To think you shouldn't tell someone that they have lost weight

[user1498912461]

I believe that you should never comment on a persons weight and I don't believe that telling someone they have lost weight is actually a compliment. It's kind of like saying they were fat before? 😂 Sil called at Christmas time and DH told her she had lost loads of weight (she's not on a diet). He then looked at me and asked - don't I think she's lost weight? I felt so awkward and just said she's always looked lovely! So aibu to think that you shouldn't comment on a persons weight? I compliment people on having nice hair, clothes, a nice smile, eyes or personality traits, never their weight.

I've lost just under 3 stone over the last year, and have had a range of comments as a result.

My favourite is definitely "oh you look well", as it covers a number of bases and has no risk of offending. I've also had, "have you lost weight?" which strikes me as a bit weird, in that if I hadn't what would they then say? No-one has said anything which makes me think they thought I was a fat bastard beforehand...

I do like the recognition, as its been quite an effort, but I'm also aware that its something I've done for me rather than for everyone else! So, when I meet people who don't comment, I'm not upset.

I agree on the principle of what you're meaning. Like, oh you must have been fat before but nobody liked to say.
However it's lovely when people notice that you look better for the weight loss.

I lost 6 stone a few years ago, everyone complimented me, even though I made no big thing about it, no posts on Facebook like some do etc, just felt fab for it. Just surprised people when I saw them after a while.

I then slowly put 3st back on after illness, (no gym, lack of movement and motivation). But nobody (apart from my immediate family) mentioned that.
Now I'm back down 2 stone again, the comments are starting about my wonderful (so far) weight loss.

So she has a young breast fed baby? I had to cut out a lot from my diet with Ds when breastfeeding due to allergy and was delighted at shifting the baby weight.

Does she look unwell or too thin?

Having lost 8 stone many people have said about my weight loss and i like the compliments i get. Its taken me two years of hard work and like when people notice.

Throughout my teens and early 20s people often complimented me on losing weight, although I hadn't or had gained it. I gradually realised that people were remembering me as fatter than I was. They'd obviously leave me thinking "fuck me, carrots is a fat bastard" and when they'd see me again think " Oh actually she's not that fat."

Yey for me. I'm not that fat.

Ha Carrots I love this! I think people think the same about me!

I hate it when people say this to me.
2 years ago my baby died at 22 weeks. I lost 2 stone quite quickly after that and people would say 'oh look how much weight you've lost, u look fab'
all it did was kick me when I was down... i shouldn't have been losing weight I should have been piling it on.
I would never comment on some1s weight loss ever

It's an assumed compliment. Thinner = better therefore just saying you have lost weight is a compliment without even saying it looks good or well or anything. It's something I've struggled with so much, battling weight my whole life. I lost about 7 stone once and utterly hated it when people had to mention it all the time, comment after comment. My issue, not saying everyone is like this at all, but for me it sent me back into binge eating and putting on all the weight and more. Like I hadn't seen my boyfriend in 6 months and was probably 4 stone lighter when I saw him, and it was comment after comment. I prefer you so much this way, wow I always knew you could do this, you look really good, you look so good now. It ate into me.

You'd never see someone who had looked underweight and filled out more and say 'oh have you put on weight?' even if they look better for it. Because fatter is never better. And it may be an eating disorder, but the other way round it couldn't be as fat people don't get eating disorders....

My sister lost some weight due to an illness and hated when people mentioned as it just brought it all back. She didn't want to tell people how ill she was, probably went from top of healthy range to lower end BMI wise but still people have to comment and see it as a compliment but unless the person specifically says 'I've tried to lose weight, it worked' you don't know if you are complimenting someone or making them feel bad.

Oh and I got so many comments about having lost enough, time to slow down now, looking gaunt almost- but at my lightest I was still within overweight BMI and if I'd been that weight all along I'd still be the fat one- but in comparison to former me I was non-existent, ill looking thin. It was quite one thing for a mum to take me aside on the playground and quietly ask how I'd lost weight, and another for someone to jokingly say in a group I was wasting away and would fall down a drain when I'm just standing there size 14, overweight and still unhealthy. It feels along the lines of 'when are you going to start having babies' and questions of that ilk, things you should know better than to comment on as there is so much that could be going on behind the scenes.

Really didn't help that at my slimmest point of my life, all dolled up travelling to a pre-wedding dinner of friends a woman on the bus kept telling me to take her seat, loudly and insistent even after I politely said no twice. I had to loudly say 'I'm not pregnant just fat' to get her to stop. Never assume someone lost weight due to looks, and never assume someone is pregnant, for similar reasons.

Yanbu
There are certain members of my family who I swear only define me by my appearance. 'Ooh you're so thin', 'you've put a bit of weight on you look great!' 'You're looking well, lost a bit of weight again'. For reasons unknown to them, it's so painful.