Bit of a long one...
My schoollife was not brilliant. From 11 - 15 I was bullied, physically and mentally.
My form fell into three groups; the followers, the puncher and the social outcasts. The followers were led by a dark soul who was clever enough never to get caught and got others to do her dirty work. The puncher was a girl that was part of the followers but much more violent and would act independently. I was one of the outcasts.
Every day something would transpire. From planting their stuff in my bag and crying thief (resulting in a bag search that would inevitably result in the missing item being discovered somewhere in my bag), to defacing or destroying my books/bag/uniform resulting in the wrath of my single parent who would struggle to replace them and the teachers who would not believe I had done the homework (pages ripped out). There was always someone pouncing as I left the classroom. There was nowhere I could ever go to escape them, they would find me. I was not allowed to laugh, put my hand up in class, even paint my toenails without being punished by one group or the other. After intervention, the dark soul backed off (3 years on) but the most violent one continued. Her physical attacks were brutal. After leaving school, I hoped I would never meet her again. Fast forward to 20 and she popped up again in my social circle. She convinced everyone she was a changed person and then hurt a very good friend, very, very badly (not physically). I never thought she would stoop so low as then.
This person dominated my life for years. Ruined every day of my high school and left me with mental scars tens of years later.
I abhor bullying of any kind and have fought tooth and nail to protect my kids from bullies. I have zero patience for anyone who raises their hand to another except in defence.
I recently heard this woman died. Part of me wants to sing "ding dong the witch is dead". However, the other part of me wants to forgive her, having paid her dues by not surviving middle age. It has brought that whole sorry time back and I am struggling to know how to feel. AIBU to feel this way after all these years? Be gentle.... childhood abuse is hard to forget.