Sick to death of this

[FeckinInLaws]

Settle in this could be long.
I have real issues with DH and him trying to please everyone.
I am at the bottom of that list.
He lends money to people without telling me.
Arranges things with his family that I am just told about i.e we are going here on this date, no would you like to do this.
Anyway, Christmas we always host.
DH has a friend with 2 DD in their late 20's.
One daughter A is very sweet and nicertainly the other one B not nice at all.
Everything is about her, she gets drunk and quite rude .
Her mum and dad are divorced and her mum is just like her.
B and her mum upset me quite badly a while ago so I kind of cut contact with her. Just deleted from FB etc.
So DH friendsometimes comes to us at Christmas, normally on his own as the girls go to their mums. But A has been once.
A few weeks before he states that he is having both girls for Christmas.
He is aware that B can be difficult and said he was having them at his house.
I said to DH 'thank god' as I really didn't want B to spoil my christmas as especially after she upset me I didn't want to be in her company.
Christmas eve DH has informed me he has asked his friend to come. A is working that day so we will have to have dinner late. B is going to her mums.
I was a bit miffed at this that our whole day has been changed for A, we have both sides of the family over and normally eat quite early.
Friend arrives christmas day with B. DH just smiles at me. I know this has been the plan all along but do not say anything so as not to upset the festivities.
B starts off being quite rude. Then as she slowly gets drunk tells me how she hates christmas and doesn't know why her dad forced her to come.
Eats everything in sight, then it's how bad her life is. Tears etc.
Perks up a bit over dinner.
Dinner which we eventually got when A phoned to say she wasn't now coming!
B gets more drunk, is rude to my niece. Calls a cab and goes home with 2 bottles if our expensive champagne.

DH just laughed at her behaviour, he said he couldn't ask his friend without asking A and B.
Do he knew all along.
This really ruined my day.
I haven't said anything yet as we have a house full until new year.
Am I in the wrong for being upset with DH and would you bring this up?

...and yes - give your DC the chance to go with you for an overnight stay. Always give them the option.

It must be pretty shit for them hearing this - have they grown up hearing him put you down? What have they learnt about relationships I wonder?

Time to start damage limitation OP.

What a nasty bastard
I sincerely hope that was the last Christmas you will ever spend with that poor excuse of a man.

Were you cooking? If do why would you put all your other guests out in order to wait for A? I really want to know what your thought process was.

Fuck talking to him about it. He's an arse. He won't care what you have to say anyway.

Go see a solicitor. Work out what you're entitled to. Find a place to rent, look for a job.

If they don't leave straight away, at some point your kids will follow. When they are stuck with just him they will quickly see what a dick he is and want to leave too.

I hope you leave op and have a wonderful, happy life

Thank you for all your advice and replies.
I am not going to my mums as this will cause upset with DC.
We have a few things planned over the next few days.
Once they are back at school I intend to have it out with him.
I tried to book myself on a IT course a while ago but he said it was too expensive.
I'm going to book it in the new year and then find myself a job.
If things don't change then I will be looking to leave.
I have always stayed because of the DC and thought it was selfish of me to disrupt their lives.
I know the whole thing at Christmas isn't the main issue.
It was just the thing that tipped me over the edge.

I was just so upset at his attitude and his disregard for my feelings.
But I just wanted to hear that I wasn't overreacting.
Thank you again

So OP how's it going. Just go and see a solicitor and work out how to become independent before your kids leave home (and you haven't worked for another 5 years). Don't let this be your future. No one least if all your kids will thank you so why oh why are you doing this?

Take his advice and go and see someone so you can see the wood from the trees, see a solicitor cause your situation will be much worse a few years down the line financially I suspect.