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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To fake illness to get a night to myself?

29 replies

LokiBear · 29/12/2017 20:27

I already know IWBU to do this.....but....its been a challenging Christmas. My 11 month old has had a rotten cold at the same time as cutting two molars. We've all had colds, dd6 has had a spate of wetting the bed and getting me up almost as much as the baby. Dh shares the night warnings but it is still exhausting, plus he has kept me up all night snoring since he has had his cold. We've been so busy doing entertaining things for the kids and seeing family. Tonight I've cooked and hosted dh's family and I'm facing a messy house once they leave. Then we are of to my parents tomorrow as we havent seen as much of them and my mum is getting a bit grumpy. Anyway... we are due to go to sils for New Years Eve with all of his family and then my parents New Year's Day. My mum has offered to have the baby overnight NYE so that the baby can stick to her routine (she can't cope with late nights and would scream from about 7pm if we took her). Dh wants me to drive so he can drink. I just don't think I cant cope with a late night full of drunk, loud people (who I love but I've seen a lot of this Christmas). Wibu to fake illness, stay at home in my baby free house and let dh and dd6 go to his sister's whilst I take a long bath and sleep through the whole thing? I know I would, but I really want to be selfish! I probably won't. AIBU?

OP posts:
Inarightpickleandchutney · 29/12/2017 20:41

Absolutely take this chance with both hands and get some rest!

YANBU

Allthewaves · 29/12/2017 20:43

Most definitely

mygorgeousmilo · 29/12/2017 20:44

Oh my goodness, I would do this and just say that I was exhausted. You’re knackered, it’s ok

Goodgirl7 · 29/12/2017 20:48

Do it.

April229 · 29/12/2017 20:51

100% do it.

RedForFilth · 29/12/2017 20:51

I'd tell the truth to your husband and ask him to tell the family you're unwell if you think they'll be funny about it. I wouldn't lie to him though, just say you're tired.

Original poster
LokiBear · 29/12/2017 20:58

If I told dh I didnt want to go he wouldn't go either. Then he'd be grumpy about it. Dd6 would be really upset as she wants to party with her cousins. My job is exhausting and has been so stressful this year. I was hoping for a relaxing break but baby dd has been so poorly and unusually cranky with her teeth cutting. I'm back to work next week and I'm dreading it.

OP posts:
Lolimax · 29/12/2017 21:00

Can you feel a migraine coming on?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 29/12/2017 21:03

Half of me is saying yes do it, but then the other half of me is thinking you shouldn’t. Sorry I’m no help. Just say you are exhausted and feeling uneasy about going. I don’t see why your husband would go if you were unwell but not if you are exhausted and need a bit of time to yourself.

diddl · 29/12/2017 21:04

Have you seen the same Ils tonight that you'll be seeing NYE?

Well, even if not, why wouldn't he go to his own family without you?

" I'm facing a messy house once they leave."

Any reason he can't clean up?

Original poster
LokiBear · 29/12/2017 21:07

Yeah the exact same (lovely) people. Dh will moan that he wants to spend NYE with me and that's why he will stay. He will help tidy up. Im just knackered.

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 29/12/2017 21:13

I wouldn't think you were being unreasonable at all. Could Dh and DD sleep over at SIL's, so he can still have a drink?

ItsYuleyme · 29/12/2017 21:14

Throw a sickie! Why not!! Lovely quiet house. Lounge in bath! Early night!
Do it, do it, do it ............

diddl · 29/12/2017 21:15

It's nice that he wants to be with you, but would he really upset your daughter?

Is there any compromise that could be made?

Original poster
LokiBear · 29/12/2017 21:16

They'd probably sleep over. It would be the first time I've been home alone in 6 years...Im salivating at the thought !

OP posts:
Almostthere15 · 29/12/2017 21:17

Do it. Everyone gets what they want!

TheDailyMailIsADisgustingRag · 29/12/2017 21:18

Yadnbu. Stay at home and relax.

I had to work at 7am on New Years Day one year, so I stayed in and got a really early night, only to be woken at midnight by stupid neighbours setting off fireworks Angry.

silkpyjamasallday · 29/12/2017 21:18

Start faking something now, work up to something that would make going inconvenient at the last minute, maybe pick something your DH would be squeamish about? Really chronic constipation perhaps? No evidence needed, your DH will just have to take your word for it. Grin

It's sounds like you've had a similar Christmas period to me OP, and I would be doing anything to get a night to myself right now, prioritise yourself for once, even if it means a little tiny lie. Your DH can very easily go and see his parents alone with the DC, you don't need to be there. Would he really not listen if you just ask for the night off, remind him he would be disappointing his parents and your older dc if he didn't go, but you need to rest.

halfwitpicker · 29/12/2017 21:19

Do it please for the love of christ.

ThatsWotSheSaid · 29/12/2017 21:20

Consider it this way. The truth will make people unhappy. A small lie makes everyone happy. So there for, it is your moral obligation to lie.

Nannyplumssillyoldelf · 29/12/2017 21:20

I would go for it. The thought of an empty house to myself would be utter bliss.

drinkyourmilk · 29/12/2017 21:21

My 9 m9nth old is still up every 2 hours. We generally cosleep so it doesn't actually disturb me that much (Apart from having a cold boob)- however at least once a fortnight I feign a headache with exhaustion and go to bed with her so I can read my book in peace. It's bloody marvellous. Starting to change her sleep associations and I'll be sad when I can no longer lie!

dancemom · 29/12/2017 21:24

Loki you are looking a bit peaky ....

Original poster
LokiBear · 29/12/2017 21:27

It's not that he wouldn't listen. More that his acceptance of it would be begrudged. I often feel pressured to make our free time 'family time'. I see my mum for a couple of hours most weekends, usually going early in the morning whilst dh has a lie in (I have a lie in on the other day). He doesn't get that he gets a couple of hours to himself and I never do. If I suggest he takes the kids to his parents or out for a couple of hours he complains that we aren't 'spending time as a family.' My kid free time is spent working or cleaning. He does some of the cleaning too, but he works part time whereas I am full time. To the outside, it looks like he does loads of house stuff, and he does, but between work, house and kids I have no time at all for myself. I don't even know what I'd do with the time if I had it. I can't remember what I like to do.

OP posts:
CreativeMumma · 29/12/2017 21:29

Definitely do it! Think of it as a mental health evening.

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