Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Please help me escape this S***Hole

64 replies

LockJawTrouble · 29/12/2017 20:21

Please help me escape this S**hole of a place called home. I want a break from my unbearable husband. I cannot stand being around him for varied reasons & need a break desperately.
Please recommend a place in the UK which are good for travelling alone, has some activities to do and is generally pleasant....
Anything to get out of here.

OP posts:
jinglebellsock · 29/12/2017 20:58

Horton Women's Holiday Centre

FeelingGuiltyAlready · 29/12/2017 21:01

Don't splash your money on travel and a hotel break! Start saving seriously for getting out of your marital home. Surely you have one special friend or relative who will give you a bed/sofa for a few nights to ease the pressure?

apostropheuse · 29/12/2017 21:01

OP, are you really looking for ideas for a short break or do you actually want to ask for help to leave him permanently?

MiltonTheChristmasCockroach · 29/12/2017 21:03

@jinglebellsock that's a great link.

Original poster
LockJawTrouble · 29/12/2017 21:04

Enrique... I am going to try for a permanent break, from this for once and all. It's just that I am not financially independent. Left it too long to sort it out. I feel so lost

OP posts:
apostropheuse · 29/12/2017 21:11

OP have you family or a close friend you can go to? A short break is all very well, but you would have to go back afterwards.

Maybe you need to take the plunge. Speak to Citizen's Advice, a women's refuge?

Small steps.

Veterinari · 29/12/2017 21:12

Edinburgh. Fantastic city, LOADS to do and plenty of lovely hills to walk up if you need some space

kaytee87 · 29/12/2017 21:14

Crieff hydro is great if you're anywhere near Scotland.
If you aren't financially independent though I'd probably put the cash into your account as the start of your 'get out' fund.

Willswife · 29/12/2017 21:14

Stratford upon Avon, Bath or Mumbles. Could also do something like Champneys if you like spa breaks, probably deals on during Jan.

Hope you enjoy yourself wherever you go.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 29/12/2017 21:15

You could do a course with the WI at Denman College in Jan
www.denman.org.uk/courses

JaneEyre70 · 29/12/2017 21:17

Can you look at something like a walking holiday? Something to physically tire you out, and that doesn't involve thinking of any kind?

LazyDailyMailJournos · 29/12/2017 21:21

Edinburgh is a wonderful city to visit and very compact for getting about on foot, but with an excellent public transport system including a tram if you get tired or want to go a bit further afield.

The Premier Inn at Haymarket is comfortable, affordable and it's a steady 10 minute walk from there to the West End of Princes Street. If you travel by car there is a car-park for the hotel, but given that Waverley (and Haymarket) stations are both very central (either end of Princes Street), it's ideal to travel there by train and leave the car at home.

Emmageddon · 29/12/2017 21:23

North Wales. Visit Angel Bay and watch the seals playing, walk up the Great Orme, walk along the beaches, go to Anglesey, Puffin Island, enjoy some peace and quiet.

cathycake · 29/12/2017 21:29

Regardless where you go, you then have to go back to your 'shithole'
It sounds as though you're unhappy about something so make sure that it gets sorted. Hope things turn out well for you x

Arborea · 29/12/2017 21:32

Harrogate. A morning in the Turkish baths followed by lunch or afternoon tea at Betty's and then a moosey round the shops is one of my favourite pastimes. And if it's good enough for Agatha Christie to get over heartbreak then it's plenty good enough for me!

Original poster
LockJawTrouble · 29/12/2017 21:33

Cathy cake..... You are right. It's just that I am in such a terrible position,that it will take a lot to sort things out. I am 8 years behind in my field, to even apply for a job. Have got a child and not financially independent to sustain us.

OP posts:
Laine21 · 29/12/2017 21:36

Women's refuge in a different part of the country? are you able to plan and put money aside for your escape?
Is he violent? Abusive? Solicitor?
You have options, but need advice, and help to plan, possibly from a local women's group, or similar depending on your circumstances and reasons for your escape. Do you need to consider changing your name?

helpfulperson · 29/12/2017 21:37

Both travelodge and premier inn have loads of deals at the moment. Pick a nearby city you fancy, take a couple of days and think about what you really want to do with the rest of your life. I love them because they are clean, cheap and anonymous. You can disappear for a bit and do what you want. If that means stay in your room and eat takeaway, watch crap TV and think then do that.

KarmaStar · 29/12/2017 21:38

Book a coach tour,all you have to do is climb on-board and let the driver take you away.....

Athaliah · 29/12/2017 21:43

Go to a city. There’s lots to do and the hustle and bustle will be distracting.

cathycake · 29/12/2017 21:50

Lockjaw - been there and done it so know what your feeling.
It's terrifying at first but believe me that anxiety will disappear and your adrenaline kicks in to sort everything out.
Obviously our stories are probably hugely different but I did it and just wish I had done it sooner. I've been where you are the wanting to run away but you can't run away from yourself. Concentrate on yourself and your children if you have any . Be selfish. Plan. Make enquiries with solicitors or such but have a get out plan. Just to have a few ideas will encourage you. If you need help with benefits then don't be afraid either. I was on benefits for a couple of years. I was devastated as my pride was injured but the lovely lady told me to consider it a stepping stone. It certainly was a stepping stone to help me get myself straight and not get behind with mortgage and get myself ft job etc. Speak to people though you are certainly not alone x

Original poster
LockJawTrouble · 29/12/2017 21:51

Laine21. He is not violent or abusive physically. He is extremely manipulative and very difficult to deal with. I gave up my career to look after our little one as he was "conquering " his business. He never listens to me on things that matter. He takes major decisions about major stuff himself, under the pretext of doing it for the best intentions. He smokes weed and says that nothing is right or wrong , it's just a difference in perception.

OP posts:
Original poster
LockJawTrouble · 29/12/2017 22:02

Cathycake....I have lost perspective. I am not even sure whether I am asking too much or it's just that he is so manipulative that even he doesn't understand

OP posts:
cathycake · 29/12/2017 22:18

Just be sure that your not unhappy with yourself first. It's easy to blame others if your down but sometimes you need a short sharp kick up the arse to get yourself in gear and look at yourself and see what you want to change. It's your life and only you can control it. You say manipulative but you are your own person and that means you can stop any manipulative behaviour. As I said it's hard as I don't know what is getting to you but sometimes it's the little things that build up .... get control of your life you really deserve it. X what is your biggest worry or problem?

DonutDiv · 29/12/2017 22:22

Use the money towards a deposit for a new place?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread