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Original poster

Have I just bought a kid a really fucking inappropriate gift??

91 replies

twiney · 29/12/2017 19:03

Help!

My DP has 3 nephews aged 7, 14 and 18.

I bought them a Xmas present each and I think I've fucked up the one for the middle boy, but need MN to help!

He's a kind of smart, wacky kid with a great sense of humour, he's basically the family "clown".

I bought him this fairly dense wry book, I've got it in French (they're French) but in English I believe it's called The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook.

Basically loads of detailed advice on how to escape quicksand, fight off an octopus, etc, you get the idea.

Except just flicking through it again as I was about to wrap it...it has some absolutely fucking ridiculous and annoying parts such as "how to fake an orgasm". What the fuck?! First of all, what a dumb and immature sensationalist addition to an otherwise entertaining book.

And second of all, I cant now give this to a 14 year old kid, can I?! I dont know whats appropriate. They are French and pretty relaxed and not pearl clutchy, but I dunno..

I'm so pissed off, DP is leaving really early tomorrow morning so I dont have time to get him something else.

I got the older kid a shot set so can't swap theirs. I could replace the book with the younger kids pressie (brain teaser thing) but then the younger kid will be without.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
haveacupofteaandamincepie · 29/12/2017 19:05

Bung them all a tenner and return the gifts?

Korez · 29/12/2017 19:07

Cut out the inappropriate pages?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 29/12/2017 19:07

Yep I'm with Mincepie.
I know there's not much thought gone into money, but you can't go far wrong with it.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 29/12/2017 19:08

Can't dh buy something for his dn at airport/ Eurostar? Take some wrapping paper and wrap it there?

BoomBoomsCousin · 29/12/2017 19:09

I think a book with “how to fake an orgasm” is a bit inappropriate for a 14 year old, though it’s not really going to harm him. 14 year old will probably appreciate cash - for a teen it’s a gift of autonomy - so easy enough to give that instead.

Original poster
twiney · 29/12/2017 19:09

@Korez
Grin

OP posts:
LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/12/2017 19:09

He's 14.....IMO that sounds like a great gift!

Seriously, he'll know what an orgasm/sex is by now (at least I bloody well hope so!)

I'd have loved that at 14!

I nicked my Mums Joy of Sex aged 10.....books he'll have read at school will have more sex in.....you are over thinking- send it!

TenancyTroublesAgain · 29/12/2017 19:10

I'd give a voucher/money instead of looking through every page for something inappropriate.

moggle · 29/12/2017 19:11

Oh god
This is giving me flashbacks to when I bought the Monty Python CD online direct from amazon for some friends kids age 7,10,13ish as a thank you for having me stay with them in the US for a few weeks when I was 19. They had been going on about monty python a lot during my stay and singing Always look on the bright side of life... it was only a few months later I actually heard the whole CD and songs like every sperm is sacred and the song about STDs... I was just dying! They never mentioned it and now are well adjusted adults so...

pinkbraces · 29/12/2017 19:11

It’s fine, he is 14

Pinky333777 · 29/12/2017 19:12

I don't think it's so bad.
But I would have a word with his parents just to check first. If they don't like it, swap for cash.

Original poster
twiney · 29/12/2017 19:13

@moggle
Grin
As a kid growing up in the middle east you'd buy books and find whole pages censored with black tipex stuff. I suppose I could do that....Wink

OP posts:
LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 29/12/2017 19:13

Can't believe people think it's inappropriate!

He's 14......novels at school I did had sex scenes in....rude jokes were the norm...and it's a couple of pages in an otherwise great sounding book.

GetYourRocksOff · 29/12/2017 19:13

I think it's fine!

Original poster
twiney · 29/12/2017 19:13

Let me quickly check what other inappropriate stuff might be in there

OP posts:
Abouttoblow · 29/12/2017 19:13

I'm with Korez Take the inappropriate pages out Grin

StealthPolarBear · 29/12/2017 19:14

It's fine

Nikephorus · 29/12/2017 19:14

Either stick the "offending" pages together or just hand it over and know that it'll be enjoyed and sniggered over Grin
For all you know he's already sexually active!

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/12/2017 19:14

God I was reading Lace and other such smug a lot younger than 14

I would give it personally

CircleofWillis · 29/12/2017 19:15

I have that book and have used it with some of my teenage clients. They are a couple of risqué pages but most of it is just funny and silly and some bits actually jolly useful. I think it is a great present for a 14 year old.

I remember going through the Guinness book of records at an earlier age looking for the rude bits. Great fun!

AdaColeman · 29/12/2017 19:16

He's French, he'll never need to know how to fake an orgasm!

KenForPM · 29/12/2017 19:17

Maybe give it to him, and if his parents complain, claim innocence? “But I had no idea it had advice on faking orgasms!”

Original poster
twiney · 29/12/2017 19:17

Honestly the book is great. There are 400 situations, from the wildly zany to the very practical and just 2 that are a bit borderline:
How to fake an orgasm, and
How to recognise when someone's faking an orgasm

OP posts:
NapQueen · 29/12/2017 19:17

Just give him it. He is 14. At least now he will properly know how to fake an orgasm so can get some cred off his schoolmates at "knowing" what an orgasm is like. Which is all the y9s were talking about when I was at school

SoupDragon · 29/12/2017 19:17

You can’t stick together pages about sex. That would be suspicious.