Have I just bought a kid a really fucking inappropriate gift??

[twiney]

Help!

My DP has 3 nephews aged 7, 14 and 18.

I bought them a Xmas present each and I think I've fucked up the one for the middle boy, but need MN to help!

He's a kind of smart, wacky kid with a great sense of humour, he's basically the family "clown".

I bought him this fairly dense wry book, I've got it in French (they're French) but in English I believe it's called The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook.

Basically loads of detailed advice on how to escape quicksand, fight off an octopus, etc, you get the idea.

Except just flicking through it again as I was about to wrap it...it has some absolutely fucking ridiculous and annoying parts such as "how to fake an orgasm". What the fuck?! First of all, what a dumb and immature sensationalist addition to an otherwise entertaining book.

And second of all, I cant now give this to a 14 year old kid, can I?! I dont know whats appropriate. They are French and pretty relaxed and not pearl clutchy, but I dunno..

I'm so pissed off, DP is leaving really early tomorrow morning so I dont have time to get him something else.

I got the older kid a shot set so can't swap theirs. I could replace the book with the younger kids pressie (brain teaser thing) but then the younger kid will be without.

Thoughts?

Chickoletta what is your concern exactly?

Whatve you got for the youngest?

My 18 yr old DD would appreciate the shot glasses hugely! :)

12, maybe not, but 14, fine. My DS was reading Game of Thrones before then. A shot set for an 18 year old, now that would make me hoick my judgy pants

You'll be the cool aunt or uncle when he gets the book..

DS is 15 and he would love that book. I’d be fine with him having it (have only read the first page though, reserve the right to change my mind if there are further updates.)

You know his parents and what they’d think. Either give it or cut out the offending page.

It’s French. Are you sure it doesn’t translate as “if you need to fake an orgasm your partner is a disgrace to their country and should be reported to the relevant authorities.”

Please tell me you’ve got the youngest Cards Against Humanity or some kind of knife/lighter.

I would give it tbh

It's fine. And so are the shot glasses for the adult (obviously).

Just pretend you didn’t see those pages! Who reads a book before they gift it?? Least DN will know orgasms aren’t all real like porn teaches kids now days!! And let’s face it, at 14 they are probably watching that!!

send the book. 14 is fine!

pretend you haven't seen the pages in there and if it comes up be really apologetic and offer up a new gift and you'll be sure to be extra careful next time.

I may have had to do this...

We have that book, my sons 13 ( it was his older brothers) I have no idea if he’s read it and I’m not rushing to the book shelf to find and censor it!

Sticky pages. immature giggle 😆

On the plus side, at least he might make sure his girlfriend is happy, when he becomes sexually active.

WhatInTheWorld

An average 7yo could (would?) own a pocket knife, couldn’t they?

He's French, he'll never need to know how to fake an orgasm

Pretend you didn't see the sex pages. A 14yo boy isn't going to mention them to his parents. Nobody will ever know.

DH reckons DS got that book before he was 10. We never read it very closely.

My 14 year old DS got a similar book - in fact I think it has the same title. But it's by the wholesome Bear Grylls. Didn't check it for any sex bits.

He's probably already sneaked a read of 50shades of grey!
book was doing the rounds when we went on holiday with our teens 5 yrs ago and unbeknownst to us at the time , they'd got another teens copy and they were all reading bits out of it to each other

I got the 7 year old a zippo and a flick knife, now having second thoughts..

When I was 15 my mum bought me an Italian phrase book for a school trip. There were pages in there about hitting on people and things to say during sex.

I don't think she realised, and I never said anything.

If anything is said, feign shock and horror and apologise. Until then, I'd run with it.

Are you sure it's that book? The one telling you how to survive if for example you drive your car into a lake or are thrown into the sea with weights and your hands tied?

As I got that for my 13 year old nephew last year ( very his thing) and had a good look through first as I love that stuff too and there wasn't a whisper of anything orgasmic in it :/

Do you have a picture of the page?

I've got a 14 yo DD. I think it's fine. Some of her friends have definitely had sex