To be annoyed

[LynzyG]

I don’t have children, yet every birthday, Christmas, Easter e.t.c I buy at least 10 gifts for children of our friends! Aibu to be annoyed that I put so much effort into their children’s gifts, when They literally don’t even write us a Christmas card, birthday card etc. We’re not asking for anything extravagant. Literally just a Christmas card to acknowledge us.

No that’s rude they should say thank you at least. I’d stop buying

Honestly just stop giving them gifts if you feel annoyed about it.

Do they acknowledge and thank you for the gifts? If so YABU.

I don't send many Christmas cards and rarely send birthday cards to friends any more. I think a lot of people are the same now.

I would just stop buying tbh.

Yes, you clearly don't have children. There is a good chance that your friends barely have the energy to remember to put their own socks on in the mornings (not to mention the socks of tiny, wriggly off spring). Expecting things like Christmas cards (which require a disproportionate amount of energy for a negligible effect) from parents of young children, especially if they have multiple children shows a fundamental lack of understanding.

I have children. I can remember and plan to be so socially backward as to not acknowledge gifts and send cards and gifts to those close enough to do likewise. Busyness with children is no excuse for lazy, grabby and rude behaviour.

RestingGrinchFace. Oh that's good. I didn't realise that having children entitled me to be a down right rude individual.

*not.
But then your attitude restinggrinch is that perhaps I am socially backward to think I should make the effort and teach my children to do the same.

Do they do thank yous? Cards or otherwise? If not, that’s really rude and I wouldn’t buy any more.

Why on earth are you still buying them presents, OP?

I sort of know what Resting is saying. It's no excuse to be rude though. Luckily my friends don't give the kids gifts really but I know when someone does, I'm extremly grateful to them for their kindness but feel some panic that I need to remember to get in touch to say thanks. I usually try to whatsapp immediately because if I don't, it can be hard to remember in the face of my daily chaos with the kids. You'd be surprised how often it's impossible to escape a screaming baby or toddler to even try and locate my phone.

But as I said it's no excuse. OP you are very kind to give friends kids gifts.

Restinggrinch- forgot parents are the only busy people!

Stop buying them presents. Do you see the children often enough for them to actually know you? If not, your present will just be another “thing” in a big pile of other stuff.

I only buy for nieces and nephews now.

I'm a single parent children and I'm a student also doing work placement.
I don't send Christmas cards, I make a donation to a charity that's close to my heart instead but would message to thank you if we hadn't seen you already

That should say 4 children ^^

RestingGrinchFace your attitude stinks. Plenty of people without children understand that parents are busy. Plenty of people without children are also busy themselves. Plenty of parents manage to send Christmas cards to people who buy for their kids.

buy presents if you enjoy buying the children presents.

Don't if you don't.

I don't have the faintest idea when most of my friends birthdays are, and think Christmas cards are a total waste of time, money and resources. I don't send cards and hate receiving them.

That doesn't mean I don't love the fact that some of my friends treat my children, as and when they can, with appropriated cost ranges, and I love treating my friends children, if and when I have the money, and I see something they would like.

Expecting things like Christmas cards (which require a disproportionate amount of energy for a negligible effect) from parents of young children, especially if they have multiple children shows a fundamental lack of understanding. - let me rephase that for you Grinch,
Expecting things like Christmas presents (which require a disproportionate amount of energy time and money for a negligible effect) for parents of young children, especially if they have multiple children shows a fundamental lack of understanding, social skills, appreciation and also teaches your multiple children that they can just take without giving a single ounce of thought back*

There you go.

Children have been requested and required to write Thank you cards for decades. Your little darlings will not be scarred, and you (the mummee) will have taught a valuable life lesson in being kind and appreciative.

@restinggrinchface

Eh? I always send and receive thank yous from other parents of young children. I think the vast majority of parents do ime.

It is lovely to receive a thank you, but I certainly do not give gifts with any expectations.

When you had over the gifts, unopened, surely the parents/kids say thank you, maybe they think they have already thanked you?

*hand

RestingGrinchFace I had to read your post twice and I'm still sat here wondering WTF I've just read

Please tell me it was sarcasm, right?

Maybe cut back on the number of presents? and if possible, give them in person so they have to say thank you to your face???

I’m at the stage of not bothering anymore for my nephews and niece. They’re in Oz so often the postage alone ends up costing £70, and the only way I know the gifts have arrived is by paying extra for the tracking. It’s basic good manners to say thank you.

You can buy charity gifts (like Oxfam goat type things) specifically for children. I’d start buying those for everyone. Far less hassle and less annoying when you don’t get anything back. You just see it as a donation to charity.

I am chronically ill. I very occasionally have not got dd to send cards because I’m struggling to even look after me let alone dd. In the main, she does. Plain rude not to acknowledge a gift. Even a text would be something.