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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed

41 replies

LynzyG · 29/12/2017 10:01

I don’t have children, yet every birthday, Christmas, Easter e.t.c I buy at least 10 gifts for children of our friends! Aibu to be annoyed that I put so much effort into their children’s gifts, when They literally don’t even write us a Christmas card, birthday card etc. We’re not asking for anything extravagant. Literally just a Christmas card to acknowledge us.

OP posts:
ExConstance · 29/12/2017 10:43

My mother is 91 and it is one of her pleasures to remember the birthdays and send cheques to all the younger relations. (Christmas too) She seldom gets any responses which is really sad as she gets so much pleasure from a thank you letter or card. I have always insisted my children sent thank you letters when they were little and now they have grown up they are still considerate in this respect.

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2017 10:44

The OP's not even asking for a thank you card

Just a Christmas card, which would be the most basic form of acknowledgement at this time of year.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 29/12/2017 10:44

It's incredibly rude. Stop sending presents. And it's bollox to suggest that anyone can be too busy to send a card.

Auspiciouspanda · 29/12/2017 10:46

I have two small children, single parent and work full time.

If your happy to accept presents for your children but then can't be arsed to at least get your friend a card or remember your friends birthday you aren't a good friend.

But on here OP your the devil for 'expecting' anything. When it fact it's not getting stuff it's how the lack of thought makes you feel.

Op forget getting anyone presents who can't send you a text thanks or a card.

TalkinBoutWhat · 29/12/2017 10:48

Erm, why are you buying their children gifts? Out of curiosity have any of them ever said 'oh you shouldn't have', because if they did then they meant it.

I really don't like the gift exchanges that some friends get into and i've pulled away from the friendshios as a result. My DH and i come from large families and there's a tacit agreement not to buy presents unless you're actually spending Christmas together. No way am i buying presents for over 40 nieces and nephews, so why would I start buying for friend's children?!

Intercom · 29/12/2017 10:48

Just stop sending them.

wannabestressfree · 29/12/2017 10:49

I am sorry but bullshit excuses about why cards, presents etc aren't acknowledged just aren't good enough. Of course children should say thank you. It's basic good manners. I would expect my sons to say thank you and find some way to reciprocate or not get another.....

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 29/12/2017 10:50

Are you serious, Resting? How utterly ridiculous to suggest having children prevents you observing the very basics of good manners Hmm
I'll be generous and assume your post was a pisstake...
You're not being the slightest bit unreasonable, op. Stop buying for them.

Jaxhog · 29/12/2017 10:53

Stop buying. It doesn't take more than a few minutes to text/call thank you. If they can't even be bothered to send a christmas card...well.

HappyAndRelaxed · 29/12/2017 10:54

My advice is to stop buying because if this bothers you now, if/when you have your own DC these parents will not buy anything for your DC, nor will they offer to babysit to help you out. It will be a lot more frustrating for you, thinking of all the time, effort and money you have spent on them over the years.

badabing36 · 29/12/2017 10:54

Why are you sending your friend's children gifts?

I think it's ott to send your friends presents (luckily so do my friends) let alone their kids. Well I give an outfit/toy when they're born, but that's about it.

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2017 10:58

Why she's sending them is irrelevant.

It's the lack of a basic Christmas card/acknowledgement that's the problem.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 29/12/2017 11:04

I do think it’s rude you’ve had no acknowledgement. Also though, please stop sending them presents, most children get far too many already. Why not buy them for a charity that collects toys to give children who don’t have lots of other presents at Christmas instead?

Willow2017 · 29/12/2017 11:20

Having kids isnt a get out of being a decent human being clause.

My kids always sent thank you letters for presents. We always sent xmas cards or birthday cards to friends and family. Everyone has stuff in thier life kids arent the only things that make people 'busy'.

Op i would stop buying for these selfish ungrateful people. Spend your miney on treats for yourself. Send a card if you feel you want to but stop wasting your money on people who have no consideration for others.

badabing36 · 29/12/2017 11:28

Well yes Worra I agree with that. I just hate it when people give me gifts as I have a big family and a low income, but I always at least say thank you and try to give something back.

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2017 12:03

I'm just thinking of all these tired parents who forgot to put their socks on Xmas Grin

Their feet must be blue.

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