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AIBU?

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Original poster

to tell 13 yo DD she can't read American Psycho? - also alternatives please. (Content Warning from MNHQ)

120 replies

GatherlyGal · 28/12/2017 20:06

So my (very mature) 13 year old DD has come home from town with American Psycho which she bought in Waterstones. I'm a bit surprised they sold it to her tbh but I suppose it's not their job to police who is buying what.

Anyway at the risk of making it sound even more exciting I've taken it off her and plan to return it. She's very interested in psychopaths so any slightly more appropriate suggestions would be very welcome!

OP posts:
sashh · 29/12/2017 03:32

OP

I think you need to make it clear (if you have not already) that it is not that it is too mature but that the content is extreme.

If she wants fiction then head her towards Val McDermid, her Carol Jordan and Tony Hill books have a fair amount of psychos in them without being too graphic.

Although I suppose graphic is subjective so you might want to read first (if you haven't already).

Tessliketrees · 29/12/2017 03:42

We Need to Talk about Kevin is an interesting study of attachment but to be honest most adults I know had a hard time keeping engaged with it.

Nakedavenger74 · 29/12/2017 04:09

I'd say no but I did read it at her age. Found it disturbing and had to skip bit but as a PP said it's good moderate ones own tolerance. Alternatives;
One flew over the cuckoos nest
Catcher in the rye
Rosemary's baby
Flowers in the attic and the others in the series

JustGettingStarted · 29/12/2017 04:26

She may enjoy Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.

Funkyferret · 29/12/2017 04:34

Urgh, it's awful, the prostitutes and the rusty coat hanger and all the rest. Tried reading other Easton Ellis, just dull, self absorbed, materialistic shit, don't get the hype. He's got form. I feel I should be saying "13? Psychopaths? YOU are the PARENT" but I get it. The Wasp Factory, Catcher in the Rye, Flowers in the Attic?

Mustang27 · 29/12/2017 05:03

I love the author but find the book disturbing even as an adult plus very graphic so I'm not sure it wise to read it at 13.

I think your right op take it off her but don't return it tell her you will store it away in your room and tell her to come back to it when she is in uni maybe lol. I'd try just explaining the sexual violence and why it's not necessary that she needs to know about that in such colourful detail. Tbh showing her the movie may only peak her interest more. She may still secretly read it but you have done your best. I'd have suggested showing her the thread of all the other people saying nope to reading it but some have put book details in the thread so that's a no now lol.

minniemummy0 · 29/12/2017 06:07

I read American Psycho at 14. I was not mentally scarred for life, or traumatised. My parents never policed my book choices, I read a lot of adult material - Anais Nin which I nicked from my parents shelves, for example. Lolita was, and still is, one of my favourite books. I love the way it is written.

To be honest, that year I read Tess of the D’Urbervilles, and some of that has stayed with me and deeply upset me in a way American Psycho didn’t. Her baby dying and being refused a proper burial very much upset me as at the time I was at the time very devout! But that was a “classic”, a set text at school. Very much approved of.

You can never protect a child fully from the world - my parents could have banned American Psycho, but could never have foreseen Tess upsetting me!!

afrikat · 29/12/2017 06:57

I don't think there is any point telling her she 'can't' read it as she will get hold of it if she wants but I would definitely warn her to expect to read some horrible things that she might not be able to forget
Others I would recommend
Helter Skelter
Patricia Cornwell series
Stephen King / James Herbert books

StoneColdDiva · 29/12/2017 07:12

American Psycho is one of my favourite books. It is a scathing satire of consumerism and the commodification of people. I read it as an older teen and have read it again several times as an adult.

My dear for your daughter would be that she might give it too literal a reading. The guy is a psycho, yes, but he does not kill anyone, it is all the demented rambling of a man with serious mental issues. The book (and the film for that matter) makes this clear but many people miss it and i would be concerned a 13 yo would too.

Should you ban it? Probably will only make it more appealing to her.

StoneColdDiva · 29/12/2017 07:18

TheSmallClanger
It is very clear that it is all in his head!

There are clues from the first chapter. Then towards the end there are specific things, such as his return to the apartment where he thinks he has murdered Paul Owen after months only to find it immaculate and on the market for sale.

There is no doubt the torture scenes are horrible and described in terrible detail, but the conclusion is that these did not actually take place.

Some of it is subtle; Bateman can apparently spot a Ralph Lauren tie at a hundred paces but cannot place faces or names of close associates. And then he mixes up the clothing he describes within a single chapter / day. He is a completely unreliable narrator. At one point he says a Cheerio speaks from his TV! We know not to believe a word of what he is saying. And so when the dead bodies do not start piling up, we know his unreliability extends to the murders he has described too.

Battleax · 29/12/2017 07:24

In terms of what you ideally do and do not want in a 13 year old's brain, it's the depraved imagery that's the concern, not whether the fictional character actually commits the acts or merely imagines and describes them in fine detail.

Battleax · 29/12/2017 07:25

(I can't believe that really needed pointing out, but I'll play along.)

StoneColdDiva · 29/12/2017 07:31

Oh I do agree. The scenes with the torture cannot be unread.

And I would not want a 13 yo of mine to read them either. They are truly shocking.

I suppose I was missing more about the book and responding to someone upthread who said we don't know it all happens in his head.

wewentoutonsunday · 29/12/2017 07:33

I read this at 26; it remains the only book to have given me nightmares.

Agree with many of the other book recommendations on here.

Lucylululu · 29/12/2017 07:35

It's an amazing piece of literature. Children her age will be seeing hideous violence on TV and video games and parents barely question it. I'd let her read it personally and be very proud of her for it!

Dozer · 29/12/2017 07:40

I would be frank with her about - in this case extreme - sexual violence in film, books and RL, and how often fictional violence is gratuitous and sexist.

I would highlight the risk of upsetting memories / mental images that could be hard to shake, as some posters have described here.

And of reading or viewing extreme sexual content at her age in particular, as her sexuality develops, is not a good idea.

Dozer · 29/12/2017 07:42

Proud of her, for seeking out violent / shocking material?

Standard teen stuff - nothing to inspire pride there IMO.

badabing36 · 29/12/2017 07:47

To be honest I couldn't get past the description of him getting dressed and his grooming routine. I get why it was like that, but I got bored and skipped a bit. Then I skipped some more and then I gave up Blush. Never got to the pornographic violence. Grin

LemonShark · 29/12/2017 07:58

I read it at 14 and have re read it many times since. Even as a 29 year old now there are passages I still read from between my splayed fingers!

I would let her read it. At thirteen, having made the active decision to seek it out, I'd be more inclined to warn her it's disturbing but then give her the ability to decide to read it or not, if she finds it too much she can put it down! I guarantee you she's read all about it online anyway and knows what she's letting herself in for. 13 year olds are a lot more mature than they're given credit for and able to regulate their own intake of literature/films etc, I wouldn't want to encourage censorship and the idea that if something is deemed disturbing by someone than others should be banned from witnessing it. Plus you're just treating her like a little kid in her eyes and making the book that much more deliciously taboo! It's a disturbing book but there's nothing wrong with engaging with disturbing material. By that age I'd read Peter sutcliffe's biography and a child called it as they were on the shelves at home. My mum loved reading and was glad I was so interested and let me crack on with it, can't imagine at that age having a book removed for being 'too much' when I'd managed to go out and buy it myself!

Highly recommend we need to talk about Kevin and the hunger games books for her if she's drawn to American psycho.

LemonShark · 29/12/2017 08:03

Ps: taking this book off her is futile. I'd bet good money she'll just buy it again and hide it, get from library or download onto her phone. You can't stop her reading it. Better for her to know she can talk to you about it if she wants to.

nolongersurprised · 29/12/2017 08:28

I loved Kevin. It’s in my top 5.

What about Never Let Me Go by Kazuro Ishiguro? Really well written and a fascinating mismatch between what actually happens - humans are cloned and brought up in order to serve as organ donors - and the tone of the narrator, who was one of the children created for this purpose. It’s very chilling: more so for not being overly emotive.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 29/12/2017 08:54

Ooh, yes: Never Let Me Go is a very good read - thought-provoking and yes, disturbing, but a million miles from the torture-porn of American Psycho.

I'd let her read it personally and be very proud of her for it!

Would you let her play Grand Theft Auto and be very proud of her for that too? The fact that American Psycho is a book doesn't give it magic properties, you know, which make it somehow better than the computer games teenagers play or the stuff they read online. If DS (14) brought home Fifty Shades of Shite, I wouldn't be patting him on the head and saying "Well done, darling, you managed to buy a book all by yourself".

Weedsnseeds1 · 29/12/2017 09:23

I can remember my dad giving me The Rats by James Herbert to read at about that age. We were on a camping holiday and I'd run out of things to read, he'd finished The Rats, so gave it to me. In retrospect no idea why he thought it was appropriate!
AP is intended as satire but I doubt a 13 year old would pick up on that and likely to read it literally.
OH just pointed out it's sold under shrink wrap in Oz.
But, yes, she'll read it any way. I think PP suggestion of getting her to read it out loud to you is a good one!

NambiBambi · 29/12/2017 10:11

I disagree with the PPs who say that the dd will read this anyway. If she is as mature as the OP feels her to be and they have a good relationship and open chat about this then I think the DD can understand that there are some things in life that you still need to be protected from by your parents and it isn't a reflection on your own maturity or intelligence. There are many things I have read about as an adult (sadly, mainly historical events rather than fiction) that I wish I could unknow.

user1498927651 · 29/12/2017 10:22

I wish books had an age recommendation (content/interest level based) and content descriptors similar to films. Not to restrict reading but as a guide.

My 11 year old reads beyond the young adult section and it is difficult to find out which books have disturbing content versus just more mature themes and complex ideas.

I would warn her that the book has disturbing content that may put horrible images in her head and give her nightmares. Then offer to help her find other books written for adults that are more appropriate. I don't think you can stop her at this age if she still wants to read it though.