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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stolen Christmas gift

76 replies

TrashMonkee · 28/12/2017 19:43

Obviously I have name changed
I have received a superdry hoodie from a relative for Christmas which is a bit small for me and I could probably do with the next size up. The relative has left the labels in so I was planning on taking it to my nearest store next week to see if I could change it for a bigger size. However I have now discovered that the relative has actually bought this online and then reported it as not delivered and got a second one which he gave to his sister. Mine is definitely the one reported missing.
So would the people in the shop know that it was reported missing if I went in to get a different size? I really like the hoodie and would never have known it was reported missing if it fit well.
What should I do? Am I a terrible person for wanting to keep it (and change it to a size that fits me)?

OP posts:
MsHopey · 29/12/2017 14:41

I am curious in thinking the relative got you an item too small as they knew they were going to say it was delivered and ask for a replacement. And brought it in the sisters size?
If which case not only is it a stolen present, the only thought in it was "don't give a shit if it doesn't fit, it looks good so will make me look good" until the truth comes out, you know?

Ellisandra · 29/12/2017 14:59

I'd be giving that right back to my relative and telling them to fuck off.

crazycatgal · 29/12/2017 15:02

It's a hoodie so will have the exact same serial number as all of the same ones. There will be nothing on it to identify it as one that was reported missing.

fantasmasgoria1 · 29/12/2017 15:24

To call someone scum for this is harsh imo! It’s not a great situation but I don’t think the op is scum!

Ellisandra · 29/12/2017 15:29

I didn't call the OP scum, but actually - yeah, if the cap (hoodie) fits, wear it.

I think that people who receive stolen goods are scum.

EasterRobin · 29/12/2017 16:53

If my relative can't comfortably afford to buy me a Superdry hoodie (without thinking theft is a good idea) I'd want to put a low price limit on gifts with them in future so they don't feel compelled to reciprocate in an exchange of expensive gifts.

They didn't actually buy you a gift, so maybe you should buy your own and either leave this small one anonymously I the dressing room of a store (all the exciting fun of stealing without the bad karma) or send it back to the Superdry returns address.

dontbesillyhenry · 29/12/2017 22:24

I called the op scum and couldn't give a shiny shite who doesn't like it. Profiting from an item she knows is stolen- if it walks like a duck...

StrawBasket · 29/12/2017 22:32

get off your high horse dontbesillyhenry you are being silly and inflammatory.

I don't believe for a second most posters who run to the shop to give back a "stolen" hoodie.

dontbesillyhenry · 29/12/2017 22:47

If not handling stolen goods makes me on a high horse then I'm very glad to be so. I would give it back to my relative and tell them they were very lucky I wasn't reporting them for theft/fraud

crazycatgal · 29/12/2017 22:57

@dontbesillyhenry You are calling the OP scum for receiving a gift she didn't originally know was reported missing? Get a grip.

Maybebaby99 · 29/12/2017 23:04

I’m with the people who think this is theft.

I used to own an online clothing shop and this happened to me a couple of times. I started sending everything tracked and I still got a few “it never arrived” emails that - when tracked - I could prove they did.

This is theft whether it’s from a small store or a huge one. And it’s wrong. The question shouldn’t be “can I get my stolen item in the size that fits?” It should be “should I give my stolen item back?” And yes - you should. Even if you weren’t the one who stole it.

Maryz · 29/12/2017 23:11

So do you think what the op's friend did is ok, StrawBasket?

Is it acceptable because it's a parcel, marked as undelivered, and who cares, lots of parcels aren't delivered? Would it also be ok if the friend had shoplifted the hoodie? If so, what about if it was stolen from the back of a car? What if it was someone else's Christmas present stolen from a bag from under a table in a restaurant?

Are there levels of theft that are acceptable? Is it ever ok to knowingly keep something stolen?

crazycatgal, she's being called scum for intentionally keeping (or exchanging) something she knows is stolen.

There would be no thieves if there were no users/buyers/wearers of stolen goods.

Isetan · 30/12/2017 00:24

Attempting to exchange an item you know was obtained fraudulently is just upping the CF ante.

StrawBasket · 30/12/2017 08:51

So do you think what the op's friend did is ok,
I've never said that Maryz.

The OP did not steal, shoplift or even asked for a stolen item, so it's completely out of order to call her a "scum". Wondering what to do with the item is a reasonable question, and I bet most people first reaction would not be to run to the nearest shop to give it back. (it's sometimes more of a pain for the staff to deal with this sort of thing anyway)

It's funny how people have such high standards on this forum, but most see nothing wrong in purchasing items from companies using slave labour and completely unsafe factories.

BeverlyGoldberg · 30/12/2017 10:54

In receiving the hoody OP originally did nothing wrong. The giver of the gift probably knew that OP is a bigger size but as they couldn’t change the size of the replacement order they had to receive the same size that they had originally purchased.

The CF’ery begins when the OP asks for advice in profiteering from the original crime. This is also another crime in the making as they know the original hoody is stolen yet wish to receive a) a different size or b) a credit note for an alternative item.

Both of these desired outcomes result in the OP furthering the original offence.

I’m not saying the Police should be called but if you walked into the Superdry shop, picked up a hoody and walked out (which is what has essentially happened here) the Police would certainly be interested.

I’d give three hoody away to a homeless charity OP. You probably don’t want to call the Police and get your relative in trouble but you equally don’t want a stolen hoody in your possession.

starzig · 30/12/2017 11:06

I would return it to the relative saying that in don't feel comfortable receiving stolen goods

Maryz · 30/12/2017 13:13

Most people's first thought might not be to give it back (though it would be for a lot of people).

But her first thought should certainly not have been "where can I find advice about how to take advantage of a theft" which it seems to have been.

I don't understand why anyone thinks it's ok for her to keep it, I really don't. And slave labour and factory conditions really has nothing to do with it.

ImNotDancing · 01/01/2018 12:26

but if you walked into the Superdry shop, picked up a hoody and walked out (which is what has essentially happened here) the Police would certainly be interested.

I can assure you, as someone whos worked in retail for many years, they probably wouldn't care

EmmaGrundyForPM · 01/01/2018 12:52

OP you are now knowingly handling stolen goods, even if you started off as innocent in all of this.

Please do the right thing here.

StepAwayFromGoogle · 01/01/2018 13:09

OP, how about doing the decent thing and taking it back into Superdry? Explain that it was reported not delivered but later turned up and you want to do the right thing and bring it back. I realise it was your uncle that screwed them over but he's an arsehole for doing it. Theft like this means wages are lower for staff, the delivery man may have been fined and all our goods are more expensive. Makes. Me. So. Angry. If you can't afford it, don't buy it. I'd say something to your uncle along those lines.

ImNotDancing · 01/01/2018 16:30

taking it back to the store won't make a difference to the head office or warehouse stock. If OP were to truly return it it should be posted back as they are usually separate entities and it would just mess up the store's stocktake

WeAllHaveWings · 01/01/2018 17:33

When I put returns back to Next directory in store they just scan the tag and know it’s to refund my account. I’ve no idea if that is the same elsewhere if returning in store.

BusterGonad · 01/01/2018 17:59

Returning will not make an ounce of difference, it's now stock that doesn't exist and I strongly suspect that the staff won't accept it. Unless the op just leaves it like a reverse thief!

annielouise · 01/01/2018 18:39

"A person handles stolen goods if (otherwise than in the course of stealing), knowing or believing them to be stolen goods he dishonestly receives the goods, or dishonestly undertakes or assists in their retention, removal, disposal or realisation by or for the benefit of another person, or if he arranges to do so."

The OP is committing a crime, that of handling stolen goods. I wouldn't have called her it myself but I don't think it's for you, StrawBasket, to censure anyone that has called her scum. She's breaking the law. It's crime like this that cause prices for the rest of us to go up.

annielouise · 01/01/2018 18:40

It's also not a victimless crime if the courier has to pay out of his/her pocket.