To expect a thank you

[Appleandcinnamon]

It’s now the 27th December and I’m still waiting for my niece to thank me for her Christmas present. My sister in law’s children have never said thank you and today this time (because of other things that side of the family have done over Christmas) I am apoplectic with rage. We stopped buying for my nephew once he turned 18 and apparently that’s a horrendous thing to do as he feels left out. I don’t expect a gushing thank you letter but a bloody text to say cheers is the very least. Both of mine have thanked my sil for their gifts.

I’ve got to see that part of the family tomorrow and I don’t actually think I can speak to them without flipping out about everything they have done over the last few days that’s pissed me off

Yanbu, it costs nothing to have good manners. It's a huge wind up to not get a thankyou. My nieces have form for this, really all it would take is a bit of guidance from the parents. I bet my kids would be the same if it weren't for the fact i instill in them the importance of thanking someone who's gone to the trouble of buying them a present.

I'm not sure people thank anymore tbh

No, no. Your friends and family might be outrageous enough to not write cards or at the least say thank you, but please don’t generalise - we weren’t all dragged up.

I don’t think YABU, ds (8) text sil to say thank you for his money but sil never gets her children to text and say thank you to us...

I don't really expect thank yous; I don't give to receive, I give because I love my family and friends and want to show my love. I know my family are busy, new babies arrive this year, houses have been bought and are being renovated and some of them are just really forgetful!

But we love each other regardless and forgetting a thank you shouldn't drive a wedge.

We give cash to older DNs (3 of them aged up to 25) and buy a "proper" present for the youngest. I also buy "proper" present for my goddaughter and my cousin's children whom I'm very close to.

YANBU to expect some kind of thank you. I would be pissed off if the kids didn't acknowledge the gift in some way, but a verbal thanks is fine. My goddaughter always writes a sweet note that lives on the fridge until the next one.

Yanbu to expect a thank you but I would leave it for at least a week. Our nieces never ever said thank you let alone write a letter which we made ours do when they were younger. We rarely buy for nieces/nephews now as we don't see them regularly and they rarely send a thank you. We usually stop buying presents at 18 too. Don't get apoplectic, just don't buy for them in the future. It is bad manners though not to acknowledge the gift in some way.

ginswinger I don't give to receive either. But to every year send gifts and never have a thank you, is not okay. It is extremely rude.

@GrrrHotdogs "Our family stopped buying presents at 21. I instigated it as my parents were spending too much money on their grandchildren. As I had the eldest kids it was easy for me to suggest it."

Did you suggest that they carried on until all the other grandchildren reached the age your DC were though? Because if not then that's really quite unfair on the other children of the family.

Sounds like there is back story and it's much more than the thankyou issue. I don't think anyone would get this upset by folk who generally behave decently but are a bit rubbish at thankyous. Don't let it ruin any more of your Xmas op. Have a good new year xx

Stopping presents at 28 is normal in our family too. Otherwise how long do you go on for? Into their thirties? When they don't buy anything back?!

18, not 28...typo