To move in with my dad?

[passemoilevin]

He said if I find a grad job up north/ Scotland (where he's from) when I finish uni, then he'll lend me the deposit for a 3 bed for me, him and my 2yo.

After a few drinks on Christmas Day, we discussed the logistics. The main thing playing on my mind is that I'm 24, and eventually hope to meet someone lovely, live with them, get married and have more children. He said no problem, if that happened he'd move out and sort a repayment plan. House would be in my name. House would have to be up north/ Scotland due to the amount I could borrow on 30kish as a single parent with a dependant. We currently live in a very expensive city in the SE.

He's not a well off man, he got left this money a few years ago as inheritance. He doesn't have a well paid job and is in his late-50s, so couldn't buy somewhere himself. He said that if only my mum would let him live with her, he'd give me and my sister 20k each (his entire inheritance) for a house deposit. But they've separated and she wouldn't do that.

So, I love him very much. He's the most brilliant dad and grandad, my daughter worships him and vice versa. She's his absolute world. I know he'd be heartbroken if we moved far away without him. I love hanging out with him and we get on really well.

Plus I guess I'm pretty lonely, and he definitely is. I'd happily sit at home and watch the soaps with him etc. Although he can be quite untidy and expect things done for him - I guess that's a bit of a worry. But he may have got better after living by himself for a few years since the separation with my mum.

He helps me loads with childcare now, and if we lived together it'd obviously be easier for him to help more - like now, he helps on the day I work till 8pm - I think this is enough so I would never ask him to help so I could go out with friends/ on a date. So I don't, ever. But if he lived with me and DD was in bed, this would be a lot less of an ask. I could have a life again! I wouldn't expect this btw and if he wasn't happy to babysit in this manner that'd be fine too.

It seems like it'd work great for me, my dad and my daughter.

But, this is really unconventional isn't it? Is this a crazy idea; one that will lead to difficulties in the future? I probably couldn't buy by myself for a good 10-15 years, what with rent/ nursery fees swallowing up my income. If that - it really is very difficult for young single parents to get on the property ladder in this climate. From what I can see, the mortgage repayments are likely to be 300-400 a month, ATM I pay 1100. So could save so so so much, and with that spare money I could pay him back? I'm not sure he even wants that.

Rambling I know - sorry. I've had wine and am really excited about this opportunity but just don't know if it's for the best.

the mortgage repayments are likely to
be 300-400 a month

You won’t get a lot of mortgage for that, esp if you’re looking at a 3 bed. I wouldn’t imagine it would be somewhere very nice, even in Scotland.

We live 3 generations in one house and it works just fine. I would suggest if you cannot have a sitting room each then giving your dad the largest bedroom. Then he has somewhere to retreat to when he needs a break from the toddler or you want friends round or play dates.

But also spend some time sorting out the other bedrooms so you can happily spend time in them. Basically make sure you are using the whole house to its best and not some parts for sleeping only.

I work from home, she runs a small business from home and the kids are home educated so our house has to do lots.

We have not found new relationships difficult - we are mature enough to give each other space etc. The only problem we have going forward is there is simply not enough room for another child so the arrangement will have to come to an end then.

We did it as my daughter was a single parent and when her landlord sold the property and she looked for a new place the rents were so high she would have struggled to cover rent and live. Certainly the children's quality of life would have been so poor any loss of independence seemed a small price to pay to prevent your children going hungry.

We know of 3 other people who have made the same decision for the same reason over the last couple of years so I think it is going to become more and more common.

I think it sounds wonderful. Your dd will benefit hugely from being with her gf, you'll get help with childcare, your df will get company.
It's absolutely win win
Just be sure that he will not expect you to do the wife work...
I lived with my dps when dds little and again when divorcing, it was some of the best times of my life and my adult dds have a very close relationship with their gps