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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go and have lunch with friends tomorrow

32 replies

Scabbersley · 27/12/2017 19:02

As they have arranged with dh to meet at a pub nearly 2 hours drive away. I spend all week driving around and really really don't want to to do this. Even if dh drives it's a bloody long way.

OP posts:
WhatKatyDidnt · 27/12/2017 19:03

The time to decline has been and gone...

MirriVan · 27/12/2017 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tapandgo · 27/12/2017 19:06

Let him go and you stay home. Problem solved surely?

KathArtic · 27/12/2017 19:09

What's that? D & V? better stay home.

Allabitmuchisntit · 27/12/2017 19:14

Suppose you've got to weigh up the drive and how much you want to see your friends?
You might really enjoy yourself despite the drive?

Original poster
Scabbersley · 27/12/2017 19:22

He has said it's fine h can go without me. I love the friends and I want to see them, just feel pissed off that they've picked a pub 30 mins from them and 2 hours from us!

OP posts:
littlepoppett · 27/12/2017 19:29

Can't you suggest another pub? Call in the morning to book. You can make up some excuse - something going on that means you can meet up but it will have to be somewhere closer because of time.

Neverender · 27/12/2017 20:04

Sorry but ample time has passed for you to mention this, no?

RemainOptimistic · 27/12/2017 20:10

Have a nap in the car Hmm

YANBU to be pissed off the pub isn't halfway.

Original poster
Scabbersley · 27/12/2017 20:11

No, it was arranged at about 6pm today!

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 27/12/2017 20:12

Two hours really isn't far at all, do you not like your friends?

Original poster
Scabbersley · 27/12/2017 20:13

I love my friends. I spend all week driving for work. I don't want to spend 4 hours in the car tomorrow.

OP posts:
64BooLane · 27/12/2017 20:15

Four hours of driving for the sake of lunch is a bit much. YANBU

LemonShark · 27/12/2017 20:16

Just text them and be honest? Say exactly what your last post said here. And have the name of a nice pub midway in mind to suggest instead. decent friends won't mind splitting the distance at all so it's 1 hr 15ish for both sides.

GreenRut · 27/12/2017 20:17

4 hours round trip and 1 for them? It would be a no from me. However, if you or dh were particularly passive/ downright not proactive in finding a place that suited you all more equally then you can't complain (though I would still silently seethe!)

FilledSoda · 27/12/2017 20:19

Don't let your dh go alone, I'm sure he would rather have your company for the 4 hours.
If arrangements were only made this evening can't the venue be changed to somewhere a bit fairer on everyone?
I wouldn't want to be a car for 4 hours either

ATeardropExplodes · 27/12/2017 20:20

Find somewhere in the middle and text them back now.

user1497997754 · 27/12/2017 20:20

Just be honest say you are really tired and need to catch up on some ME time

GreenPurpleRed · 27/12/2017 20:24

Why were pp saying 'ample time' to decline amd she'd missed the boat to do sp before OP confirmed actually there wasn't ample time Confused

Yanbu OP.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 27/12/2017 20:25

I cancelled a lunch today for exactly the same reason. A 4 hour round trip for a shitty Chinese buffet and I can't even have a drink. All my family too fucking tight and lazy to host and I've been hosting for years but have had enough now

Dozer · 27/12/2017 20:27

Why did your H think the arrangement was reasonable? Did he consult you before agreeing to the arrangement for that location to meet up? Seems an unfair travel split.

Chewbecca · 27/12/2017 20:39

Just suggest a better located pub?

Kintan · 27/12/2017 21:58

If it was only arranged a few hours ago, surely you can just text them back now and either say your DH made a mistake and you can't make it, or suggest somewhere half-way?

MirriVan · 27/12/2017 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Scabbersley · 27/12/2017 22:04

Dh arranged it

I can't go anyway as dd is ill and has taken a turn for the worseand I have to take her into hospital!

OP posts:
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