Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think SIL is a CF

64 replies

subsy1a · 27/12/2017 00:03

I booked a home visit from Santa for today as a surprise for my children. My DB and SIL knew this. SIL and her little girl turned up five minutes before Santa was due to arrive. "Just thought it would be nice for [DN] to meet Santa as well. Is she a CF?

OP posts:
Witchend · 27/12/2017 00:54

Yes, it's cheeky.

Yes, it might have been nice to ask dn along too. But sometimes it is nice to have something just your little family. There are some things we do that we'd be totally happy for others to join. Other things it's nice to have just us. Similar I have for the dc certain things that I tend to do with only one of mine, and the others wouldn't ask to come along as they know it's special for that one.

And maybe if she'd asked sil she would then feel she should ask half a dozen other relatives as well.

BenLui · 27/12/2017 00:54

Stop telling your SIL your plans.

citychick · 27/12/2017 00:54

Yes, she is a CF.
Yes, it’s a little strange to have Santa on Boxing Day, but it’s obviously a service offered.

I don’t think you are mean not inviting your niece. It would have been a nice thing to do, but as you say, it didn’t cross your mind.

I think the lesson here is don’t tell anyone these things. As you say, she knew so had to act on it.

Just forget it and move on...

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 27/12/2017 00:56

Why did you arrange it for Boxing Day? What was the point as they have had their presents etc so no asking him for what they want etc...this is weird.

SpareASquare · 27/12/2017 01:06

I'm still Confused at the 'home visit' from Santa on BOXING DAY! Was it so they could thank him for all his hard work the day before? Or to get the jump on next year? LOL

Whatever the reason Santa had a 'home visit' to your home, I'd have invited DN for sure.

WhatWot · 27/12/2017 01:27

Is this such a big deal? It's Christmas, what's wrong with making another little girl happy?

Shadow666 · 27/12/2017 01:31

I’m guessing it’s cheaper on Boxing Day, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I agree it’s weird you didn’t invite them in the first place. The relationship sounds a bit competitive somehow.

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 27/12/2017 08:46

She's definitely a CF, even if it would have been nice to invite her. I had similar, only it was to an event which I had booked and paid for. A relative wanted to get her DC a ticket and send her with us, she wasn't even going to get herself a ticket. As awful as I felt I refused, although she didn't accept the refusal until the day arrived and she realised I wasn't going to back down.

The reason she didn't want to buy a second ticket for herself was because her DD Is 10 and she didn't want to waste her money if DD didn't still believe in Santa. I have 2 young DC and the event was huge and busy, I just didn't want the responsibility of someone else's child.

Sometimes you have to really spell things out for some people. You're not obliged to invite others to things you plan for your own DC. I'm future I'd either tell her straight from the start or hide it and don't tell her anything.

Theresnonamesleft · 27/12/2017 08:52

What happens on the home visit from Santa?
Never heard of this.

So next year I have to organise
Elf on the shelf - to bring gifts daily
Advent calendar- preferably home made
Christmas Eve hamper - pj’s, dvds, got chocolate
Home visit from Santa

What else do I miss?

Funko · 27/12/2017 09:01

theres
A partridge in a pear tree?
Grin

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 27/12/2017 09:03

What's a CF?

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 27/12/2017 09:04

Ahh yes sorry am being slow - Cheeky Fucker of course 🙄😁

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 27/12/2017 09:05

And yes she is OP

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/12/2017 09:08

She was rude to just show up, she should have suggested it first. Did it in anyway spoil the experience? Did it cost any more? Maybe you should let this one go.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 27/12/2017 09:11

There are some tight people on here!! No she's not a CF. You were a bit of a rubbish aunt though. Trying to imagine my ds doing this and not inviting my lot. Wouldn't happen! If it did would I rock up 5 mins before?? Absolutely Grin

DeStijl · 27/12/2017 09:15

Wait what? A home visit from Santa? On boxing day?

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/12/2017 09:16

Theresnonames

I’m applying to be your adopted kid. I’m expecting my 5 (solid) gold rings, ok?!!

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/12/2017 09:17

Yes she was a cf.

LML83 · 27/12/2017 09:20

sil is rude to turn up without invite. You or dh are rude for telling sil without inviting your DN.

wednesdayswench · 27/12/2017 09:20

Eh? Santa on Boxing Day?

SugarPlumLairy · 27/12/2017 09:25

All the people saying you were being mean... no. Just no. You did nothing wrong having a special moment with your family. She IS a CF.

I know several CF's andit seems like EVERY time I try to do something nice for DD it is tainted by their grabby, greedy involvement.

No I don't want their CF kid tagging along, I don't want to have to divide my attention between my additional needs girl and their Wild bratty child that even they admit they can't control.
I don't want to have to host/entertain/pay extra for YOUR CF spawnto have an experience at the expense of my child's enjoyment.

If there was reciprocity, maybe it wouldn't be so bad but to gatecrash/tag along and then usually put constraints on the day.." oh CF child doesn't like eating there lets do this instead, or CF child is desperate to do this not that, lets not go gift shop as I've got no cash for my CF spawn so you'll have to pay if they want anything etc"

Those of us with CF's in our life are dyinga death by a thousand papercuts. One isolated incident makes us look mean and overeactive but when you add them all together you'd be hard pushed to even be willing to give them the steam off your p...coffee 😒

Hope your kids had a good time.

metalmum15 · 27/12/2017 09:25

Wtf? Santa does home visits? Do you have to offer him coffee and mince pies? Or is he getting left over turkey sandwiches?

mumof2sarah · 27/12/2017 09:26

I'd have invited DN especially if there wasn't any added cost BUT she's wrong to just turn up with her, she should have called and asked first x

ButteredScone · 27/12/2017 09:28

Too weird.

Cleanermaidcook · 27/12/2017 09:39

Well she was cheeky to just turn up yes but how did the conversation go in the first place as you say they knew he was coming? did they indicate at the time they would like dn to see Santa too?