Another MIL one (sorry) - photo book

[PhotoFauxPas]

Name changed for this one

MIL makes a photo book every year as a Christmas gift. This goes to DH, his siblings and (I think) a number of elderly relatives that we don't see often. This year, amongst many many photographs on many many pages there are 2 (admittedly quite small) full frontal nude pics of my pre-school age DC. One in the bath, the other in our house while they were playing dress up. I took both of these photos and sent them to DH family whatsapp group. They are both quite funny/cute IMO which is why I sent them.

I felt sick when I came across them in the book. I don't feel at all comfortable with this. I know its overwhelmingly likely that these books don't get much attention from their recipients but I just feel really uncomfortable with people I don't know looking at pics of my naked DC.

DH doesn't respond well to criticism of his family. He says he is ok with these photos being in the book. I'm now questioning whether I am over-reacting. For background, in last year's book there were pics of all the grandchildren (including my DC) standing up in the bath where bare bottoms were visible beneath some bubbles. I didn't feel great about this but didn't say anything.

I haven't contacted MIL yet as didn't want to kick up a fuss on xmas day/boxing day.

I'm just wanting to gauge how others would feel about this so I can work out how to approach it with MIL? What I really want to do is ask her to try to remove these pages from all the books she has given out but I suspect this is a massive over reaction.

I wonder whether it is worth mentioning it at all or whether I can just prevent this happening again by not sending naked pics in future. Is this all my fault in the first place?

WWYD?

When we stay with PIL all the grandchildren jump in the bath together and if I want to stop them taking photos I would surely have to explain why

Then explain why - i don't understand why you'd have to question this.
You have a parental duty to safeguard your dc's privacy, you don't feel comfortable with nude pics of them being taken/being out there.
They might not like to hear this but tough shit - they have to respect your decision regarding your dc.

I'd say that there's nothing you can do about this year's book now BUT you need to have a family conversation about safeguarding. It doesn't need to be in an accusatory way so no feelings need to be hurt, just start the conversation by saying you've been reading online about the damage sharing naked pics can do (or similar opening comment) then lay the ground rule that you will not be taking naked pics of the kids and you will not be allowing others to do so either. I'm guessing that parents of the other grandchildren will be quite relieved that you've raised this.

Before you share ANY photo of your children in any way whatsoever, stop and ask yourself if you are 100% sure they will be happy with this when they are 18. If not, don't share. Nobody is going to suffer by not seeing thousands of photos of your children.

don’t allow in laws to take photos in bathroom and I don’t send them any. People of that generation don’t really understand so I made that a rule when they were young
I do wish people would stop spouting this type of generational nonsense , I’m old enough to have GC , my eldest dc is mid 20s and I knew 25 yrs ago that it wasn’t the right thing to take naked photos of him and share them about .

Just say in about a months time ‘oh I was looking at your lovely photo book dmil. So great. It has made me think though, they’re getting older so we’d better all stop taking photos of them naked and including them in book or sending them electronically. Is that okay? Great, thanks, doesn’t it get more complicated when they get older / I know, it’s not how it was in the olden days etc etc.

BUT. Recipients of book would have to copy the pages or carry big photo book around with them in order to disseminate the pictures within. You on the other hand have just had a salutary lesson on how quickly electronic images, shared on an encrypted site with a small group of people you trust, can get out of that group and be used without your permission in a way you don’t approve of. Thank goodness it was just a family photo book really!

Why on earth are you taking and sending pictures of your naked children in the first place?

In the eyes of the law, regardless of quantity, it could be classed as "making and distributing indecent images"

You've every right to be angry at your in law's but you should never be taking naked photos of your children and sharing them.

By you doing this, they've already been shared to a wider circle than you shared with.

Who knows who else will see that photo book?

I know there is a MN split on this, but it’s one of the reasons I ask a child’s permission before sharing a photo with others.