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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tobhave made my husband two drinks this morning

73 replies

Deckerblue · 26/12/2017 20:08

Boxing Day morning ...
I'm heading off to work...

Rushing around sorting out the out DD. DH has a cold. Every morning we have a coffee , but as he has a cold I made him a lemsip and a coffee.

He said aggressively WTF do I want to drink a pint of lemsip and coffee before I get in the shower, have you never made lemsip before?! And proceeded to tip the coffee down the sink saying I've wasted it.

All through my day at work I've pondered what the hell I have done wrong. I text him saying I expect an apology for your actions this morning and he said "Wot fucking planet do u live on where u think I've got time to let a pint of boiling lemsip to cool and drink, then drink another pint of coffee"

The "pint" he is referring to , is that all our normal size cups were in the dishwasher , the only cups left we had were tall ones. Which I didn't fill up to the top anyway.

I'm feeling quite upset actually. Just want some AIBU to have made him two, albeit larger, drinks?

OP posts:

Original poster

Deckerblue · 26/12/2017 21:58

I really appreciate your comments

I'm doing a lot of thinking that s evening whether I'm prepared to have someone treat me so negatively when I was trying to do a nice thing.

I'm pretty sure this type of situation has happened before, I can't think straight at the moment due to the prosecco (hic!!) but I'm sure I've done similar kind things before and it get thrown back in my face where I think to myself .... if I HADNT have done that , this wouldn't be happening. Or would it ?!

OP posts:

Goodgirl7 · 26/12/2017 22:00

He sounds like a twat. If he was my husband the next hot drink I ever made would be prepared specifically to pour over his tiny balls.

Original poster

Deckerblue · 26/12/2017 22:02

I'm generally a kind person, I'm quite generous and like my family to be well fed and watered , so me rushing around This morning trying to get out to work but still ensuring that DD had her drink and DH had two fucking drinks, that's just my way of making sure everyone is settled and happy before I leave.

It's been a real kick in the teeth having it thrown back in my face ..

I'm thinking of my lovely DD in bed now, who is equally very kind natured and if anyone ever treated her like that I'd kill have them!

OP posts:

diddl · 26/12/2017 22:02

I think that making the 2 drinks was odd.

That said, the way he spoke to you was just nasty.

roomsonfire · 26/12/2017 22:06

He probably was stressed at the thought of looking after DD , post Xmas, with a cold.

dont let this be an excuse for his shit OP.

I'm asthmatic, have my regular monthly migraine and other PMT symptoms plus a fuck awful virus that started in my ear and has spread to my lungs. I've been ill for 3 days straight and still managed to pull xmas together and Not once have I acted like a complete dick... unless you count venting at unreasonable guests on FB.

Mazzystarlett · 26/12/2017 22:10

You are a better person than me. I would've gone back to the kitchen, mixed the two together and handed it straight back, whilst calling him an ungrateful bastard. Is he always this charming?

meredintofpandiculation · 26/12/2017 22:16

But that's why I made the drinks. To make it easier. When all it's done is made the whole day harder , and when I get home from work it's all just fucking shit. No, making the drinks hasn't made the whole day harder, it's your DH who has done that.

Don't even think of blaming yourself. If you'd done him a coffee he'd have complained that you were ignoring his cold, if you'd done him just a lemsip he'd have complained about the lack of coffee.

HermionesRightHook · 26/12/2017 22:22

For perspective my husband would have summoned all his remaining strength and said "thank you love" in the tiniest voice he could muster. I know this because I've done exactly the same as you before leaving the ailing lamb to his sickness while I went to work.

Your husband is a rude twat who does not need to be making such a fuss. "thanks babe but I won't drink both" is am that's needed to say.

Tipsntoes · 26/12/2017 22:25

Two drinks isn't weird. When Dh asked me if he could get me anything this morning whimpered "said a cup of tea and a Lemsip please". You need something to wash the foul tasting Lemsip down.

To still be being horrid about it now is more than worrying.

Mustang27 · 26/12/2017 22:25

I can be really shitty when I'm ill but I'd realise pretty quickly I was being an arse an apologise. You say there is a back story and he is often picking petty arguments. I'd have just told him to fuck off tbh and that I was trying to be nice but next time I won't bother just let him look after himself from now on.

throwawaythekey · 26/12/2017 23:09

Why would you even need to ask if YBU!? Surely that sort of overreaction is a twat move by anyone's standard???

Motoko · 26/12/2017 23:40

I couldn't drink a coffee after drinking a Lemsip. They wouldn't mix well in my stomach and would make me throw up.

However, if my husband had made me those two drinks, I'd have explained that I'd just drink the Lemsip, and why, while also thanking him for making them for me. Then he would have said, "Well, I didn't know which you'd have preferred, so I made you both, so you could choose". And then I'd have thanked him again and said I appreciated it.

I know this, because he's done something very similar for me (but with an orange flavour laxative drink and a cup of tea) and that's exactly how it played out.

Your husband is a dick. What he said was nasty and completely unnecessary, and if this is a common occurrence, it might be an idea to give some serious thought to whether you still want to be with him this time next year.

Don't let him grind you down.

InSearchOfAPear · 26/12/2017 23:47

Has he got other worries or has your relationship broken down. He's being a dick and I would be worried at his lack of respect for you. Leave the twat!

WhataLovelyPear · 26/12/2017 23:51

Read up on abusive relationships - it doesn't have to be actual violence. If this is regular he is being abusive. ExDH was like this to me and I was so used to it I couldn't see how bad it was.

ButchyRestingFace · 26/12/2017 23:57

I'm looking on MN for opinions, but really, if it was me and I had a cold and he was going to work and I had to look after DD alone , and he made ME a coffee and a lemsip, I'd think he was the best DH ever and I would never even think about complaining about it.

Presumably your husband likes coffee and can at least tolerate Lemsip, OP?

If my hypothetical life partner made me the above, I’d be irritated bemused because I can’t abide either of them.

Doubt I’d be as sustainedly rude as him though. The fact he’s carrying it on into evening doesn’t bode at all well.

RamblinRosie · 27/12/2017 02:24

When I last had a steaming cold my DH brought me a large coffee and a Limsip, I couldn't have been more grateful and I said so.

Even when he cooks something I don't really like I'd never criticise, because when he does these things for me , because I know he means well.

To lash out at someone who's trying to do something nice for you shows mean spiritedness and a complete lack of empathy, do you really want a life like this?

Lucylululu · 27/12/2017 03:15

What a disgusting man!

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 27/12/2017 03:24

@Deckerblue this is the type of thing my hubby has done. Yes they don’t go well together but i say thank you and drink one or the other instead of both. You sound very caring, you need to point out your worth and feel appreciated

BattleCunt · 27/12/2017 03:43

Well he sounds like a right barrel of crusty wanksocks. I'd tell him to piss off.

Original poster

Deckerblue · 27/12/2017 06:37

*Presumably your husband likes coffee and can at least tolerate Lemsip, OP?

If my hypothetical life partner made me the above, I’d be irritated bemused because I can’t abide either of them.

Doubt I’d be as sustainedly rude as him though. The fact he’s carrying it on into evening doesn’t bode at all well*

Me & DH love coffee we never go a morning without it, particularly on our days off it's just part of the usual morning routine , two coffees and a cup of milk for DD, before anything else happens that day!

And as for lemsip I'm not a huge fan but he is , when he has a cold he doesn't miss a dose .

I was just trying to be thoughtful and it's backfired.

I've woke up feeling really miserable

OP posts:

Original poster

Deckerblue · 27/12/2017 06:39

Those top theee paragraphs were supposed to be bold on reply to @ButchyRestFace

OP posts:

buckeejit · 27/12/2017 09:23

I don't think I'd ever make him a drink again after that.

As it's not an isolated event it seems that he might have anger issues. But you didn't do anything remotely anger worthy. He is your spouse & is supposed to treat you better than anyone else in the world.

If anyone said this to me after making them drinks, let alone dh, I would have a very hard time forgiving & certainly would see them in a different light from then on. I'm not surprised you're sad.

EmilyChambers79 · 27/12/2017 09:44

It's not rocket science either is it? If you're feeling shit, you'd drink the Lemsip first and maybe a few mouthfuls of coffee if you had time.

There was no need for his reaction.

In future, use the lemsip tablets. He can wash them down with his coffee then and won't have to act all precious over two hot drinks!

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