To think no gifts for adults is the best option?

[cathf]

I have just spent an hour or so reading MN this morning and am amazed at the amount of moaning and whinging from adults about the gifts they recieved.
AIBU to think a no gifts for adults policy is the way forward?

I think the problem is lack of communication. I can't believe some of these relationships. Men who do nothing and women who put up with it.

No

I agree.

I asked my parents to not get me anything. They didn’t listen and bought me yet another present I neither want nor need.
It is depressing to have to take stuff people have spent money on to the charity shop and if I ask for the receipt my mum would have a fit.
Next year I will be much more vocal about not wanting anything.

@HRTPatch

"I think the problem is lack of communication."

99% of all AIBUs right there.

For many I think it would be best.

The amount of people whining that spends didn't match, their gifts weren't good enough, someone else got more is astounding. I'm surprised many still give tbh.

I suspect in the cases between spouses it's just another flaw in the relationship that's highlighted by Christmas.

I agree. I buy myself anything I want or need. I don't need any more stuff. I feel like I'm drowning in it!

Id have thought, no thoughtless gifts for adults would be the way forward to be honest.

There aren’t any children in my immediate family so Xmas would be a bit sad and bereft if that was the case. Agree with the poster above who said it’s about communication. Or just not complaining - MIL who I have known for 20 years bought me some generic bath stuff in a scent I don’t really care for. But she’s old & infirm & doesn’t do online shopping so it’s kind of her to think of me and buy me a gift set from Tesco - I have lowered my expectations in line with the way things are in our family these days.

Seeing my mum today & just as I have bought her gin, Jo Malone stuff & a voucher for a shop she loves, I expect something that I will love from her, as she knows me well, pays attention, and is much more able to get out of the house and shop, buy online etc.

We don't buy for adults. Much easier.

Yanbu! I loved all my presents and the ones I gave were carefully chosen and seemed well received.

YABU. I have a child free Christmas and love spoiling my parents. I'm their only child and still their "child" despite being 27 and they like spoiling me. We usually get things we want/or need. Presents aren't the only part of Christmas but we get pleasure from them beyond the day.

I think people should give with more consideration.

Oh we do get stuff for grandparents as they do so much for us. Just not brothers and sisters and in-laws.

Yes.
There are lots of things I want and need, but they are either expensive or very specific.
I REALLY don't want chocolate, or bath stuff, or cheap jewellery I will never wear.
I find the whole spend spend spend aspect of Xmas stressful and depressing, and would prefer the whole thing toned right down- just the lights and the nice roast dinner, some mince pies, wine and board games etc.
I told everyone adult please no presents but still got lots of tat. It's such a waste.
Best thing about yesterday was when everyone had gone and I FINALLY finished cleaning up, and sat down to watch Call the Midwife with a whisky!
In fact I would like the type of austerity Christmases they have on CTMW...

Um, I meant yabu.

How bloody miserable.

Gifts are lovely to give and receive. Thankfully I'm not devoid of joy in adulthood. And I appreciate thoughtfulness.

We buy for adults, we receive presents as adults but through both families we have always agreed a budget and wrote a list and the buyer picks things off the list.

However writing lists to ask for things on here is considered very cheeky, then when you receive a present you don't like, you are ungrateful and based on that, presents should stop!

I’m semi in agreement, although I think partners and maybe parents if necssary.
Of course there are people who have neither, but parents and partner would work for our family.
We received so much tat that’s wasted - I really don’t want a wine glass that can fit a whole bottle of wine in, or a massive jar of retro sweets, I definitely don’t need a bell to ring if I need a prosecco (I hate prosecco anyway!). Just absolute tat.
Like a PP, there are things I want but they are really expensive and I’d never ask anyone to buy them for me. I don’t like clutter, I try to keep my house as clutter free as possible, I don’t want lots of cheap gadgets to find a way of disposing of, please just respect my wishes and don’t buy my anything, which is what I said at the time. I will still buy stuff for you!!

I agree. If I see something I want in the year I get it.

YABU

gifts aren’t the problem, lack of communication and unrealistic expectations of perfect Christmases is the problem

I’m an adult, I was grateful for all the gifts I received, even if they weren’t something I would’ve chosen myself I still appreciate that someone thought of me and gave me a gift they thought I’d like.

I’m an adult with no children in my immediate circle. It would’ve been a pretty miserable Christmas if I didn’t receive any gifts and didn’t give any gifts, just because we’re all adults

All the presents I have received have been lovely and there has been no moaning here so I don’t agree.

I think it's the entitlement and spoilt stamping of feet I struggle to get my head around.
I would NEVER complain about a present I have received, ever, no matter how cheap, ill-matched or unsuitable. I would just make a mental note to scale down the value of the present I bought next year, to keep roughly in line, purely because it's embarrassing if the value of the gifts are so far apart.
All this talk of putting stuff on EBay (today!), asking for receipts, making lists if what you don't want etc I find utterly shocking.
People are so materialistic now, and so utterly self-absorbed, or so it seems to me. You would expect your spouse, children and parents to know you well enough to buy a suitable gift, but to expect relative's -who have their own immediate families too - to take a lot of time to choose something special just for you is unbelievably self-obsessed.

We've done no gifts for adults for years, love it. None of us are single though. If any of us were, we would fix it so everyone gets a gift (probably a tenner limit and one gift for each couple or something).

I hate getting chocolate or anything with an artificial scent. The only time I get something different is if I provide a list. I already have 'no presents' agreement with most but they keep slipping back in!

YANBU I've just binned most of my presents, I hate receiving stupid things I don't need

Entitlement and spoiled stamping of the feet is indeed unpleasant. Adult behaviours have their roots in childhood, and we do children a service by role modelling thoughtful gift choosing (including the concept that the value of a gift has little to do with its monetary worth) and graceful acceptance of a gift, recognising it has been chosen with love even if the donor got it a little wrong this time.