To think no gifts for adults is the best option?

[cathf]

I have just spent an hour or so reading MN this morning and am amazed at the amount of moaning and whinging from adults about the gifts they recieved.
AIBU to think a no gifts for adults policy is the way forward?

I like chocolate.
I have all I need - lots of wants but a tumble dryer and a new kitchen are hardly things that could or should be surprise gifts.

Over packaged and over priced cosmetics and toiletries make me cringe at the waste. Like many females, I can't stand irritating fussy bits like handbags, scarves ,hats etc. Have enough ornaments and the odd bit of jewellery. Have all the gadgets I need. Books come from the library and i certainly don't want the novelty ones that will be straight to the charity shop. The books I have bought are hard to find.

So now you know me and can see why I'm in the no gift camp!

YANBU

gifts aren’t the problem, lack of communication and unrealistic expectations of perfect Christmases is the problem

This is spot on.

People are also capable of buying rubbish presents for children.

I think spending a fortune on presents for adults is daft, but I love giving, and getting presents. That said, I think I'm fairly easily pleased, as are most of my family.

Gifts are lovely to give and receive.

Gifts are torture to choose and a pointless waste to receive.

(Do you see that what you wrote is a statement of how you feel, and not a fact?)

Thankfully I'm not devoid of joy in adulthood.

People who enjoy/dislike different things to you are defective?

And I appreciate thoughtfulness

But you don't reciprocate: you insist on maintaining a custom that other people tell you makes them miserable?

The whole thing confuses me. As a grown adult with children I just love watching the kids reacting to their gifts. I've seen money, gift sets and God knows what else describes as "thoughtless" on here. If somebody had thought of you and put out money then it's not thoughtless even if it doesn't meet your standards.

I've never understood why our government gets away with such selfish heartless policies but reading the gift threads today has made me realise that there are a lot of unpleasant people out there.

If you are an adult who still
exchanges gifts then that's lovely but if you're an adult who exchanges gifts then spends the rest of the day huffing and bitching then yabu!

Bertie's, I agree. There is just something about a grown adult complaining about their gifts that is so unpleasant and spoilt.
Everyone seems to have sensitive skin and as for just binning gifts, well words fail me.

Why does my phone keep inserting apostrophes in the wring places?!

YABU. I am really grateful for all my presents and they are all going to benefit my self care. I put a lot of effort into choosing my family's presents and they were well received. Dbro lost his wallet earlier this year and hated the replacement he bought himself so I bought him a new one and a portable phone charger which he said was useful.

The replacement wallet he bought himself, he didn't like but he said he loved the new one.

Totally agree OP. It's mostly such a waste. I really don't see the point of adult presents. For me, the best part of Christmas is spending time with friends and family, nice food and general conviviality. I truly don't want to get any presents.

That's great Hunter, and that's the way it should be.
I suppose what I am open-mouthed about are the people who don't seem to even pretend to be happy with their gifts, as they think they are so special that everyone should spend lots of time choosing g something very special just for them.
How would you feel if your brother asked for the receipt for the wallet? That's the sort of thing I am taking about.

The only importance adults in my life I wouldn't consider buying for would be anyone as entitled and ungrateful as a loteam of people in this thread! BINNING presents?? Jesus Christ.

I got fancy tea and push gin and a book that looks good and some book tokens. And a meal out with dh voucher.
My family know I like tea and gin and books.
I earn averagely but don’t go out and buy posh tea and gin all year round so it’s a nice treat. Dinner will be great - we’ve six months to arrange it.
All lovely. And nobody bankrupt in the process.

We were both over the moon with our presents. We said the budget was £10.
I can't believe the people who are kicking off because they didn't get their specifically requested bracelet that they've badgered their DH about for months, or those who just hate the things their DH has gone out and chosen for them.
A bunch of grabby, self centred, childish 'adults' on here

I agree, this is what we do. Controls the madness somewhat. This culminated a few years ago when DH, BiL and PiL all just exchanged cheques for the same amount!

(Although as the person who puts in most of the effort for coordinating all other gifts, food, the entire world of Playmobil, parties, school events etc a little token gift would be appreciated. I think my 11am lie in today counted though! Marvellous things PlayStations....)

But i’d still rather “no adult gifts” than “elaborate and unappreciated gifts to everyone”

We're 'no adult presents' in this family and it works well for us. Other people do what works well for them. It's sad though to see all the 'unwanted gifts' in the charity shops (although its the best place for them) after Christmas. Doesn't say much for the 'buy gifts for everybody' route.

Do what you want. :)

Wineasaurus, THAT is exactly the kind of thread I was talking about. I must have missed that one

@cathf it really pissed me off reading it. Not to make this a TAAT but saying you've had a bad year as a couple and not getting that particular item has ruined Xmas just shows how immature and grabby people are.
If my relationship had been tested throughout the year, I'd much rather my DH spent time choosing something himself rather than fulfilling an order

YANBU the spoilt sounding grown ups I’ve seen on MN makes me feel really sad about Christmas. I appeal to those present moaners to spare a thought for those less fortunate, people have recently lost loved ones or have seriously ill family members and be bloody thankful for what you have in your life.

@Babynail

Would it have killed you to just wait and take your unwanted presents to a charity shop?

If it's smellies then women's refuges realy appreciate that kind of stuff.

Binning presents is really thoughtless behaviour.

I think it's ok to be a bit disappointed if someone ha brought you something you feel is not thoughtful (especially if you want out of your way to get them something you thought was perfect for them) but it's worth remembering that sometimes people are frazzled or just don't hit the mark. I don't think it's ok to moan or bitch though and not to bin them. Can't they go to charity shops, or in the case of smellies the food bank. For me I like to shop.and find a great match for someone (sometimes I bet it's not been as well received as I thought but my friends and family have good manners in the main)

I dont like the idea of no presents for adults (why should we all suffer from bad communicators ) and not having children doesn't mean you can never have a gift again!

There are no children in my family so if we did this there'd be no presents at all! Everyone here was happy with their gifts .

I get a lot of joy from not working, eating nice food and watching happy kids. Another scented candle or gift I won't use doesn't bring me joy.

Flamingale The bin is closer. I don't buy presents and have asked people not to buy for me. I hated the presents and actually quite enjoyed throwing them in the bin with all the other rubbish.