To want to shout FUCK OFF WORLD

[pieceofpurplesky]

Today has been shit. DS has MH issues and whilst usually great he has a major meltdown today. I did all the cooking, cleaning, present buying etc. so am knackered (single Mum with elderly parents that I care for). Work full time as a teacher and finished on Friday.
Lovely morning, cooking went well, late lunch perfect until dessert when meltdown happened. He is 13 and suffers from depression and mood swings and one just appeared from nowhere. I just wanted a lovely day.
He is eventually asleep and I had a browse through Facebook. There is a group of women I know quite well who had all posted. Fuck off with your - 'ah lovely day with the hubster', 'love this one' 'feeling blessed', 'so spoilt' , 'amazing day with the fam' and all that shit. Every woman I know seemed to get a pandora charm which they are cooing over like hubster is the only man in the world to think of it!
Then there's the 'love my angels' (or angles as someone put).
So aibu that I think these women are lying - Christmas Day is hard work (I know them well enough to know their darling hubsters will not have lifted a finger to help the cooking as they were all moaning about it last week).
I don't get it at all.
Feel better for the rant!

One of the many reasons me and DH don’t do Facebook.

Hope you have a better day tomorrow. Christmas is an overwhelming day for children (and adults too!)

pieceofpurplesky come here for a hug. I've got a severely depressed, anxious ten year old who has just come down with noro (which she caught from her brother) and is due to see a psychiatrist on Friday because she keeps threatening to kill herself.

Last year I spent Christmas in hospital with DS following emergency surgery on his poor wee balls (testicular torsion) so I'm happy we're all at home tonight. I'm double happy that my SIL sent me a bottle of gin!

I have to say my Christmas this year was perfect in every way, as was the run up to it.

But previous Christmases have involved the arrest of a family member, me so sick with flu that I ended up in hospital on Christmas Day, kids sick with flu and ear infections, lost luggage (I’m an ex pat) and no clothes to wear when arriving on Christmas Eve etc. etc.

So I feel your bloody, want-to-throw-something-hefty pain. I hope that next year’s festivities run a lot more smoothly.

In our house we call it “Fakebook”

If you need to wean yourself off #soblessed fb, can I suggest getting rid of the push on your phone, and any app... I have to go to a web page to look at it, and for me that level of removal is all I need...i can go a month without checking but then have a week off it if there's an event or whatever..

Meanwhile, sounds as if you had a normal crap day, which you would've had rights to rant about in any other week. The fact that it was also Christmas day is just horrible. I hope your got some peace from reading supportive ms posts, and were able to ignore the idiot one.

Hope boxing day is better. followed by

Fake book indeed, generally I like fb as I have family and friends widely spread across the globe and it does make it easier to stay in touch but people rarely post to say what a crappy time they're having on days like today.

Take a break from it if needed. You did well to get through most of the day ok. Focus on that and I'm guessing that as you have a diagnosis he is getting help, are you? Because it's hard for you too.

@splinterez
I've never asked thus before.... But is your problem?

OP has a family. You misjudged her out of the gates .
Odd....Very odd.....

what is....

Splinterz you seem to be one of the most unpleasant people on here.

You know how to make Xmas perfect? STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT PERFECT!! It's a really easy day that way. Presents. A roast dinner and some tv. Boom. Done. And stop worrying about what other people have put on on Facebook. In fact, don't go on FB on Xmas Day at all. Double Boom!

I've had a lovely day. I pottered around the kitchen, I didn't worry for a second if the kids were disappointed with their presents (because, seriously?! If they were, they would need to give their heads a wobble because there are a million gazzilion people worse off than them) and I did 6 loads of laundry. And now we're chilling out in front of the tv, glowing in the bask of our love for each other also known as discreetly Mumsnetting and I suspect the kids are Snapchatting their friends

Splinterz is jus trying to get its posts deleted on as many threads as possible

I hope that's what it is, she always seems to have an issue with the OP..

But OP of this thread, please ignore the Fb bollocks. There's so much pressure to have a lovely Christmas and do what every one else does.
Christmas for many families isn't perfect or easy.

Hasn't Splinterz been acting like a a professional cunt lately? Ignore it.

On the other hand OP, I'd be wearing my lip out sneering at "hubster" and "so blessed". Really.

Sorry your day went tits up for a while and wish you all the best for the rest of (this) year and all of next.

Absolutely agree with neville my mum cancelled Christmas this year, I'm autistic and my sister has MH issues; it's massively stressful for both of us. Totally out of the routine.

Last year ended with both us in tears before lunch and her dad/my step dad in a foul mood. So mum went no not ok.
The perfect family Christmas just isn't for us, and do you know what that's ok.

Do what's right for your family rather than the expectations of what Christmas should be. If that's allowing your son to opt in and out, (which I'm sure you did) or keeping it low key then that's ok. Because that's your Christmas.

Don't give a second thought to what people are posting on Social media (cos yes their lying, they've probably had a massive row with said Hubs over the burnt/raw turkey, some one is probably as drunk as a skunk, the perfect toys are probably not working and the angels have probably spent the day trying to steal each other's presents) and their not your family they don't have to deal with the issues you gave to deal with.

Do what's a perfect as stress free as possible for you,

The weight of expectation is a terrible thing. Really Christmas is about pleasing yourself and enjoying time with nearest and dearest. And don’t believe all on Facebook. We all know plenty of people posting “perfect lives” or experience stuff when we know the backstory is somewhat different. I had a friend who was posting about her great Bali luxury holiday with their partner on FB but I was on the receiving end of panicked calls from hee at the same time , as her credit card had been declined and “wonderful” partner was refusing to bail her out and generally treating her awfully. The rest of the world wouldn’t have known but I knew the truth beyond the perfect image on FB. Take people’s FB postings with a pinch of salt, not the “narrative” they present to the world.

Delete Facebook

Its like someones fake diary. Dont waste your life reading peoples bullshit.

Second cunty post I've seen from a certain poster today.

I know one family who have the insta-shite so down that they literally had 3 or 4 generations of women in their family lined up for a matching pyjama photo.

Then they all had Christmas nails done...at home. All sitting in a bloody line, having matching nails in their fucking onesies.

I wanted to post a picture of the Handmaid's Tale...it looked bloody creepy!

I expect the men were all in "the study" swigging expensive brandy and chortling over the women's foibles.

OP: please rant away as we have all felt that at some point or another. Christmas can be sheer hell or a lovely day or something in-between but it is never perfect.

There’s so much expectation and bullshit around all these supposedly perfect Chrismases, no wonder it can be hard on people. OP among my friends and family over the years we’ve had, in no order of disaster: being left at home with aftermath of flu with no food in the house; big row with dh walking out while meal being prepared and family due to come round; massive row with siblings who didn’t do little tasks assigned, leaving the host to do everything with small children, two mothers/mils both with broken limbs and needing caring, the impending death of ds from cancer. That’s just from my small circle (not all me!). None of these things would have been posted on FB. Tbf I don’t have many of the #feelingblessed with hubster type friends either. Maybe you need a couple of more open friends. I have a small WhatsApp group where we share all our disasters as well as joys.

Hope the rest of the holiday period goes better. Is there any way you can get any treats for yourself before you go back to school. Even just a break reading a book, going for a walk, having a nice bath, whatever relaxes you. Caring responsibilities can be v draining and teaching is a v giving job as well. Sending you hugs.

Ack, I feel for you OP. That's a tough day.

Our Christmas day has been frigging hard work (a DC with profound SN) and it didn't finish until 1.30am when DC finally fell asleep. I am now awake and fretful. I have had a knot of panic in stomach throughout much of day not quite knowing how day would unfold. I haven't posted on Facebook today!

I have used the 'unfollow' function on Facebook quite a bit for people who annoy. This means you don't see people's posts in your newsfeed (or whatever it's called). If you go onto their page you can still see their posts, but you have to seek it out IYSWIM. They don't know you've 'unfollowed' them either so no awkward 'Why have you unfriended me?' comments.

I now have only people whose posts I enjoy reading in my newsfeed. Such an improvement. And - feel grateful that you are not a braggy FB poster (who can't even spell 'angel' pffft), one who is routinely so inauthentic that their Facebook life is set in a parallel universe.

Some of the most unpleasant people I know have almost wholly fictional Facebook accounts - where their posts focus on showing the actual opposite of reality to portray themselves in a good light. Eg writing about a kindness they have done an elderly person when I know they are actually stealing from them. I wonder if Facebook acts as some kind of psychological tool for such nobs to feel better about their reality by constantly spinning it? It's weird.

Hope the rest of the Christmas hol is better and you can eliminate the bullshitters from your FB feed. It's the way forward!

I really dislike Facebook. People just posting the good bits and happy memories for all to see. They have no place on a public forum, where others get the perception this is everyone else’s reality. Much better in a personal photo album.

While I sympathise with the OP's particular position, I take issue with what you post, Mummy

1. Why shouldn't people post their happy memories? What miserable/banal shit would be OK?
2. They are not for all to see, only the invited. Who choose to look.
3. They are not on a public forum - or don't you get what Facebook is?
4. If they get the perception that this is everyone's reality than they need to relax a bit and realise that that, er that moment is a reality for the poster, and stop generalising from the particular.
5. Personal photo album???? Isn't that what Facebook is for so many?

Disclaimer: Have been infertile, had cancer, been bereaved, and countenanced the sight of....other people having a life and posting about on Facebook.

And got on with my life.

I personally think people take fb posts too much to heart. Just scroll on by or don't go on! I personally don't think life is easy for anyone, but do you really want to see all the complaining an moaning on fb all the time? I mush prefer happy posts personally!

Your day sounds awful though and obviously you have bigger fish to fry than worrying about fb. I hope you can get some help for your 13 yr old. My 13 yr old has ASD and it certainly brings challenges too, with regular meltdowns. It isn't easy.

The funny thing is some people posting boast stuff on Facebook will think it’s been seen by the world....what they don’t understand that many of their “friends” will have unfollowed them and will not even see the shite they post or appreciate their blasts which end up being empty and for the benefit of no-one. Kind of Karma! Ignorance is bliss 😂