Friend is now 2 hours late

[cocoboots]

And she only lives a 5 minute walk away.
Invited her over for Xmas lunch as she' be on her own otherwise. She happily accepted. I said come over for 12.30, we'll have a drink and chat and food will be ready at 2pm.
She called at 1.30pm to say she was just getting dressed. I said ok, no problem. She said she'd be setting off before 2. Not worries I said.
It's now almost 3pm.
Food is sitting in the oven, starters have been out over half an hour .,,,
Aibu to say to my DP let's start without her ?!

coco you invite her for dinner, serve her a lovely meal and wine, give her a card and gift and she turns up late and empty handed??
Fuck that

Some people have no manners. No wonder she would have been on her own had you not been gracious enough to invite. As others have said, don’t offer again.

...to invite her...

Wouldn't invite her again.. how rude.

I'm with YouTheCat. I suspect she has worn out her welcome with others and I would not invite her again.

I am on my own this Christmas, through choice. I have, in the past been to friends and I would be on time, take a gift and expect to pitch in with the clear up/child/in law wrangling. Why go to someone's Christmas and not join in? It defeats the object imo. Give her a pair of rubber gloves and introduce her to the sink!

Sorry OP she's a selfish one and definitely not a real friend.

I think there's always lessons to learn about people and their behaviour especially around Christmas!

She didn't bring anything?

Okay I'm beginning to think she was late for no reason and is just rude and weird.

She brought nothing? How fucking rude! Don’t have her back again!

If have started at 2! Poor thing ... don't invite her again!

I see her leaving without any offer of washing up/stacking dishwasher !

She didn't even bring a dessert or a bottle of wine fir the meal?

I don’t know why you waited for her! It’s completely ridiculous that you held off your Christmas lunch for nearly an hour because she couldn’t get her arse in gear. Inexcusable, selfish behaviour. I hate to break it to you OP but, absent a bloody good excuse, she’s not the type of friend you need.

I think we can all see why she was going to be on her own this year.

An hour and half late for invite.
An hour late for the meal.
Turns up empty handed.
No explanation.

We would have finished lunch by time she got there! No way i would make my family wait an hour for someone who lived 5 minutes away for xmas dinner.
Selfish, lazy inconsiderate cf of 1st order. Who does she think she is that her time is more important than you and your family's?

2 and half hrs i mean

"We would have finished lunch by time she got there! No way i would make my family wait an hour for someone who lived 5 minutes away for xmas dinner."

Same here. The food would have been ruined for a start.

Can no one think of a charitable reason for this?

No, exaltedwombat, can you?

In reply to exaltedwombat and everyone else who's asked, j wonder if the OP's friend could be depressed, perhaps. Maybe that's why she's late.

Although it's quite rude to arrive late somewhere without any warning though - especially when you're being hosted by someone else. Did your friend apologise, OP?

Perhaps she’s not doing so well and it’s an effort to get herself out. Christmas can be a difficult time for people with mental health issues.

I agree with above poster.

Consider that she may really be struggling. Ask her is she's ok.

I have clinically diagnosed, medicated depression. Even at my worst I'd have managed a text to say I was sorry, running late, please start without me. If I was that bad I wouldn't have gone at all.

Yes there could be some reason for her behaviour but it doesn't excuse her being so rude, and I don't know that it's helpful to try and ascribe health problems to her that we will never have confirmed. Mental health issues don't magically make you into a selfish and ungrateful person.

Maybe she felt obliged to go to you as you asked her and if she is not feeling good it would have taken a huge effort on her part to get ready .

Mental health issues don't magically make you into a selfish and ungrateful person.

No, they don't. But they can cause you to behave in certain ways and not see how you're behaving.

True huha. I think it's worth OP texting this person and asking why she was so late without letting her know. Just a straightforward question (don't go supposing depression or giving her possible answers) and see what she says. Maybe she'll apologise if she hasn't realised what a tool she was.