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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to be annoyed about this

42 replies

SylviaTietjens · 25/12/2017 12:49

Dh’s parents are staying with us for Christmas. They’re lovely people but very much expect to be waited on, won’t get up and make a cup of tea or anything. Dh works very long hours and I’m a sahm. This year I have chosen, purchased and wrapped all presents for dc, my family, his family and mutual friends. I am also cooking Christmas dinner for us all.

Dc1’s main present is a micro scooter. Which again, I’d chosen, bought, put together and wrapped. Dc2 needed his afternoon nap. Obviously no one else was going to put him down, so I stopped cooking and gave him his bottle and put him to sleep.

I come back downstairs and they’ve all (dh, mil, fil and dc1) gone out. No note or anything, but scooter gone so they must be going up to park on his scooter. I can’t come too because dc2 is in bed.

I wanted to see dc1 try his scooter for the first time! I’m just a complete fucking skivvy. Now I’m just sitting on the sofa drinking sherry while the dinner burns. Actually I don’t care if iabu or not, I’m really fucked off.

OP posts:
punkpuffin · 25/12/2017 13:02

Id be pissed off too. Does dh have a mobile, can you call him and ask what's going on?

NoCanoe · 25/12/2017 13:04

OP, you perfectly entitled to feel that way. Thats rude inconsiderate and downright selfish of them.
Seethe away because that is very poor form from them all!.
I can understand DC wanting to try scooter...But for them all to slip away? With no note?

Odd.....

SonicBoomBoom · 25/12/2017 13:05

To not even bother telling you is so disrespectful.

SylviaTietjens · 25/12/2017 13:06

He’s left his phone here so I can’t call him. I get that they didn’t wnt to shout up the stairs that they were going out, but the fact they haven’t even left a note just says to me that they didn’t even consider that I might like to know.

OP posts:
LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 25/12/2017 13:06

I’d be annoyed too. Enjoy your sherry and try not to let it piss you off too much. I wouldn’t let the dinner burn though because I’m greedy and would want to eat it!
Merry Christmas [santa]

IHaveACuntingPlan · 25/12/2017 13:11

You know that story where the hen cuts the corn and does all the other work and makes some bread all by herself and all the others refuse to help? At the end of the story she eats the bread and refuses to share. Be like that hen. Cook the meal, serve yourself and the younger dc but leave the others to sort themselves out and explain exactly why and how they've pissed you off.

Elmosmum · 25/12/2017 13:36

Oh that's rubbish op - I've had in laws like this and it does my head in. Let them know when they get back how inconsiderate they all were.

I tried being very explicit with jobs for them to do but in the end the fuss and faffing around really didn't make it any help whatsoever!! I hope DH is doing his fair share.

They'll be gone soon and you can put your feet up. Thanks

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/12/2017 13:41

That's really shitty I'm sorry op Flowers

They have treated you appallingly and no doubt it will be dressed up as helping to get people out of your hair while you do the cooking Angry

ShotsFired · 25/12/2017 13:57

That sounds really shitty @SylviaTietjens Angry

I'd do what @IHaveACuntingPlan says:
You know that story where the hen cuts the corn and does all the other work and makes some bread all by herself and all the others refuse to help? At the end of the story she eats the bread and refuses to share. Be like that hen. Cook the meal, serve yourself and the younger dc but leave the others to sort themselves out and explain exactly why and how they've pissed you off.

MintyChops · 25/12/2017 14:17

That’s shitty OP, really thoughtless and mean. I have my in-laws here too and she is the laziest woman alive, does nothing while he is the most fuss-potty, annoying, I-know- best pain in the arse ever. And the power keeps cutting off to the sockets and tripping the power to the water pump. And my DH is lying in bed saying he has flu. I am doggedly drink8ng Pinot and trying not to burn the turkey but I sort of don’t give a shit anymore.

Can’t wait until they leave!

BeverlyGoldberg · 25/12/2017 14:44

That’s shit of the highest order. So thoughtless and ungrateful.

Can you take this opportunity to be a bit selfish. Read a book with a glass of wine —put some stray pine needles in their underwear—.

BeverlyGoldberg · 25/12/2017 14:44

Strikeout fail. You get the idea!

Ellisandra · 25/12/2017 14:47

Bundle up your baby and go out.
Leave your mobile at home.
Turn the temperature right up on the timer before you go.

arethereanyleftatall · 25/12/2017 16:52

That sounds unfair.
Could they have thought you had fallen asleep with him, or was it a two minute job?

TenancyTroublesAgain · 25/12/2017 17:49

Yadnbu. So rude.

toomuchofacoincidence · 25/12/2017 20:08

What arseholes!

RadioGaGoo · 25/12/2017 21:01

How did this play out OP?

SylviaTietjens · 26/12/2017 08:36

They came back at about 1.30 as I’d said we’d be doing dinner at 2. Dc2 had woken up by that point.

I lied and said I’d spent the whole time trying to get dc2 down for his nap and had text dh asking him to take turkey out. The turkey was pretty dry but not burnt —sadly—.

I asked dh if he thought I might have wanted to watch dc1 our on his scooter for the first time and he just decided I was totally overreacting and being a martyr because I wouldn’t let anyone help. No one had fucking offered!

Anyway I’m still thoroughly pissed off. I’m currently lying in bed and letting dh and il’s sort out their own breakfasts and the dc.

OP posts:
Afreshturkeyplease · 26/12/2017 08:39

How selfish op!

Your dh should be waiting on you today i think

ferntwist · 26/12/2017 08:45

Good for you for lying in bed this morning. They’re treating you like the family servant, not an equal member.

Wolfiefan · 26/12/2017 08:53

How rubbish! In future don't wait for them to offer! Assign jobs. Or don't invite them!!

rainbowstardrops · 26/12/2017 09:07

I’d be bloody fuming! I’d have had to let them know that too Angry

saoirse31 · 26/12/2017 09:16

So you let the turkey overcook because you were annoyed? Seems a bit childish, wasting food, cutting off your nose to spite etc...

BackInTheRoom · 26/12/2017 09:22

Agree childish saoirse31 but being treated like a nothing and minimising your feelings of hurt can make you act this way 😕

SylviaTietjens · 26/12/2017 09:40

I know saoirse it’s completely childish. I’m just at the point where I’ve realised I’ve just become such a part of the furniture that no one even notices I’m here until I stop doing my jobs.

OP posts: