To feel a bit deflated about Christmas this year?

[DonkeyPunch88]

As the title says really. We're struggling financially this year after a series of unexpected large bills, so I've saved as much as physically possible for Christmas but it was always going to be tight.

I have 4 DCs so the 3 bigger ones have all been given 1 main present each (£50 per child) and a stocking full of books, chocolates, games, PJS, smellies etc. Littlest DC is only a baby so just had her main present from us.

This is the first Christmas we have all spent together, usually 3 older DC go to their Dad's house. I was really looking forward to a proper family Christmas. I bought as much yummy food as I could for our budget, their main presents are all the ones they asked for. We did hot chocolate and marshmallows with Christmas films last night, I just wanted a nice no frills but happy family Christmas.

So far all the kids have done is scream, fight and argue. They are 10, 8 and 5 by the way. Oldest just complained that he hasn't got much, main present is exactly what he asked for but apparently it's the wrong colour white?! (Scooter)
Middle child is sulking because something wasn't right with stuff in her stocking.
Little one is grumpy because he was too rough taking a toy out the box and immediately broke it. They keep screaming and shouting, the eldest has just told me I've not tried hard enough this year! He doesn't realise I haven't eaten anything but toast some days just so I could afford all this.
They've got everything they've asked for and yet they are being complete spoilt brats it's just so bloody heartbreaking. I know they are just children and I wasn't expecting fawning gratitude but I just feel so sad and deflated.

Sorry if it was a bit long

Take them all out for a walk if possible. Hope it gets better soon.

Take the gifts away - put them in their rooms

Grab a drink and a book and ignore all complaints

Today is no different to other days in terms of disapline -

They can earn the toys back when they stop moaning

Christmas ime can be a bit of a letdown, with kids we half expect them to be full of joy where it is full of whinges ,by tomorrow they won't care the scooter is the wrong colour just let it wash over you

Yanbu, but I think a lot of families get like this on the day. So exciting leading up to the day and then all hell breaks loose. YY to taking them somewhere greenish for a big walk to chill them out if you can.

These things happen. Xmas is overrated over hyped and it's alot of pressure on adults to compete with what everyone ekse is doing and on kids to have to be so enthusiastic and happy knowing that you are responsible at that moment for how the adults around you are feeling.

In a few days time all will be forgotten and they will play with or use all the stuff.

But chances are they are just overwhelmed and exhausted.

Shove a movie on and go upstairs with a book and a coffee

Christmas day is crap.

Dd is in bed asleep having got herself so hyped up last night.

Ds is downstairs having time to himself.

Dp and I are in our room giving them space, we'll eat at the usual time. Boxing day is a much nicer day IMO.

In your case tho id be having some VERY firm words with the eldest child especially, he needs to know how hard you did try to give him lovely things. Then send him to have space and time to himself.

tired kids are a bloody nightmare

get them out for a bit then busy yourself cooking and ignore them

Mine haven't been too bad but dinner is always a drama - they fight over everything

It's shit. DD1 is dead, DS has autism which SUCKS and we're skint. I'm not a fan of Christmas.

Mine are being quite good at the moment, unlike yesterday where dd had a meltdown as someone gave her a rubbish gift (she has ASD and can’t do the ‘oh, thank you very much’ thing when she doesn’t like something). At the moment they are both sat at the table colouring, they had hand held consoles for Christmas but I have told them they can not play on them until after lunch.

Dd1 got given the wrong 3ds game from her dad but has been really good about it, it was her main present from him so she was obviously disappointed but did a good job hiding it.

I think it’s normal for Christmas spray to be a bit of a disappointment, such a big build up, so much hype, everyone’s tired, grumpy and hungry.

Nothing to add to the good advice here, but just to say you sound like a fantastic mum. You did your absolute best under difficult circumstances, and when they grow up, your kids will understand and appreciate that. Today they're just being tired and grumpy!

I hope you can do something nice for yourself today? Read a book with a drink, a bath, etc?

Too much onus is put on today, op, please don't beat yourself up about it. Every day can't be great and we every Christmas can't be. Put it down to experience and do what you can to get through the day. Tomorrow will be better

Thank you everyone for your kind replies.
I've put them all in their bedrooms for now and things are seeming a little calmer at the moment. I'm currently cooking lunch and wondering if I can open the Baileys yet
I guess I just built it up a bit too much in my own head, but unrealistic I suppose.

I know things could be a lot worse, we have a home, warmth, food and drink, each other. I guess we are actually quite lucky in reality. Just sometimes I find it all a bit much you know? Thanks again everyone

If you've got a new baby they might be feeling pushed out, I'm sure they aren't, but they may well be feeling it. Mine aren't being wonderful either.

Open the Baileys, definitely. And I would be making them watch all the YouTube charity videos about kids in Syria who are living in piles of rubble with no toys.

Oh dear - sometimes DCs can be such odious little shits

Yes we build it up and some years it is totally meh crack open the baileys and enjoy your dinner

Mine started off like that until I took them out for a walk in our local park. I've made them sandwiches & fruit to tide them until the main meal. They're now playing civilly with their toys.

Take them out op, it'll blow the cobwebs away.

Expat to you. I remember your posts well.

I'm finding Christmas tricky as well for various reasons. It's only one day to get through. Tomorrow it will be all back to normal. Best wishes of the season to all of you.

Agree with those saying take them out. Though I'd be having strong words with the oldest, he's old enough to know better and he's been very rude and ungrateful.

expat .
It is completely shit. Luckily it'll be over soon

I am sorry to hear this OP, I had a few grumbles from my youngest dc about some stuff in her stocking who having now opened everything possible including one of dh's presents has declared that it doesn't feel like Christmas.
Meanwhile, dh has bought me a present that I am struggling to warm to and feel very guilty about. It is a jewellery box but resembles more of a massive box and hugely practical but not aesthetically pleasing and all I feel now is ungrateful and guilty. I am six months pregnant and struggling to feel anywhere near festive having had a crap nights sleep and then having slept some more today; my youngest dc is still I wanting and getting stroppy my visions of spending Christmas together playing games etc. is rapidly going out the window as my patience is shredded. My grown up stepson is turning up later (he invited himself) so bang goes my evening snuggled up with dh. Because I can't drink, none of this is feeling any better, not even peeling the vegetables later; a nice glass of baileys would have gone down beautifully.
My elder dc is skulking in and out of her bedroom so we catch rare glimpses of her throughout the day.
All my neighbours appear to have disappeared elsewhere for Christmas lunch and the whole street seems like a ghost town whilst I am trying to convince myself that it doesn't matter that we have no extended family to visit/or visit us and at least there won't be arguments etc. whilst desperately missing my childhood Christmas's of seeing many, many relations. I swore to myself that I wouldn't become distracted by the computer today/mumsnet but here I am sat on the damn thing typing out my frustration.
The whole thing feels Meh and flat. However, we have some outings planned over the next few days, can't wait to move on...when I know that I should be enjoying the day. As your title states; feeling a bit deflated when I know I should feel grateful for nice food, having a family etc. Yes, yes, open the Baileys!

It is provably a good time to teach the kids that some other kids are not as lucky as them. Hope your day improves OP

expat so sorry to hear that

It feels rubbish here too. Littlest has severe chicken pox, eldest woke at 4am with terrible vomiting bug and middle one has asd and is being so trying. Despite all this, in laws insisted on coming round and just sat and stared while da was in full meltdown mode. It madee feel so small as they just don't get it. No lunch is being cooked, and my day has consisted of being bottom of everyone's heap as per usual. I feel extraordinarily pissed off. Dh is almost as bad as his mum when it comes to understanding asd and tbh I'm fed up of it all.

GreenTulips has it. Ungrateful little shits, I'm not remotely surprised you're so upset OP. Nobody should behave like that whatever their age! Can't believe you've gone to such effort only to have it thrown back in your face. I'd be fuming.

Keep them in their rooms for a bit (minus their presents) then when they come out tell them to choose 2-3 of their presents to be taken to a charity shop when they reopen so kids who are less fortunate and grateful can have nice gifts this xmas. Trust me, nothing else you can do will have as much impact as teaching them this lesson that irs unacceptable to be rude and ungrateful and that they don't realise how lucky they are. Not to be done in a spiteful way, but the experience of actually handing over some of their new toys to a charity shop for someone else will teach them much more about their behaviour than any amount of shouting or banishing to rooms you can do. Consider it. They should be mortified.