To thing my Step-mum should be more flexible about this?

[Batmanwearspants]

Spending xmas eve with my dad and it’s the only day I’m seeing him over the festive period. Step-Mum is adamant presents can’t be opened before xmas day, so we aren’t opening each other’s gifts in front of each other and we will be taking ours back and opening them tomorrow alone.

I’d quite like to see my dad open his present from me but that doesn’t seem to be allowed. I don’t really understand why me step-Mum is being so rigid about this. Aibu?

Yanbu OP

Surely a decision for the giver/recipient to make

She’s not giving or receiving the gift so don’t see why she gets a say

Tell him you would like to see him open it. See what he says.

Well we’ve bought her gifts as well. It just seems like she’s adamant all wrapping paper will stay on until xmas day.

I’m going to my mums tomorrow and it would feel awkward taking presents from my dads to my mums and opening there. So I guess me and dp and my brother will be opening them at ours before we leave?

YANBU. I've opened some presents before now and will have some to open after Xmas. As my DH says; it's a festive season, not limited to one day.

Why does she get to dictate it? Doesn't your dad have a voice?

My dad just kinda goes along with it.

How old are you? What do you think she will do if you try to open your present whilst you are there - wrestle you to the ground?

I agree with PP, you cannot make your dad open his present if he feels obligated to do what SM says but I would tell him you really want to see him open it. If she objects, just say she an open hers on Christmas Day if she wants, but this is important to you.

I'm endlessly amazed at the number of people who just go along with things!

You can break the cycle, though. Give your presents into your dad's hands for him to open, and open yours. What's your stepmother going to do - wrestle them off you?

Cross-post with happypoobum! Clearly both imagining a wrestling scene.

Step mum is being a bit silly I think. Every year we have three Christmas days. One on Christmas Eve with my mum, Christmas Day with whoever, we take it in turns every year his family or mine, then Boxing Day with his extended family as his family is huge. All presents are opened the day we are there.

Just politely push back a bit, she will look the childish one insisting they can’t be opened.

As amusing as a wrestling match would be I’m not sure if that would make for a good relationship between me and SM

She's selfish and silly. You're there to see your dad, that includes opening presents. What does she think is going to happen if he opens his from you early?

Are your presents to them already under their tree, or are you taking them with you? If the latter, take off the wrapping paper and hand them to your dad at the time of your choosing. Job done.

FIGHT!!!!!

Seriously - what would she do if you said "Don't be silly SM, it's not your present" ???

You have to stand up to bullies OP. I have to admit I would not be controlled like this. If your dad is that whipped he would refuse to open it I would probably open it myself and hand to him but I am a petulant cow

She probably wants to stick to what has always been the tradition for her. I wouldn't make a fuss about it - it's not that much of a big deal seeing someone taking wrapping paper off.

Just tell her it is a new tradition, and open yours. What's the worst that can happen?

Well deepan she is perfectly entitled to do that for herself. I don't think OP is worried if SM doesn't open her present. Do you think SM has the right to tell another adult when they can open presents?

And yes it is a lovely thing to see someone's face when they open a present you know they will love. It just isn't the same to hear about it afterwards.

Totally inappropriate and high handed of her.

And your father is wet to go along with it.

That did make me laugh -picturing her chasing you round the room and then wrestling you to the floor whilst you are frantically trying to open the wrapping paper!
We had an early xmas day on Friday and opened presents then between us- with xmas dinner , crackers etc . Will have another xmas day tomorrow too 😀

Nothing to do with her. Your dad is being weak though so he's your real problem.

Tell her to mind her bloody beeswax!

If your Father is kinda going along with it.. then he doesn't disagree with it either OP so your Father agrees....

What my dad actually said was ‘we’ll see what she says after dinner”.