“I can” he said.

[NutellaButtys]

I’m fucking furious and half you are probably going to flame me for this.

Im youngish, early 20s and I go out a lot. So Christmas season and all that, I was out last night. (Liverpool so very busy, roudy night scene).

I was in the toilets a few times in the night and one man kept coming into the women’s. now, i know drink factors into it and all so I didn’t think much of it than ‘he’s drunk and confused’. But no. One girl at one point challenged him and said you can’t be in here. And you know what? He said “I can, I have every right to be if i say I need to use these toilets”.

Im livid. This is the first time ive seen this happen first hand. One girl next to me said ‘I don’t care as long as he’s not bothering me’. Well I care because what if he was. He’s already declared himself able to come in said toilets into a cubicle.

AIBU this should not be happening?!

Did he have a dress on ?

“Well I care because what if he was”

But he wasn’t?

YANBU. It doesn't matter what he was wearing, a biological male should not be entering a sex segregated place that is for women. This is why women are up in arms about the potential changes to the GRA, because men will take advantage. His response to being challenged clearly shows he was doing it for a reaction or hoping to make people uncomfortable. And there are a lot more men who want to intimidate women and assert their 'rights' in order to get access to women where he came from. You can't prove that he wasn't getting some sort of sexual kick from his invasion of women's space or from voyeurism and there lies the problem, if we allow anyone who feels like it access to women's spaces there will be consequences far worse than people simply feeling uncomfortable.

Did you report him to the managers?

The queues are always longer in the Ladies.
He must have a strong "reason" to want to use them instead of the Gents

No I didn’t. I was just trying to enjoy my night. And I don’t know what bloody places allow any self identifying ‘transgender’ people in whichever sex segregated space they want anymore.

No a man (even one who imagines he's a woman) should not be in the women's toilets.

Today in ImaginaryLand..

It didn't take long for the real reason for posting this came out. Look; cis men are NOT trans women.

As someone else said, women's toilets in clubs etc are always the busiest, so there would be no reason for a bloke to be in there to take a piss, which is why this is yet another mumsnet-not-even-TRYING-to-be-a-veiled-attack against transgender people. You know full well that if a bloke walked in he'd be thrown out by the seat of his pants in no short order, so enough with the made up bullshit.

Do folks here really have nothing better to do than talk this much shit about imaginary scenarios just to be entirely unreasonable about the trans community? It's absolutely ridiculous. Oddly enough, when folks go into toilets, they mostly want to do one of the following:

TAKE A PISS - IMAGINE THAT.
Fix their appearance.
Vomit if they're feeling unwell.
Take a shit.

The toilet scenario is so fucking old now. Change the bloody record.

I’d have complained to staff. You shouldn’t have to though he should respect women’s privacy.

I find it hard to believe that a man was allowed to walk into the women’s toilets multiple times during an evening and not once person complained.

I’m not buying it.

Look; cis men are NOT trans women.

You mean, men are not women. We all know this. It’s why this is a problem.

and not once person complained.

Did you not read the OP? One person did complain.

It’s not illegal.

Are sure this is a trans issue and not some lairy drunk knob being a knob?

He should have been reported the cheeky fucker

It’s amazing how many people are still trying to convince themselves this isnt happening. Men being given women’s roles in politics, women being awarded women’s titles in sports, men being named woman of the year. And yet people don’t believe a man would walk into a women’s toilet? Have a word with yourself.

This happened (the other way round) to me. I was so shocked (and at the urinals!) that I think I apologised to the women and left quickly.

Only afterwards did I kind of realise what had ocurred.

IT didn't take long for the insult cis to be chucked into the conversation, did it? 😒 Isn't it funny how trans supporters can use whatever term they like to describe men and women, but we're supposed to use whatever words they demand to describe them?

For what it's worth I don't think men, even those that pretend to be women, should be in women's toilets.

Not seeing this as a trans issue and dunno why pp are leaping on the idea? Sounds like the guy was just being a twat. The entire Samoan rugby team invaded the ladies in a club in Cardiff one night. I was —delighted— horrified and no, they weren’t all trans to my knowledge, they were just taking the piss and were turned round and sent back out pdq.

To those saying this is not true, I don't know the OP, but I have been in plenty of gay clubs where men do come into the women's toilets. I hate it and they always ignore me or laugh if I challenge them.

Sounds like a drunk twat!
I don't see this as a trans issue.
I've used the mens toilets many times over the years as well as co-ed loos.
It's not such a big deal for me, however, I can see how it will bother some folks.

My point wasn’t if he is trans or not. My point was, whether drunk or not, he USED the trans excuse as a reason to be in there. Saying we couldn’t challenge him because he has rights to be in there if he needs to use female facilties. So point being , if he wasn’t trans, he’s jumping on the bandwagon and saying it just to get into a female space which is exactly the worry than many like me have goT!

Unless you are about to drop a massive drip feed then how do you extrapolate from his words which you say were: “I can, I have every right to be if i say I need to use these toilets”. Not as drunk grandstanding / twattish behaviour to a naked attempt to jump on the trans bandwagon?

I'm somehow inclined to believe this might have happened because no-one really needs to create a 'story' in order to pad out an anti-trans thread.

My sister went out to a club with unisex toilets with sofas in.

Creepy older men were sat around watching the women coming & going; all the women rushed out instead of hanging around to do their make up or even wash their hands as they felt so uncomfortable.

Luckily my sister is acquainted with the owner & she & her friends are going to tell him what the problem is.

Another bar in town has unisex loos & there have been several sexual assaults there.

Why can't we have men's loos, women's loos & a couple of unisex cubicles separate for those who want them?

Why can't we have men's loos, women's loos & a couple of unisex cubicles separate for those who want them?

Where would the creepy men sit then?