to refuse to open presents from DH?

[loobybear]

We are really tight for cash this Christmas as a close family member got married a couple of weeks ago and the cost of attending the wedding (it was in UK but hours away so had to pay for hotel plus clothes for the quite specific dress code as well as gift and petrol money) has really strapped us.
We agreed not to get each other gifts and instead to plan something really special that we are going to do together next year. We were both pretty happy about this and both promised that neither of us would get the other a present. All was fine but last night DH tells me not to come in the room for a minute and eventually admits he's wrapping presents for me. I'm raging. I'm really ill just now so even if I wanted to go out and get him a gift I woudlnt be able to face the crowds with how I'm feeling. He says that he got paid a bit extra this month due to something getting backdated so decided he could use that to get me some gifts (close to £300 worth!!) and thought he was doing something nice for me.
I was stumped with what to do at first, I'm not opening gifts from him when I have nothing for him and I thought about getting him to take them back (which he offered to do) but Id feel guilty about that as he told me he spent loads of time looking for gifts I would really love and he feels proud of what he got me this year. So I thought the best solution would be to keep them aside until I'm able to go and get him some gifts and swap them at a later date (will have to be after my next wage). Would this be unreasonable to do? It's the best I can think of. Any other ideas?

It's nice of him but also making Op uncomfortable.

Is it the value of the gifts?

AND I would be refusing to open them - and making him take them back.

Overreacting much?

I'm surprised at some of the reactions here, I don't really see where the man-bashing comes in, the post would be the same whatever sex my partner was. For those saying how bloody ungrateful or get over yourself- it would be one thing if he had got me a token gift, but he's bought me a number of things totalling almost £300. I'd be more inclined to think I would need to get over myself if i felt happy sitting there opening a number of expensive gifts while handing him over nothing.

Another thing is that much of our relationship is based on banter and taking the piss out each other so I know that I will need to go through a year of jokes about 'remember the time you didn't get me anything for Christmas...' and i wont have much of a come back (except well that's your own fault). Anyway the situation has been resolved thanks to some of the great suggestions I've had on here. I'm going to set up the treasure hunt around the house with envelopes of things for us to do this year and the booking.com idea is fab so will pre-book somewhere that i dont need to pay for right now and put that in one of them!

I think he's been quite selfish and disrespectful too. You are married, and yet he is keeping back money, going against an agreement and not giving you an equal chance to participate in the enjoyment of choosing and giving. I'd be upset and angry. That's more money than anyone has ever spent on me - a tenth of it would have done. It's enough to relax your whole Christmas - you say you are tight for cash so presumably this could have helped with giving to family, friends and charity, food treats, decorations etc.
I'd ask him to take them back and explain why I was upset.

A family member was in the same position last year and gave me a lovely home made book of vouchers,i.e.; "this voucher entitles you two a romantic night in","this voucher entitles you to a cinema night,your choice of film,I make the popcorn,drinks","a massage","a days child sitting whilst you do anything you want","a meal out at your favourite place".
Things like that where one's that cost could be delayed until money matters improved and free ones for now.
It was a loving and much appreciated gift which can be tailored to your own preferences.
So open your gifts and stop with your voucher with a light heart 🌼🌼

Swop not stop

Thank you Cindie, that’s a lovely post.

Another thing is that much of our relationship is based on banter and taking the piss out each other so I know that I will need to go through a year of jokes about 'remember the time you didn't get me anything for Christmas...' and i wont have much of a come back (except well that's your own fault).

..."Oh yes, that year you broke your word and spent money we couldn't afford?" I think he'd drop that joke pretty smartly if he had any sense.

Surely he's not expecting anything from you? Anyway your idea sounds good. Enjoy your gifts.

My husband got me a jar of chutney this year. (Slinks out)

Accept the gifts graciously.

This year DH didn't want much. I havr three small gifts for him (one of them is for both of us anyway).

I ordered and bought loads of stuff for myself and passed them on to him to wrap up for me.

It's all joint money anyway here- and stuff I would have bought myself shortly (exercise gear).

If you start playing £ for £ then the spirit of gifting is lost.

Open the gifts. You wanted him to do something nice and he did- he got paid extra and thought to spend it on you, not new fishing gear or Xbox stuff.
I’m sure you can pay him back in blowjobs other ways x

Open the gifts.
He has done something really thoughtful. I'm sure he will get pleasure from seeing your surprise and delight when you open them.
And I understand you feel awkward receiving gifts but he is your husband (partner and lifemate!)....why feel awkward with him?!