DH, kids and food

[ImMissHannigan]

Background: I'm at my wits end trying to feed my family. Eldest DD will and does eat most things. Middle DD changes what she will and won't eat every week. DH is intolerable. Will only eat dry food (no sauces, stews, casseroles etc). Won't eat any veggies at all (like a small child if a veggie touches his plate!). Doesn't like pasta. DSS will only eat pizza, chicken nuggets or super noodles. Or a Morrison's salad bar of tuna pasta. Can't make it, has to be in a plastic container. Baby is quite good but turns her nose up at veggies like her dad. So there are 6 of us and I have to go to the supermarket every day after pulling teeth to get an idea of what they will eat. Most days it is 2 meals. Sometimes 3 or even 4 different meals. It's time consuming and expensive to boot.
Anyway on to my AIBU. A few days ago I sat them all down and asked for ten meals they would eat and ten they would consider trying. Didn't get much but got enough to plan the meals for the next week. I didn't fancy battling through the supermarkets in the Christmas rush every day. Yesterday I was ill with food poisoning and in bed. OH comes in and says he has made a pizza for DSS. This was for Boxing Day and not just a standard pizza. It's a super large family pizza. Meant to feed the whole family, not just one child. And now leaves me a meal short and a trip to the shops. Again! Anyway I told him it was a meal for later in the week and he sent me a nasty text and then went out and replaced the pizza. All good and should end there, you would think. But no. He has declared now that he will buy and cook all his own food from now on. That he won't touch a thing that I have bought for Christmas and will take care of him and DSS meals. But all in a very PA way. Saying that I was out of order for him wanting to feed his son. I should also say that when I asked what they wanted from the supermarket I got everything he wanted and DSS was meant to be at home with his mum for tea yesterday so didn't plan for him. However his regular chicken super noodles (I hate these things and wouldn't have my kids eat them so regularly but it's OH choice) were in the cupboard as were chicken nuggets in the freezer. So why take a large 18" family pizza for one child. So now he thinks I'm the bad bastard for not letting him feed his son and is ruining Christmas with his frankly childish stance. AIBU? Should I just let him get on with his crisp butties for tea (at least 3 times a week!) and concentrate on feeding the rest of us healthy meals.

I was going to advise you to tell him to do his own cooking from now on but then saw he beat me to it.

Let him off. Don't buy or cook for him and your stepson. Don't worry about what they eat. If your own kids comment tell them that dh and dss make their choices but your job is to make sure they eat healthy good food.

For your own children, make one dish a night, something they don't hate. provide bread and fruit at the table so even if they don't want it they eat something. Have a rotating list of about 7-10 meals (any more and they never get used to something). If they eat something make it again soon. Don't let your children acquire your husband's terrible eating habits (which he has passed onto his son already).

Your husband's attitude to you is a different issue. He doesn't sound very kind.

please write to the consultant and tell him what stepson eats. otherwise surely they are just wasting time and nhs money and leaving dss to suffer??

I would make sure that dss knows that he can eat the food you have prepared if he chooses to and then crack on with one healthy meal for all with dp and dss eating supernoodles when you have finished.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. What kind of example is he setting for your children / dss? Everyone needs vegetables to be healthy, my diet isn't the best but I eat plenty of vegetables and so do my children, they don't always like them but they have to at least try them.

There's no way I'd be cooking 3/4/5 different dinners every day, it would cost a fortune. I'd be making one dinner and they could eat the bits they like or have toast.

Not liking something your oh likes is one thing but to say no veg, no stews, nothing with a sauce etc is bloody ridiculous for a nt adult. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who was so incredibly fussy with what they'll eat never mind the way he spoke to you.

Making a huge 18" pizza for one child is ridiculous, it's obvious that it was for a dinner for all of you. Speaking to you like that was bang out of order. I'd be seriously rethinking my relationship after that.