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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed at this

40 replies

Edinburghlass1991 · 24/12/2017 09:34

Sil called me last night asking if her and bil and mil can come for xmas and stay til 27th. I explained that the food shop was already done and now was pretty skint. She said she will put money in bank so i can go back out today. I know its pretty shit thing to do and if we had more time we would not ask for it but she seemed pretty happy with it so all good. I hate going food shopping at the best of times never mind xmas eve so wanted it done asap but theres still no money ive already asked again but it still not there.
Feel like a piece of shit already cos of it.

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 24/12/2017 09:36

Just say no it's too short notice? Or tell them yes, but they have to shop?

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 24/12/2017 09:36

God don't feel like shit! They've given you NO notice. I'd need assistance too!

JediStoleMyBike · 24/12/2017 09:36

YANBU. Very cheeky of her to land them all on you last minute and expect you to do the work she clearly can't be arsed doing herself.
Speak to your DH / partner but ultimately I'd be suggesting he tells her to FO.

teaiseverything · 24/12/2017 09:37

YANBU at all.

Lazylouse · 24/12/2017 09:37

Ridiculous! Can't they do the extra food shop? I think I would just have refused at such short notice.

MerryChristmasOneandAll · 24/12/2017 09:38

Tell her not to transfer the money, but give her a list of the food she needs to bring.
That way you don’t have to go out.

RunningOutOfCharge · 24/12/2017 09:40

It can take time to reach different banks.... days in some cases

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 24/12/2017 09:40

Well depending when she transferred the money it won't show in your account until after Christmas surely? Why the short notice? Has she not made any preparations for Christmas dinner? Hmm I'd send her a shopping list and tell her this is what's needed.

Groovee · 24/12/2017 09:40

I would have said no.

Just call her and tell her that as there is no money she can either buy it or not come at all.

Snowman41 · 24/12/2017 09:43

That would have been met with a resounding no from me I'm afraid.

Call her back and say you are sorry but you felt that you were on the spot before but now you have had time to think about it and discuss with your OH you realise it just isn't going to be practical. Invite them for a lunch or dinner on one of the days. But be firm about no staying for days. Fuck that.

Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 24/12/2017 09:44

They are miles away the food will go off on the way up so thats why am doing the shop the whole reason i said yes was for dh he hasnt seen his dm in ages

OP posts:
Afreshturkeyplease · 24/12/2017 09:45

They need to bring the food. And prep it

QuiteLikely5 · 24/12/2017 09:51

Just text her and say it’s not in the bank and you can’t manage to buy it otherwise

Gemini69 · 24/12/2017 09:52

this is bollocks.. why are they only notifying you now Xmas Hmm somethings not right....

VimFuego101 · 24/12/2017 09:52

I suspect the money won't show up, but they will.

LostMyMojoSomewhere · 24/12/2017 09:54

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

GlitterGlassEye · 24/12/2017 09:56

I transfer money online all the time and it can take up to 2 hours, definitely not days to show.

She’s taking the piss. I reckon she’s left herself skint over xmas and is looking to you to feed them all over xmas.

diddl · 24/12/2017 09:57

So if he wants to see his mum why isn't he shopping?

Has he already tried to see her/them & been refused?

I'd have the money for a shop (although shops now closed until Tues!), but no room to put 3 adults up.

What plans did they have that have fallen through?

No food to bring with them??

Food would go off on the drive-how convenient for them!!Hmm

HolgerDanske · 24/12/2017 09:59

Yes, YABU, because it’s ‘pissed off’. Unless you literally are drunk at it...

On the actual question, no is a complete sentence.

Cherrycokewinning · 24/12/2017 10:00

OP she doesn’t give a shit really does she? She’s coming anyway and just expects you to deal with it. You have to make the ground rules very clear now otherwise she’ll turn up and you’ll have to try and feed all those people out of what you have. Phone her and tell her what you need her to do. Be straight and clear. Tell her this is unexpected and you’re not happy but you will help her if she does CYZ

Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 24/12/2017 10:00

Am not sure why its now they asked! Dh is working today so it makes sense for me to do it

OP posts:
Original poster
Edinburghlass1991 · 24/12/2017 10:02

I wonder if sil is on mumsnet the moneys there now!

OP posts:
Ceebs85 · 24/12/2017 10:03

Unless they're travelling days through a hot climate no food bought today is not going to go off before Christmas day. How ridiculous!

xyzandabc · 24/12/2017 10:04

They bring the extra food with them. It's not going to go off on the way unless they are thousands of miles away.

Pack a cool bag and off they go.
My parents drove 10.5 hours yesterday to get to us, so just under 12 hours door to door including stops. They brought plenty of food with them including a meat joint.

Really, they want to come last minute, they bring the food, prep the food, wash up, make their own beds, and don't cause you any extra work. No compromises.

Shantotto · 24/12/2017 10:05

How far are they driving?! What's going to go off for a few hours in a cold boot?! Tell them to get it on the way.