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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if anyone else is spending Christmas alone?

72 replies

ElvisChristmas · 23/12/2017 20:56

Just that really. My DH and DC have gone abroad for Christmas to visit relatives. I couldn't go due to work and tickets were too expensive so close to Christmas so I'm staying home. I don't know many people locally and those I know well enough are either going away or have other plans so I'm just going to be by myself. Planning to do a lot of binge eating and binge TV watching. Have caught up on sleep and cleaning. Might go to the church tomorrow and Christmas day for some social interaction. Anyone else alone this Christmas? What are you planning for yourself?

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 23/12/2017 21:00

Sorry to hear that OP, your plan of eating fun food and watching cheesy Xmas films does sound nice, do you have a nice meal you can treat yourself to? Could you Skype/face time With your family at some point?

Original poster
ElvisChristmas · 23/12/2017 21:02

I have a lovely meal planned, all my favourite foods that nobody else likes. I facetime DC every night. Part of me is trying not to freak out too much, it's just another day and another part is really trying to enjoy it, knowing it's a rare chance to enjoy peace and quiet and indulge in all my favourite things.

OP posts:
TenancyTroublesAgain · 23/12/2017 21:02

I am too. Can't be bothered with it anymore. No kids or anything. Mum lives with new husband who I met once, at the wedding, and she wants to leave now anyway so don't particularly want to go there. Wherever I go is a case of "who's putting up with me this year?"

I don't mind though, I'm not really into Christmas like I used to be. I'll make a dinner for myself and then... I don't know.

Original poster
ElvisChristmas · 23/12/2017 21:03

I guess it's kind of a weird feeling, never been all by myself for Christmas before. Not sure what to expect. Hopefully it doesn't become a regular thing!!!!!

OP posts:
ShotsFired · 23/12/2017 21:10

Yup, my OH is off at his family. He went last night and won't be back till Wednesday or Thursday. I'm doing some volunteer work on Monday.

Having had to undertake a Crystal Maze challenge just to get a screwdriver earlier, I may spend a few hours cleaning out the shed tomorrow.

It just feels like any other day tbh, I long since found that adding emotional weight to it makes it feel worse.

FreudianSlurp · 23/12/2017 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Runningwithscissors12 · 23/12/2017 21:12

Back in 2014 I was alone. It was weird but also good.

speakout · 23/12/2017 21:13

I find it odd that your DC are away from you at this time.

Your OH could have taken them any time to see family.

Original poster
ElvisChristmas · 23/12/2017 21:17

Due to work and school there weren't many options but I'm joining them before New Year when the tickets were a bit cheaper.

I might try midnight mass for the first time in my life. I wonder if I know what I'm supposed to do there if anything....

OP posts:
ScipioAfricanus · 23/12/2017 21:20

Midnight Mass many churches are used to people coming who don’t come all the time so they tend to talk you through it.

FreudianSlurp · 23/12/2017 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teaiseverything · 23/12/2017 21:21

I did it in 2013, just my dog and I. I binged on Netflix, ate enough steak and dauphinoise potatoes for 4 people and went to bed early. It was a bit weird but I certainly don't look bad and feel sad about it. Treat yourself to lots and lots of goodies and hunker down.

LoveMySituation · 23/12/2017 21:23

Yes, I will be alone. And always will be. If i didn't live in the sticks, I'd volunteer somewhere on Christmas day. Flowers for everyone who's alone and doesn't want to be

.

user1471453601 · 23/12/2017 21:31

I will be alone on Xmas day. Dd and her partner will be with partners mum, with my full agreement. I've had the pleasure of dd and partner for over twenty years, its dds partners mum time now. It seems to be one of the last social taboo's that you can't be alone at Xmas. Yes you can. I quite like my own company (I appreciate that's not so for every one, but its fine with me). I could go to my sisters, my friends or my cleaners, all have offered. I'm quite happy to be alone. I bet I have a more relaxed Xmas than most.. And when DD and partner get home (we live together), we plan to have a delayed Xmas with presents and a big meal.

A Xmas a!one does not need to be a lonely though I appreciate that for some, it does

Chewbecca · 23/12/2017 21:31

I was listening to Graham Norton talking about a solo Christmas he once spent and thoroughbred enjoyed. Eating favourite foods & watching telly but a critical part of it was wearing pyjamas he'd ironed. If I ever did spend Christmas alone, I would definitely take the ironed
PJs option.

Chewbecca · 23/12/2017 21:32

Thoroughly not thoroughbred!

Judydreamsofhorses · 23/12/2017 21:36

I spent two Christmas days alone - similar to a PP, my mum remarried (my dad is dead) and wanted to spend the day with her nw husband, and I was single at the time. I got lots of nice food in, stocked up on good books, had a long bath in the afternoon and then a few glasses of wine in the evening. It was actually fine. I also had a year when I had quite recently got together with my DP, and felt like it was intrusive to accept the invitation to his family Christmas - I spent the day on my own and he came round in the evening with loads of cheese.

I hope you have a good day, OP. I found the run-up was far worse than the actual day because people were really odd about it when they asked what I was doing which made me feel like a bit of a freak.

Glumglowworm · 23/12/2017 21:45

I am sorry for those spending Christmas alone who don’t want to be Flowers be kind to yourselves

I choose to spend Christmas alone, I have presents under the tree in the morning, cook myself a yummy breakfast and a delicious Christmas dinner, eat chocolate and watch Christmas telly. I’m good at being on my own though, I’m very happy with my own company. I know it sounds awful to some people

AntiGrinch · 23/12/2017 21:47

I'm going to be alone for most of the day. My children will be with their father. I'm going to go over there and give them presents in the morning and after that I'll be on my own for the rest of the day.

I'm not expecting it to be effortless but I'm managing it by giving myself as few things as possible to bear myself up with in the run-up - instead of all the over-drinking and so on I usually do in the run up for Christmas. I'm aiming for quietly, healthily melancholy as preferable to pissed-up / hungover / fat / sobbing desperately. With any luck it could work out even better! I'm just managing my expectations :)

I've got a lovely spicy fish recipe, the Die Hard box set and I'll try to enjoy having peace and quiet and a tidy house.

clumsyduck · 23/12/2017 21:51

I think op because this isn't likely to be a regular occurrence and you will be able to look forward to your dh and dc returning home rather than being alone for the foreseeable ( struggling to word this right !!) then is just enjoy it , do as you have done and get lots of quality sleep !
Eat nice food , relax Infront of the tv and yes to a church service for some socialising !! Read some books !

I was Massivley craving just a few hours to relax with literally nothing to do and I had that yesterday for about 6 hours . It was amazing . Didn't move from the sofa except to go to the fridge and read almost all of my new book. Bliss !!! I say make the best of it and really have a good relax!!

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 23/12/2017 21:55

Not this year, but I've done it in the past, although I've always had company on Christmas day itself. I find it very enjoyable. One time I asked for binge watching recommendations from Mumsnet and had a whale of a time watching all five series of Fringe.

LivLemler · 23/12/2017 21:56

For anyone who fancies it, Sarah Millican runs #JoinIn on Twitter every year on Christmas Day, for those spending it alone or having a tough time. It's mostly just people chatting about their day and may be a bit of company for anyone feeling lonely.

Flupi · 23/12/2017 22:04

I know quite a few people who spend it alone. They all say they enjoy having a day where they can indulge themselves without having to look after anyone, cook anything etc. Eat chocolates, drink prosecco, watch box sets. One friend buys a Stilton and port and eats drinks that.

TooManyPaws · 23/12/2017 22:07

I am and I love it! I have good food laid in, a bottle of cava, my dogs to cuddle and plenty to read or watch on TV. I am a bit of an introvert and really enjoy my time to myself.

After my parents died people would say - oh, you can't be alone at Christmas! Frankly, I like being able to potter and to have a drink and not have to rush back for the dogs. It also means no screaming fits of anger and me trying to cook or wash up through tears while ranting and raving is going on in the next room.

oliveinacampervan · 23/12/2017 22:08

@ElvisChristmas

As a pp said, I find it very odd that your DH has gone away and taken your child and left you!

No way in hell would my husband ever do that!

If we couldn't afford for all of us to go, none of us would go.

Is there more to this story?

I have never spent Christmas alone, but if I was ever in that position, I would rather be alone than have people take pity on me and insist I went to their house.

I would HATE that; sitting there awkwardly, making bland conversation, unable to fart, or lie down, or take off my bra, or neck back a bottle of wine and dance to Slade in my underpants. Fuck that.

If I WAS alone, I would tell people I was going away...... Coz no way would I be going to anyone else's house.

As a pp said, I am happy in my own company. Though I know it doesn't suit everyone.

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