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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to call my sisters boyfriend and tell him his a selfshish d****head

31 replies

Generallyok · 23/12/2017 20:29

Sisters partner has up and left and moved back in with his parents who have been actively trying to split them up for ages as they think they are better than her. He has left her with a 10 month baby and a 3 year old. She lets him have access he wants which works out one day a week. Today the baby has become quite poorly during the day while in his care. He has been dosing him with calpol every 4 hours even though she pointed out it is every 6 hours. He didn't let her know until he brought him back tonight. He has cold hands and feet and watery poo nappies and seems very poorly. Made an emergency appointment to see dr so tried to call him and left message to say urgent, could he look after 3 year old who is asleep in bed. My mum and Dad have had to make the journey to her house now as he wont answer phone even though he is glued to it all day. Eventually texted back to say whats wrong with him? Wont make to the journey of 4 miles to look after 3 year old. AIBU to call him to say tell him I am disgusted with him?

OP posts:
JontyDoggle37 · 23/12/2017 20:31

I would invest your time in helping your sister get that baby to A&E pronto instead.....

KalaLaka · 23/12/2017 20:32

I would stay out of it and support your sister. Calling him won't get you anywhere, unfortunately. You'll probably just get into a massive family row.

passmethewineplease · 23/12/2017 20:32

He sounds a delight.

Focus on your sister and her DC for now.

YANBU for wanting to bollock him.

CaptainChristmas · 23/12/2017 20:32

Stay out of it and support your sister

This^^

MotherOfDragons22 · 23/12/2017 20:34

Calpol is usually given 4 hourly no?

chocolateorangeowls · 23/12/2017 20:35

He sounds like an idiot, but you'll only make things worse by doing this. Be there to support your sister.

Original poster
Generallyok · 23/12/2017 20:36

My mum and Dad are there but I am so cross as they are in their 70's so not ideal. My dh away visiting elderly mother otherwise I would have gone as I have 2 dcs. What I wanted to know really is if you are separated would your dh help out?

OP posts:
CaptainChristmas · 23/12/2017 20:37

Also thought calpol was every 4 hours. He still sounds dreadful.

StrugglingAlbion · 23/12/2017 20:37

It is four hours is it not..?

Original poster
Generallyok · 23/12/2017 20:37
  • your ex dh
OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtBawbag · 23/12/2017 20:38

Calpol can be given every 4-6 hours when required, he followed the correct dosage.

Was he at work etc...

I think your best left out of it, focus on your sister and let your sister deal with the children’s father.

KalaLaka · 23/12/2017 20:40

My ex would not help, as he's an idiot. If I split from my current partner, I imagine he would help as he's a decent father and person.

Original poster
Generallyok · 23/12/2017 20:42

Yes sorry I know you can give calpol after 4 hour but you can only 4 times so now she has to go through the night with no more doses. Cant give him nurofen.

OP posts:
CaptainChristmas · 23/12/2017 20:42

My brother is separated and I’d like to think he would help out if one of his dcs had to go to hospital.

CaptainChristmas · 23/12/2017 20:43

Oh sorry, the baby isn’t in hospital! Don’t know where I got that from!

Aridane · 23/12/2017 20:44

You would be unreasonable to do so and would achieve nothing by this

IHaveBrilloHair · 23/12/2017 20:48

I honestly can't see what he's done wrong.
Break ups are awful, and hard, but I'm not sure there's anything wrong with his behaviour.

KalaLaka · 23/12/2017 20:51

I think he was right to keep up the calpol. He's shit for not looking after 3 year old. Your sister needs to find a support network to plan for these situations, as she's a single parent now: family, friends, paid babysitters She can't rely on her ex.

Original poster
Generallyok · 23/12/2017 20:51

I havebrillo maybe I am over reacting but I know that if my dh and I split up he would always be there for my kids. He refused to help out in an emergency. Why should my parents have to step in to do his role.

OP posts:
KeemaNaan · 23/12/2017 20:53

Any dad who isn’t prepared to look after one of his children while the mother takes the 3 month old baby to the doctor because the baby is ill is an arsehole. Full stop.

It’s not about the calpol, it’s about absolving yourself of parental responsibility just because you can.

KeemaNaan · 23/12/2017 20:54

OP, I can get why you’d want to contact him, but it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference.

Fatso1978 · 23/12/2017 20:57

Separation/divorce between people with children is very difficult.

Stay out of it. Be there for your sister and that's all. If you get worked up over this one small incident, which isn't even your business I think you will cause extra grief and stress for your sister.

Your Parents know if they can handle helping out or not.

Runlikeabull22 · 23/12/2017 21:05

Currently looking after my 2 poorly grandchildren to give their single parent dad a break. Their mother, my alcoholic daughter, is nowhere to be found. Not all dads are dead beats and why shouldn't grandparents help out? Not excusing his behaviour though

Amanduh · 23/12/2017 21:08

Calpol can be given more than 4 times if baby is ill.
He didnt do anything wrong there.
He's a dick with the other stuff though

Hortonlovesahoo · 23/12/2017 21:10

Support your sister here. She's the one that needs your support at the moment. Focusing on priorities; it's her and the kids. The complete asshat can wait.