To think I'm never going to hear the end of this

[Happyhippy45]

I am right to be annoyed at him aren't I?
Back story. I recently became quite disabled. (Mobility issues mostly.)
Dh has been working hard keeping our business going and ferrying me to dr appointments and what not. Stressful time for both of us.
Money is tight and there was talk (from him) of not doing Christmas as he didn't think we could afford to. We don't do extravagant. Never have.
He then started to speak about an item he really wants for Christmas that costs about £350. Which is more than the total I spend on presents for the family.. We had "words" about it. When he realised him saying we couldn't afford Christmas meant for him too, he back tracked and said we could still host but get folks to bring something.
He also suggested pushed me to askI ask (my) family to give him money towards the item he wants. I said no. It sounds really cheeky, especially as we're not giving great presents this year. He said he was fed up getting stuff he didn't want or need and would like money so he can save up for his item. I said maybe I'd suggest a gift voucher for the shop if they were stuck for ideas. No one asked for advice on what to get him this year.
He's now being a huffy shite and going on and on about why I didn't ask family. Even saying I did it out of spite.
He also says he's going to keep going on about it as punishment.
The item he wants is for a hobby of his.
He's on holiday for the next 2 weeks and I don't think we'll both survive it!
What can I do to get him to shut up about it and stop acting like a spoilt child?

This one is really tricky, I can see it from both angles (although your family is under no obligation to pay towards his hobby).

I think you need a frank discussion about the future.

I think the real issue here is that the OP feels her marriage is now more likely to come to an end because of her disability. I remember reading some research that statistically, when a wife is carer the marriage is less likely to end whereas when the husband is carer it is more likely to lead to divorce. Depressing

Depressing, but I'm not surprised by that statistic. Which is depressing in itself.

What's the hobby? I'm always fascinated by the mysterious hobbies on here.

And if your disability is quite new, as in you haven't always had it, maybe he is finding it hard to deal with? Is that worth leaving him over because he's struggling to cope? It can't be easy to watch someone you love fade before your eyes.

colouring yes it is depressing and something I can see happening before my eyes. He's moving further away from me.

emily I get that it's hard for him to accept all the changes. I've had my disability for a while but I had a relapse (ms) and it has severely effected my mobility. I have to use a wheelchair when I'm out and about and walkers and crutches etc at home.
He's not very supportive and I don't want to end up in a worse condition than I am now and have to rely on him for personal care. It makes me feel quite vulnerable. He is already being controlling. Not doing things because I asked him to. Cutting off his nose to spite his face kind of stuff. It might just take him a while to adjust but it's not pleasant being on the receiving end.
His hobby is nothing exotic. He spends a lot in the music/guitar store though.

He's not very supportive and I don't want to end up in a worse condition than I am now and have to rely on him for personal care. It makes me feel quite vulnerable. He is already being controlling. Not doing things because I asked him to. Cutting off his nose to spite his face kind of stuff. It might just take him a while to adjust but it's not pleasant being on the receiving end

I completely understand. I'm guessing there's a huge difference between being upset and struggling to almost using it as a stick to beat with you.

It's sad that you dream about having carers look after you because the person you thought you could rely on actually makes you feel vulnerable.