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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Copycat - getting a bit OTT now.

53 replies

CopCopyCopyCat · 23/12/2017 15:01

I have a friend who has over recent years been copying me.

It started out as small things, random items of clothing hair colour few items of decor round the house etc.

Last year this friend moved into a house on our estate, the house is identical to ours. This didn’t bother me in the slightest as I live my life she lives hers and at the time it was nice to have her local as we were really good friends.

Although i was a little put out that they have decorated it very similar and laid out their furniture almost identical. But my DH pointed out I should be flattered that they liked our home so much they decided to copy it.

I feel it has gone really OTT now, it’s been gradual over the years.

She is a similar build to me all be it taller than me. She wears very similar/ identical clothes and has the almost identical hair colour and cut (she goes to my salon and requests this)

2 months ago my DH got me a car for our wedding anniversary. Not a new car a 2013 plate convertible. I’ve loved them since they came out but having kids with buggy’s at the time it wasn’t practical.

She’s just messaged me with a picture of her new car. Surprise surprise it’s the same car and colour.

I’m really struggling to find the words to tell her to get a life, her own life not mine.

There has been loads of other things as well that I’ve lost track of over the years as it a common occurrence.

WWYD how would you deal with this?

I am now at the end of my tether with her and I don’t know what to say. But feel I need to say something.

OP posts:

cakeymccakington · 23/12/2017 15:03

I don't think I would say anything but I'd back right off from the friendship tbh

Alternatively regale her with tales of expensive things you're about to buy and watch her go and buy them

mummmy2017 · 23/12/2017 15:07

Get some cruise details and leave them round the house , mark one for next Christmas and keep going on about how much your looking forward to it,,, make sure husband knows your joking, then ask your friend which view she likes best...

Then next week say to her, I hope you didn't copy me and book the cruise as we have decided not to go...

YouTheCat · 23/12/2017 15:20

Buy some interesting wigs.

StealthPolarBear · 23/12/2017 15:23

Seriously this is all juvenile. Ignore

MrsExpo · 23/12/2017 15:30

Join one of those car clubs which let you “borrow” a Ferrari (or similar). Leave it parked on your drive and see what she does .....

Or alternatively, cool the friendship right down and ignore.

abbsisspartacus · 23/12/2017 15:33

Reply , you should have said you could have bought mine! Im looking for another >insert car type < this one is a pita

TwinklyGiraffe · 23/12/2017 15:35

There aren’t that many ways to lay out furniture!

GrimDamnFanjo · 23/12/2017 15:37

This is really sad. How close a friend is she? I'd ignore if she was a good friend apart from the copying. Remember you'll always be ahead and she'll always be catching up. It sounds like she may lack self esteem or confidences in her choices.

BiggapTwins · 23/12/2017 15:38

Personally, I'd be a little bit scared! The behaviour is not just bizarre, itis down-right psychotic! Then I'd be brave and take her out to lunch, just to discuss. Packing tissues and a list of 'evidence', I'd ask her can she see my point. "Why though? Why do you do this? It makes me feel ... and, as much as I like you, it's getting in the way of our otherwise great friendship." Oh, I'd wear a Flack Jacket too!

morningconstitutional2017 · 23/12/2017 15:39

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. She obviously really likes how you do things, thinks they look great and wants to be just like you. I can see that taking it to this extreme seems a bit daft though.

PricillaQueenOfTheDesert · 23/12/2017 15:40

I can understand how annoying this is but you can’t tell another adult that she can’t wear the same clothes or have the same hair style.

Seriously, I’d start dropping hints about another hair colour or winter coat and let her buy the ‘wrong’ outfits.

letsdolunch321 · 23/12/2017 15:41

Ignore her.

She sounds very small minded not having her own ideas!!

JustVent · 23/12/2017 15:41

She bought the same car, colour and year.

Sure she did.

VladmirsPoutine · 23/12/2017 15:46

I say you embrace it and let her shag your DH too. It will provide her with a truly authentic experience of your life.

FixItUpChappie · 23/12/2017 15:47

It would be good to reflect on if she is copying you or if you both follow similar tends that millions of people like, buy and try to copy? People all over read the same magazines, try for the same interiors, wear similar hair cuts.....just saying. Everyone likes to think they are all individual but are part of the mainstream IYKWIM?

I had a friend who got her nose pierced cause it was soooo cool and individual (in the 90s when it was common as dirt) and thought I was copying her when I did the same

Gemini69 · 23/12/2017 15:50

I had a friend who did this... I distanced myself so far away from her.. it's not normal behaviour ...

Single White Female alert

Lovemusic33 · 23/12/2017 15:56

I think I could put up with most of it but the car thing is a bit odd, she could have got it in a different colour.

I have had a few friends in the past that have copied me, usually I feel flattered, it doesn’t really bother me as I’m the ‘original’ , it’s up to them if they want to look silly.

She obviously thinks your life is much better than hers.

TheSameCoin · 23/12/2017 15:59

Are you sure you’re not seeing things that aren’t there? Loads of people who follow fashion end up having similar styles of hair. And it’s hardly uncommon for people to experiment with hair colour now and then. My best friend has just dyed her hair red. Mine is also red at the mo. But she’s not copying me, she just fancied a change. Likewise, there are only so many ways to lay out furniture in a house, particularly if it’s not massive. I have several friends who live in Victorian terraces. Their room layouts are all very similar but that’s because it’s the most logical way to fit everything in!

The car thing is a bit weird but presumably she saw how much you liked your car and wanted a similar one. It’s hardly an unforgivable sin.

Lindy2 · 23/12/2017 16:03

Very weird. I think I'd be cooling that friendship quite quickly.

BalloonSlayer · 23/12/2017 16:04

Tell her you are getting a full back tattoo?

TatianaLarina · 23/12/2017 16:10

It’s very odd I’m not surprised you’re perturbed. It’s not flattering it’s just weird

I like the suggestions of expensive things you won’t actually buy.

I’d avoid her personally.

stilltheykeepcoming · 23/12/2017 16:13

Time to make some expensive 'purchases'.

Something like maybe a piano. Or a motorbike. Or a hot tub for the garden. Or a huge diamond ring. Or tickets in a box at the Royal Opera House.

You can rent pianos, so get one for a month, and make sure she sees it. Take a photo of a friend's motorbike and show it to her, saying you are getting your dp one as a surprise birthday/anniversary present. Leave hot tub brochures strewn about the place. Buy a dirt-cheap ring from Primark. Lie about the tickets.

Sit back and wait.

yamadori · 23/12/2017 16:15

I have two SILs and one has started copying the other- I am watching with interest.

Ellendegeneres · 23/12/2017 16:16

I like the wig idea. Go for a number 3 all over style, wear it when you see her and gush that you're just absolutely in love with your low maintenance do 😂

Thedietstartsnow · 23/12/2017 16:23

Block and move on

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