Copycat - getting a bit OTT now.

[CopCopyCopyCat]

I have a friend who has over recent years been copying me.

It started out as small things, random items of clothing hair colour few items of decor round the house etc.

Last year this friend moved into a house on our estate, the house is identical to ours. This didn’t bother me in the slightest as I live my life she lives hers and at the time it was nice to have her local as we were really good friends.

Although i was a little put out that they have decorated it very similar and laid out their furniture almost identical. But my DH pointed out I should be flattered that they liked our home so much they decided to copy it.

I feel it has gone really OTT now, it’s been gradual over the years.

She is a similar build to me all be it taller than me. She wears very similar/ identical clothes and has the almost identical hair colour and cut (she goes to my salon and requests this)

2 months ago my DH got me a car for our wedding anniversary. Not a new car a 2013 plate convertible. I’ve loved them since they came out but having kids with buggy’s at the time it wasn’t practical.

She’s just messaged me with a picture of her new car. Surprise surprise it’s the same car and colour.

I’m really struggling to find the words to tell her to get a life, her own life not mine.

There has been loads of other things as well that I’ve lost track of over the years as it a common occurrence.

WWYD how would you deal with this?

I am now at the end of my tether with her and I don’t know what to say. But feel I need to say something.

I'd say that's a bit weird it's exactly like my car and see what she says

A couple who live opposite us do this to an extent. We both sold our cars (dp and I) two years ago and bought two secondhand convertibles. A week later, they also had a convertible.

They have Santa's grotto set up outside their house but we had bought one of the projectors this year and now they have gone and bought one as well.

I'm not sure it's copying rather than competing. I find it tedious and irritating. Even getting my hair coloured, she got the same colour as me.

Send her a copy of Single White Female on DVD for Christmas.

The furniture layout really isn’t odd-there aren’t many differences you can have in most identical houses. Hair and fashion isn’t that odd either-many of my friends have similar tastes in clothes and hair. The car thing is odd-I would have said, ‘OMG-it’s my car, are you my stalker?!

I’d get a large temporary tattoo...

I had someone who did this with me, and it didn't end well.

She copied little things (traditions/activities/clothes etc) and also bigger things (house, job, even married a member of my husband's family to get the same surname).

Initially, I was OK with it, although I found it irritating, because I thought we were good friends. But I increasingly found it uncomfortable and suffocating and began to gently distance myself. But then things started going wrong in her life (unhappy marriage, poor relationship with parents, difficult children) and she went absolutely crazy with me. She seemed to think it was somehow my fault that her life was so rubbish. She'd literally turn up at parties and start shouting and screaming at me -really, really crazy.

The thing is, she's always been unhappy and insecure. She was trying to emulate my life, because she was unhappy with her life. But of course, it didn't work. My life is lovely for me(albeit it a bit mundane and boring), because it's mine. Her attempt to copy it was an act, so it wasn't sustainable, and of course it all went wrong.

I feel desperately sorry for her, her life is a car crash, and she's never really been happy or secure in herself. But I don't have anything at all to do with her now. And I'd run like the clappers from anyone displaying that kind of behaviour again. If someone needs to copy your life to that extent, it shows a real insecurity in them that they can't just confident to be themselves.

(I do agree though re trends/fashions - an overlap in those is normal. But buying the same house/car - that's ringing big alarm bells with me given my previous experience)

I suspect that she has no self-confidence and envies you for being comfortable in your own skin and confident in your choices. You could try re-directing her on to someone else, tell her that you wish you had X's dress sense, Y's ability to find perfect retro furniture or that you lived where Z lives. Every time you buy something new appear to be unsure about whether you made the right choice or not.

I know it's not harmful to you, but I would find it a little unsettling too.

Don't post your photos on FB OP... try to stop her seeing your life...

Vlad

Shave your head!

Agree with PP, are your choices for decor and fashion popular right now? There might be things which seem similar if they are easily available so she might have just been inspired by things she has seen on pinterest which happen to be similar to your tastes.

The car thing sounds a bit weird though! I would say just to stick to your guns and try not to make too much of a fuss. Dont let her in on so much of your life so she cant copy you.

I say you embrace it and let her shag your DH too. It will provide her with a truly authentic experience of your life.

Several things you could try:

Buy the most vile wash in/wash out hair colour you can find. Use it just before you meet with her.

Buy a realistic and large stick on tattoo and put somewhere it shows, like your neck - tell her it wasn't very painful, and you love it so much you are thinking of getting more done.

Send off for emigration papers to Australia, start filling in and leave in a prominent place in your house.

lf she copies the last one that's an ultimate win

I will absolutely be distancing myself from now on. I just feel so suffocated by it all.

I understand what you are saying regarding fashion and decor. Our houses are quite modern and nearly everyone has the same decor on there windowsill those huge letters selling out HOME and flowers. And you go in every shop atm and they have the identical stuff to the next shop. I totally get that.

But a few things she has that’s quite unique to us (in my opinion anyway)

I never put anything on Facebook ever as I’m a quite private person.

It’s strange as it’s like she’s having a one sided competition with me. She must not see anything wrong in what she’s doing as it comes across as boastful in what she’s doing, she’s very open with it too. I’m forever getting picture messages with look what I’ve just got.

Loving the tattoo and wig ideas, I’ve actually just started wearing hair pieces as my hairs quite short I can just about tie it back. The only reason I got them was too look different from her as I’m stuck until this style grows out. I may go and get a few more different styles.

I would just tell her. This would piss me off so much. Yes it's petty to other people but living this would be horriable. Next time she asks where i got something or whatever i would say "I'm not telling you as i dont want my friend matching" when we are out we look ridiculous and I like being my own person

vladimirspoutine 😂😂😂

Provided that you aren't wesrongjoules bretton tops and doing ypur house to look like catch kidson threw up all over it (in which case she's actually not copying you anymore that you are copying the other million C2 mummies out there) I would actually be really concerned. This really isn't normal behaviour. Maybe do something really out of character for you (like a nose piercing-fake obviously, or start wearing make up or whatever it is) and see if she does it too. If she does then she is actually copying you, if not then you just have very similar taste.

Why don't you call her out on it but in a slightly piss-taking way? Say something like, "Oh! It's identical to mine!! Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, I suppose !" It'll be interesting to hear her response!!

..

My nephew is the same age as my daughter. My sister in law copies absolutely everything we do for DD (they are both 3). She gets a new toy, nephew will have it within a few days. She redecorated his room as soon as she found out we had redecorated DD's. We plan a nice outing and she takes him on the same one the following week.

I won't lie, it fucking winds me right up. But it's not like I can say much because then it looks like I begrudge my nephew nice things (of course I don't). It's like she doesn't have an original thought in her head. The only stuff she ever does with him is stuff she has copied from us.

So my New Years resolution is the deletion of Facebook and Instagram. Which sucks because I like them and I like my extended family to be able to see what we are up to, photos of the kids etc (they all live a few hours away). But I need to come this "friendship" for my own sanity. She is awful.

Well everyone's homes look very similar to me these days, I just think current furnishing trends are very samey. Same goes for clothes fashions as well IMO. We aren't as unique as we like to think we are

I do agree it's very annoying though but you can't really complain to her though without sounding petty. There's even a chance she's not aware that she's copying you so much. I have an colleague who I try not to wear my favorite clothes and shoes around, since she will inevitably go out and try to hunt down the same thing. I have also been known to shop online from overseas clothing brands (where I have extended family living) so when this colleague asks where I got x item I just say I don't know, it was a gift from my cousin.

What house things has she copied? Most houses are actually decorated very similarly to their peers.

If it’s been going on years though and it really bothers you-why don’t you say something?

Struggling you can block her from seeing your posts, no need to delete your accounts. Or you can allow only certain people to see pics you've posted. I'd do this if I were you, no need to let old copypants force you off social media.

Don't just talk about getting a tattoo - actually get one, only make it a fake one. Go for one of those tacky sleeve ones, make a fuss about how much it hurt but you think it was worth it, and sit back and enjoy her misery when she has it done. Then remove yours & when she notices just pretend you don't know what she's on about! She'll not be copying you again too soon!

Def get a “tattoo”

I think the tattoos a great idea. Find someone who’s good at photo shop and get them to make a photo of you with a massive tattoo, post the photo to your friend (text or Facebook), tell her how it was a bit painful but sooo worth it. Sit back and wait for her to copy.