Totally irrational Yuletide anger this way!

[MotherOfBeagles]

So I know this is ridiculous but I don't care. I'm seriously and cheerfully considering chopping my husbands balls off with a rusty spoon over this.

My son is 7 weeks old today and totally adorable. In order to memorialise his first Christmas I bought him a sickeningly sweet Christmas outfit with dinosaurs wearing Christmas hats on it. Love it.

I then found wrapping paper with dinosaurs wearing christmas hats. Genius.

Perfect picture to treasure forever, my baby boy in his outfit, surrounded by his presents wrapped in special paper, under the tree on Christmas Eve. One to love and always treasure.

Left husband alone and I went to do the food shop this morning. He took the opportunity to wrap my presents. He went in the cupboard and IGNORED the TEN, that's right, TEN open and totally wife appropriate glittery and pretty rolls of wrapping paper and dug to the back for the special dinosaur paper. That's right ladies and gentlemen my douchebag husband used the entire roll to wrap two tiny ass presents - because he's incompetent as well as irritating.

Now I know this irrational. I know my son won't know his first Christmas presents were in rubbish wrapping paper. But I can't take my beautiful themed picture now.

So I'm going to drug the OHs salmon and then cheerfully remove his bollocks.

Anyone else feeling irrational Christmas rage?

Aha, I think I'm the DH this year. Except I'm pregnant and sick with hyperemesis so DH has had to do everything. He's brilliant the rest of the year, but I do Christmas because I genuinely enjoy it. Can't this year though.
It's been very amusing to behold. The tailspin over wrapping our nephew's presents was epic. They are getting pj's and he was frantically trying to remember what age they all were. Then I requested marmalade, something I never eat (but aforementioned pregnancy and hyperemesis) and this was truly baffling. But WHY did I want marmalade?

Bless him, he's done well thought, hasn't moaned or complained and my present has been under the tree for a week though. He did the last minute present purchase once, and once only. Ordered a lovely necklace with a ten day delivery time the week before Christmas. I pulled him up on that very quickly. Like I say, I like doing Christmas, I don't martyr myself for anybody, but it takes fifteen minutes to buy something online and check the dates match. No excuse for leaving it late

Oh Witchend, please tell us! You can't leave us hanging like that. I'm stuck to my sofa and can only participate vicariously in Christmas fuckery.

I cannot stop laughing at the Jacobs crackers instead of crackers, sorry!

DH is on a 12 hour shift so I’m doing last minute wrapping etc. Then he texts me and says “don’t worry about cooking babe, we can just have cheese and biscuits when I get in”....can we?! I cooked a chicken curry last night in prep for us both having a busy day today and we don’t have cheese and biscuits in other than the ones we were supposed to have for Christmas Day evening. But in all honesty I’d rather have cheese and biscuits so have frozen the curry and am off to buy more cheese...

The dog is driving me INSANE. It’s his first Christmas and he is curious, terrified and excited in equal measure. He’s a husky so a big dog and is constantly tearing though the living room at 100mph and then howling/talking incessantly at the noise of wrapping paper.

Ugh. I might need more vodka.

I have the rage here. DH has done absolutely fuck all and now starts with the questions, what about this? Have we done that? Etc etc, currently sorting upstairs in my own before I kill everyone in our house

I know lost, mean aren't I but it wouldn't be worth the fall out. I'm a cross between irritated and highly amused as it's clear their aim.
If I just say what they're hoping for is DH spending the afternoon teaching their infant age PFB while the rest of the family sit round and gasp about how brilliant he is. PFB will have no interest in doing that and will actually want to rush round with the rest of the cousins. If he genuinely was interested then anything he will understand either if his parents could teach him, and several of the adults who are staying with him are more or better qualified in the subject. Dh has been chosen because we're only there Christmas day so it can be done in front of everyone and he is acknowledged to be the most academic of the family so it makes PFB look more important.
That's (with a bit of changing a few details) roughly the gist.

Oh that's lovely Witchend, the basic outline is actually better than the more detailed version. More scope for imagination. Now picturing your poor DH (an expert on ancient Egypt) overseeing a PFB 7 year old's playdough replica of the pyramids as bored relatives are forced to watch

something like that.

Pray to the patron saint of women at c mas ! Haha . I asked dh to do shopping - he said can I have the list ( presumed I'd done it etc ) so I said which list
The food list
The present list
The Boxing Day list
Or the were we are going we're list !
He was confused .
I asked him to get pasty case for a quiche - returned with sweet pastry case . Joy to the world .

I've just gone back to work a few weeks ago after having a years maternity leave after having DD2 who is now 1 (DD1 is now 3). Maternity leave was bloody hard work at times juggling the pair of them, and I was often resentful of the 'break' DH got going to work. DH also expected me to do the majority of the housework / domestic stuff since I was home. Since I'm back at work he's finally having to do some day-long periods of looking after both DDs on his own when nursery isn't available and I think is finally starting to realise how exhausting it is looking after a baby and toddler all day on his own.

Fast forward to the fact that I had a shower etc this morning and spent about half an hour upstairs whilst DH played with the kids (and he also had them all day yesterday whilst I was at work). Apparently they spent a lot of this time squabbling. When I came down after my shower I made some comment about something that needed doing before we had to leave to go to my Mum's which he hadn't done yet and he said 'I don't think you realise how hard it is looking after both girls and getting stuff done'. I was like 'erm, yes I fucking do since I've just done a whole year of it'! He was lucky I didn't lynch him.