Totally irrational Yuletide anger this way!

[MotherOfBeagles]

So I know this is ridiculous but I don't care. I'm seriously and cheerfully considering chopping my husbands balls off with a rusty spoon over this.

My son is 7 weeks old today and totally adorable. In order to memorialise his first Christmas I bought him a sickeningly sweet Christmas outfit with dinosaurs wearing Christmas hats on it. Love it.

I then found wrapping paper with dinosaurs wearing christmas hats. Genius.

Perfect picture to treasure forever, my baby boy in his outfit, surrounded by his presents wrapped in special paper, under the tree on Christmas Eve. One to love and always treasure.

Left husband alone and I went to do the food shop this morning. He took the opportunity to wrap my presents. He went in the cupboard and IGNORED the TEN, that's right, TEN open and totally wife appropriate glittery and pretty rolls of wrapping paper and dug to the back for the special dinosaur paper. That's right ladies and gentlemen my douchebag husband used the entire roll to wrap two tiny ass presents - because he's incompetent as well as irritating.

Now I know this irrational. I know my son won't know his first Christmas presents were in rubbish wrapping paper. But I can't take my beautiful themed picture now.

So I'm going to drug the OHs salmon and then cheerfully remove his bollocks.

Anyone else feeling irrational Christmas rage?

Or perhaps just serve hers raw and unpeeled 🤣

My husband once bought Jacobs crackers instead of party crackers. So I asked my mum to bring some from her house as I knew she had some. And she also brought cream crackers!!

Oh don't. We seem to have the most immense collection of special number birthday/kids birthday/adult birthday/xmas/anniversary/generic metalic/baby born and gawd knows what other event wrapping paper.

It is all rolled, elastic banded and stood neatly in bags per catagory. As much choice as you could wish for (where is it all bloody coming from!?)

Anyway - DH still often manages to wrap xmas presents in birthday paper and vice versa. Or his 10 year old nephews present in welcome baby paper sigh

I have one present left to wrap. I need the table to do it on.

DP has spent the afternoon putting together DGD's Ikea kitchen, ready to take over tomorrow. It's finished, and he is intending to wrap it in cardboard to protect it in transit, then put Christmas paper on it. He has now fucked off out to get fish and chips, and left the bloody thing and loads of cardboard taking up the entire fucking table. There are two chances of him finishing it tonight: fat, and slim.

I've got to go and collect the sodding turkey tomorrow and when I get back it will probably be time to leave to go over there.

Why he can't ever finish what he's doing before he starts doing something else is beyond me.

I may just have to stab him, bury him under the patio and eat all the food myself. Fuck the fucking Duktig kitchen.

lakie I totally feel your pain! Just finish a job! Or if they do it's half arsed so you have to redo it anyway.

Can you conveniently move the kitchen to block something he will want? Like the tv?

His excuse? I didn't think you'd want me to use the open ones and it was at the back so assumed you didn't like it

Hang on, he thought you didn't like the wrapping paper, so chose to wrap your presents in it?

I'd be fuming...dinosaur outfit sounds lush though

I lost it today... over scissors. I don't want to use your -stupid and blunt- craft scissors to cut the wrapping paper. .. I want one of the 20 million pairs of scissors that i bought that fucking disappear to wherever the fuck the odd socks go. FIND MY SCISSORS!!!

Oh Jesus, I've had the rage tears this evening
He's been off work all week. I'm ft and been working this week.
Im catering for both sides of the family this year. Lots of people.
Has he lifted a finger? has he fuck! He's built a new table and fucked off out on the piss. Leaving said table half done, taking up all the space.
I've cleaned, bought, wrapped, baked, planned, you name it.
Then he the gall to tell me he's tired and been busy!
I'm taking the bread knife to him once he's asleep.

And btw, not irrational. Perfectly rational.

Also, whilst I'm ranting, I've had to use up some of last years glittery shit Tesco reindeer wrapping paper in desperation and not only am I now red in the face and crying. I also am smeared in gold glitter.
I fucking give up

You lot have nothing to complain about my lovely dh has gone down with MAN FLU! He promised to do ironing tomorrow and change beds, is lying on the sofa reminding of said MAN FLU with pathetic sniffs and coughs. Bless him. He also (once) gave me my presents unwrapped . Merry Christmas all x

Nevermind op, you know the second the camera comes out your ds will poo/puke/face plant/cry anyway...

Still, snip away, he probably deserves it.

Also, also, also: just realised if he's got me anything he has he's going to have to use the rest of the glittery paper and it'll be all over the house

Op, please send spare ironed dinosaur paper when you're done, ta.

motoko I hadn't even clocked that. Now I'm even madder. Idiot man.

raccoon it's from next! It's adorable I luffs it. My make him wear it next year. Even if he can only fit one leg in it by then 😂

sickof oh god the bloody scissors! I feel your pain!

tidy I've now decided in your situation you should simply not allow the lazy feckers to profit from your hard work, they get no food, baked goods or presents. That'll learn them! Also yes yes yes to the shitty glittery paper. My house is covered in it and every time I move I look like fucking tinkerbell with glitter falling off me.

four is your dh my step dad? Both my step dad and my 24 year old brother have been and dumped their gifts for other people on me this week, for me to wrap. Thing is if I don't they won't get wrapped and then I feel awful. Also best thing for man flu is getting up and about that's what I always tell me dh 😈

Thanks dollface i have the scissors next to the bed for the minute he passes out lol

Thanks op
He has redeemed himself slightly by finishing the table, cutting all the dead bits off the tree and refilling my wine glass so joy and peace are momentarily restored. For now.

If you have a Paperchase local to you they have T-rex Santa Hat wrapping paper if this helps?

trombone that's the one! But unfortunately my nearest paperchase is the Trafford Centre. 45 minutes away on a good day. Not a snowballs chance I'm going on Christmas Eve lol

OP, I'd assumed your DH's first task in the morning will be to go out and buy replacement dinosaur Santa hat paper? Taking your DS with him of course so you get a break.

Not wrapping paper, or s really helpful suggestion but H&M have dinosaurs in santa hats bow-ties for boys, m2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0521031001.html

I have the rage tonight . DD discovered the chocolate Brussels sprout bags I had concealed I thought in a foolproof location . And then she ate them and tried to hide the evidence under MY bed . So she’s eaten her own stocking goodies , because I’ll make damn sure that everyone else gets some , and I’m tempted to break into her selection box and remove one of the items , and leave the others artfully chewed . Then look blank when she realises , and claim it must have been the reindeer ....

How did he manage to miss the opened, appropriate wrapping paper and get past it to the sealed dinosaur roll? How? Is he trying to wind you up?

Don’t get me started on selfish husbands at Christmas. I may never stop. Been up to my eyes all week but still had to shop and cook for husband and (grown up, fussy) stepchildren today whilst they and husband sprawled on sofa ALL DAY watching Frozen and other stuff! Had the cheek to complain that I hadn’t bought the right bagels at M&S after fighting my way through the car park to collect Christmas food order AS I HAVE DONE FOR OUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE. I bags next go of Tidybadger’s bread knife.

Take the picture of your DS with your presents next to it, so it looks nice with the matching paper. Then switch the presents and let DS open his.
He won't remember when he grows up, and you'll have the picture.

Ok ladies. It's official he's a dead man.

He's decided to go and buy my main present today. Today! So if he toddles to the shops after having a leisurely breakfast whilst I bathed fed and changed baby.

Now he's at the shops and he's going to sit down and have some dinner. Sushi. My fucking favourite. Whilst I'm at home balancing said baby who is now screaming as well as needing to pack the car to go to my parents for two days.

Oh yeah. The car he fucking has! So instead I'm just packing bags and piling them next to the door.

When I said it's a bit unfair as I can't eat and haven't even had a drink yet today his solution? Eat some of the food in the fridge that's ready for the Boxing Day buffet we are hosting.

He best sleep with one eye fucking open tonight😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

I heard on the radio this morning, that 70% of Christmas Eve shoppers are men.

Does he realise that it's Sunday opening hours?

We've got a scythe in the shed if you want to borrow it.

Apparently there's men every year that dash into Halfords at 5 minutes before closing time and proclaim Halfords has ruined Christmas when the staff say they're not able to make up the bike of their choosing in 5 minutes.

My particular irritation is a pretentious PFB parent on dh's side who has done something that if I posted it would cause a certain amount of hilarity and I don't really want to risk being outed.
DH wouldn't send my chosen reply which was along the lines of his present to PFB would be to teach them not to be a pretentious twat as that is clearly something they'll not be able to learn from their parents.
Unfortunately, or possibly fortunately for Christmas day harmony, DH just rolls his eyes and ignores. My eyes would be permanently facing the back of my head if I tried that.

Roll on Boxing Day.