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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bus driver presumed i had a bus pass

82 replies

bestthings · 22/12/2017 17:08

Aibu to feel slightly offended by this. I DO have a bus pass because i have recently become a pensioner. I really didn't think i looked that old though, especially today, was dressed trendy, had taken time with hair and makeup. But when i got on the bus, had to have a little run to get it, bus driver smiled and said, "you should have your bus pass ready" when i got my purse out. I mean, what if i wasn't a pensioner, surely he shouldn't just presume? What do you all think. Feel really old now. Sad

OP posts:
IamEarthymama · 22/12/2017 18:31

I use the bus loads and I LOVE my bus pass with a passion!Xmas Grin
I used to feel like you and want the driver to be 'oh, I can't believe this lovely woman is a PENSIONER!"

Of course, they don't feel like that, I look like their mum or even their Nan, I have a 20 year old grandson.
One of the things I like about being older is the lessening pressure to worry about how I look. I am quite vain so do try to look at least clean and tidy Xmas Wink but will go out to the local shop with no make up.
My younger self would have been horrified at the very idea.

I too can't retire yet, so my bus pass feels as like two fingers to the ideology of austerity which will have me working until I dig my own grave. (Suitably attired and looking a million dollars, of course 🤣)

MissBax · 22/12/2017 18:34

When you think about it isn't it a great way to put a woman down if you're that sort of bloke

What??? He clearly meant ANY pass, not
OAP for goodness sake

Annelind · 22/12/2017 18:39

what miffed me was they upped the stakes just before i was the right age to retire lol

This! instead of staggering it over more time, the goalposts are moved without any thought to the effect on 1950s born women. WASPI campaign about it, but our wretched Government don't give a flying fuck.

Evelynismyspyname · 22/12/2017 18:39

Why is correctly assessing your age a put down?

I've met so many people (not in any specific age group, anyone over about 24 Hmm ) who are convinced that they look young and fish for complements about it, and get offended if anyone correctly guesses their age. Anyone who asks you to guess their age is asking you to guess younger and has a chip on their shoulder about it. I desperately insulted a colleague by politely knocking 5 years off the age I thought she looked and as it turns out therefore correctly guessing her age, when she bizzarly asked me to guess, because she assumed I'd think she was at least ten years younger than she is. It's all very odd...

Original poster
bestthings · 22/12/2017 18:42

Yes but can you imagine if a woman was only in her 40s, it would be a huge put down then.

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JosephineBucket · 22/12/2017 18:43

isseywithcats That makes sense - any saving helps.

NovemberWitch · 22/12/2017 18:43

DS finds it fascinating, because he has Asperger’s, we spent a lot of time studying people and social codes. What to do and say, when the logical answer isn’t the right one. He is delighted when he pushes certain buttons to get a positive, happy response and it works. It’s like figuring out a code.

TheStarsAreMine · 22/12/2017 18:43

Sooooo...

  • You were looking in your purse for a bus pass.
  • The driver saw you were looking for a bus pass (looking for a pass is different to looking for change).
  • He told you that you should have had your pass ready.

I'm not really sure what there is to be offended by?

But AIBU when I get annoyed that the person at the front of the bus queue doesn't have their bus pass ready?

MissBax · 22/12/2017 18:44

Yes but can you imagine if a woman was only in her 40s, it would be a huge put down then

NOT IF HE MEANT ANY BUSS PASS, WHICH HE LIKELY DID!!!

Christ alive!!! Confused

BertieBotts · 22/12/2017 18:52

Confused but I meant of course he knew you were a pass user because of your behaviour.

He didn't assume you looked 65. He just assumed you had a bus pass. I had my last bus pass when I was 21. Calm down!

Roomster101 · 22/12/2017 18:53

So you are offended at the idea that someone might not think you are younger than you are? Where I live the vast majority of people who use buses will have a pass and it could be like that where you are so not surprising he assumed. Also he probably didn't even look closely at your face. You wouldn't be that interesting to him.

timeforabrewnow · 22/12/2017 19:00

What a fucking waste of saving for retirement. Embrace it. Own it. Fuck it.

What a great sentiment for those of us getting to be in our 50s/60s - I'm going to remember that...Grin

Amanduh · 22/12/2017 19:01

But.. you're not in your 40's. He didn't presume someone had a bus pass and wrongly insulted them. He thought you have a bus pass... Which you do...Jesus

Original poster
bestthings · 22/12/2017 19:07

Ahh ok, you've all made me feel better. I'm just being daft. Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
bestthings · 22/12/2017 19:10

But honestly, my behaviour wasn't such that it looked i was about to get a bus pass out. He wouldn't have had a clue, just quickly got my purse out. I was quick.

OP posts:
PinkietheElf · 22/12/2017 19:13

Surely it depends on time of day too - was it 7.30 in the morning and you were heading off to work, or 2 am and going to the shops, meeting someone for coffee as you are retired and dont' work???

Fiona1984 · 22/12/2017 19:14

I had a bus driver keep asking me for my (child) bus pass, he was new. The guy training him had to tell him. I was 21/22 at the time.

Original poster
bestthings · 22/12/2017 19:26

pinkie don't go shopping st 2am, also never go meeting anyone for coffee, is that relevant, you make it sound like you're a bit resentful i don't work? Worked for nearly 50 years, is that enough Confused

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TrojansAreSmegheads · 22/12/2017 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treeofhearts · 22/12/2017 19:46

If it was a local bus he probably does that route all the time and had seen you before so knew you had a pass. My local drivers barely look at my ticket anymore and often tell me not to bother getting it out. They all know who I am and that I have a monthly ticket and even sometimes say "see you at 6." when I get off because they know what bus I catch home. Most bus drivers recognise their regulars.

PickAChew · 22/12/2017 19:56

In our are you can use them first thing but it's a flat rate of 50p per passenger per journey before 9:30 with a concessionary pass. I have one for ds2 and used it to get him to school before he got transport provided.

To be fair, OP, if you describe yourself as trendy you probably do look your age :o

Makinglists · 22/12/2017 20:02

I got asked if i was Ds2 granma at out location children's Centre - i was mortified but not as the poor worked who said it when i said ' no im his mum' (disclaimer i was 44 at the time and a little disheveled but i thought i still looked young enough to be the mother of a three year oldConfused

Original poster
bestthings · 22/12/2017 20:20

How's that pickachew what the heck do ya think i'm wearing? Grin I don't agree with that anyway, clothes can make an enormous difference to how old you look. I know loads of women who look years younger than their age because they dress "trendy", whereas you can put years on yourself by dressing frumpy.

OP posts:
Original poster
bestthings · 22/12/2017 20:22

makinlusts not good, i'm always so careful how i address people, you just never know.

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BertieBotts · 22/12/2017 20:27

No but my point was that a bus driver can instantly tell if you're going in your purse for a pass vs if you're going to ask for a ticket. I've noticed it myself when I use buses. It's natural when you need to request something you'll tend to look at them and get their attention first whereas if you want to show them something you'll get that out first.

A layperson wouldn't have been able to tell but a bus driver who spends literally all day watching people show them passes or ask for tickets would know.