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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think DH should stay on his side of the bed

26 replies

LunarGirl · 22/12/2017 05:30

For two weeks now, DH has woken me up multiple times throughout the night by kicking me, pushing me into the wall, breathing in my face and generally just being a great big fucking bed hog.

Currently sitting on the end of the bed listening to him snoring and feeling quite murderous. My neck is killing me, presumably from the ridiculous positions I'm trying to get myself in to to actually have a little space. I've tried waking him up, physically moving him and maybe a little poking but he just ends up back on my side!

He says he doesn't know he's doing it. Says maybe it's his subconscious trying to be close to me well tell your subconscious to fuck off, I'm trying to sleep

I'm so tired! Just about got room for this bed so no chance of two single beds! Maybe I should send him to sleep on the floor. Or LTB, then I can starfish till my hearts content.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 22/12/2017 05:32

Could you swap sides? Might help.

Nousernameforme · 22/12/2017 05:33

Tell him he has the sofa until he can keep to his own side of the bed.

Original poster
LunarGirl · 22/12/2017 05:36

He won't swap sides. Apparently the right is, always has been and always will be, his side.

I threatened him with the sofa yesterday and he got all offended, asking why I wouldn't want to be close to him. I love being close to you DH, when I'm awake and you're awake. Not when you're asleep and I'm trying to and all I've got is your backside and cold fucking feet on me!

OP posts:
awifeyforlifey · 22/12/2017 05:37

You have my sympathy. When DH and I were first married he slept on his stomach with his arms bent elbow-outward and his hands under his pillow. So basically, with his elbow in my eye. He's very big and used to move about quite a lot in his sleep, so I was woken up several times by a sudden whack to the face when he changed positions. After the first week, I'd had enough and told him he could either sleep on his side or on the floor. Grin

I'm surprised I never had a black eye or such from it, they weren't gentle knocks. God knows how we would have explained that one.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 22/12/2017 05:42

I do this to DH and I find it very odd that he (and you) think there's any power I have over it!

I'm asleep! How can I not do something?

In the end I made DH change sides and it helped.

Original poster
LunarGirl · 22/12/2017 05:46

I know he's asleep Cheap

Doesn't stop me wanting to shove a pillow over his face and roll him on to the floor though.

It's fucking annoying!

OP posts:
TheHodgeHeg · 22/12/2017 05:47

Wake him up every time he wakes you up. Then he'll realise what a problem it is and work with you to sort it out.

Original poster
LunarGirl · 22/12/2017 05:47

I also know he probably can't help it. It's just weird that for 11 years we've slept next to each other perfectly harmoniously but the last two weeks have been like this.

OP posts:
stickytoffeevodka · 22/12/2017 05:50

I do this Blush

I always have done though, even as a child I wriggled and ended up in all sorts of ridiculous sleeping positions. DP is used to it and luckily he can get back to sleep pretty quickly once I've woken him up Blush

It's not intentional!

Situp · 22/12/2017 05:52

I feel your pain OP. I am afraid I am afraid that for me, sleeping is definitely not a team sport! I adore DH but when he is away overnight i have the best night sleep ever. We have a king size bed and i sleep hanging off my side so as not to lose my space.

He has a snore which starts as heavy breathing and then builds up to a roar so I now wake up as soon as he starts the breathing and seethe until the snoring starts and I can give him a poke to roll him over.

We also have the problem of temperature compatibility. He is a human space heater and I can't sleep when it is warm at all so our current compromise is that I sleep naked under a thin duvet and he sleeps in pyjamas with a hoodie on!

I am thinking of going to 2 single duvets as I think that will help with the temperature problem but don't want to offend him. Fortunately he knows it is in his best interests for me to have a good night's sleep!

JellyMouldJnr · 22/12/2017 06:10

What’s changed in the last two weeks OP? Is he worrying about something? Does he have a cold or something that’s making him uncomfortable ? Did it start when the weather turned colder? I think this is what you need to find out

Shmithecat · 22/12/2017 06:12

My dh is the same. We have a superking bed and he still ends up on my side. Gives me the fucking rage.

shushpenfold · 22/12/2017 06:16

My dh once very nearly broke my nose wit his ‘lead with your elbow’ turning over habit. It was such a whack, that I shouted and ended up crying and with blood from my nose. He was mortified and if he hadn’t believed me before that as to his penchant for moving in an ‘I’m a little tespot’ stylie, he certainly did after that.

littlepurplekitten · 22/12/2017 06:16

@LunarGirl

Separate beds. Separate rooms if poss. I don't know whose idea it was for people to sleep in the same bed but it's a ridiculous idea. It's almost impossible to sleep in the same bed with someone (long term.) You simply cannot sleep properly, for many reasons (some which you have outlined in your OP...) It's much more comfortable in your own space. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, so you need to get your sleep.

Things will not get get better. Get separate beds.

gamerchick · 22/12/2017 06:18

Even though he can’t help it and that’s fair enough.. it’s reallg selfish when someone knows they’re disturbing their partners sleep and refuses to even try and do anything about it. Why should you put up with it?

Bridechilla · 22/12/2017 06:20

If he won't compromise then just make him aware that you'll be waking him up EVERY time he wakes you up. Might help him understand your frustration.

kaytee87 · 22/12/2017 06:22

He could be cold op. Tell him to wear socks to bed and a tshirt under his pjs to see if it helps. If it doesn't then insist he swaps sides (wake him up every time he wakes you until he realises what an issue it is)

RemainOptimistic · 22/12/2017 06:23

Has he been drinking or drinking more than usual? DH is a squirmy stinky brute when he's had even just one drink. So much so that he asks me permission to drink and if it's more than one drink he voluntarily gets the sofa. Because he knows now I will simply wake him every time he wakes me and he doesn't enjoy that!

Original poster
LunarGirl · 22/12/2017 06:29

Don't think he's worrying about anything. Seems pretty stress free.
I do think he might be cold, he doesn't like wearing clothes in bed. Maybe I can try to get him to put some pj's on and see if that helps.

I took a picture of him taking up all the space this morning and showed it to him when he woke up. He's said we can try swapping sides for tonight to see if that helps.

He doesn't really drink and hasn't had anything over the last couple of weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
LunarGirl · 22/12/2017 06:33

littlepurplekitten if that was an option I'd be on it. I've put up with his snoring for years but taking my personal space is just a step too far.

OP posts:
SnowFairyDust · 22/12/2017 06:39

My DH is currently on nights, fabulous Grin

BluebellTheDonkey · 22/12/2017 06:46

The secret to my long and happy marriage is that I haven't shared a bed with DH for about 12 years! In our case its because of his snoring which is truly horrendous. Sleep deprivation is just the worst, I am afraid either him or me would be moving out (of the bed!)

Scarydinosaurs · 22/12/2017 06:52

Pool noodle under the fitted sheet to divide in two.

PinkietheElf · 22/12/2017 07:48

Pool noodle!! Great idea! Thanks.

mullmepopcorn · 22/12/2017 08:14

Two single duvets helps as well! It's easier for him to know when he's moving away from his side.