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Original poster

To flush the toilet during the night...

93 replies

MelbourneClown03 · 21/12/2017 21:42

... in other people's houses.

When staying over night at other people's houses, do you flush the loo if you get up in the night for a wee? I don't know what the etiquette is.

I can remember, when staying at my nan and grandpa's house as a child, that no one flushed the loo if they got up in the night. By the morning it seemed to resemble a long drop and made me feel Envy even as a child.

Staying for a few nights with PIL at the moment and DMIL has made several comments about hearing me get up in the night to go to the loo. I have apologised to her for disturbing her and she said not to worry, it was just that PIL could hear the loo flushing from their bedroom. Help!

OP posts:
SheepyFun · 21/12/2017 22:10

As you're a guest, it would be kind to do what's most convenient for your hosts. Get DH to ask them what they prefer (I'm guessing he'd find the conversation less embarrassing!).

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 21/12/2017 22:10

always flush, strange not to. No one hears it really

TheIntrovertedMum · 21/12/2017 22:14

@InfiniteSheldon it's not sterile and it stains the toilet if you live in a high line scale area 😷 my FIL has the "yellow let it mellow" rule and his toilets are stained more than a smokers teeth

ElphabaTheGreen · 21/12/2017 22:17

I would rather be woken by a flush than come face to face with a bowl full of wee in the morning

This times infinity. I had never encountered this 'don't flush at night' alleged 'etiquette' until I met DH's family. None of them flush at night and it had never occurred to him that anybody did anything else until I pointed out that coming face to face with his mother's father's or grandmother's piss, plus a little floating bit of paper first thing in the morning was gut-churning. He might not mind it, being his own family and all, but I most certainly did. I told my own DM about it and she was horrified.

I managed to politely say, 'It's no bother at all if you flush in the night - I sleep like a log!' They took the hint, both when they came to ours and when we stay at theirs thank fuck

babyturtles · 21/12/2017 22:19

We don't flush in the night in our own house because we have very light sleepers who will wake at the sound.

But if I was in my PIL's house I would definitely flush. Unless asked not to. I think you need to ask what they'd prefer really since PIL obviously hear the flush.

But - my BIL's piss stinks SO strongly it's even worse than a bad poo smell. I can't believe anyone's piss can stink like his does, it's absolutely vile. If you have smelly wee, flush regardless of host preferences Envy.

Rudgie47 · 21/12/2017 22:21

Has your BIL got a urine infection? that can make wee really stink.

Draylon · 21/12/2017 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Melamine · 21/12/2017 22:23

My OH’s family are night non-flushers & I had to ask my MIL to PLEASE flush at night because I don’t care about being woken for a few seconds, but I do care about a grim bog full of pee & paper in the morning. Bork!

Melamine · 21/12/2017 22:24

*at my house that is!

KiaOraAura · 21/12/2017 22:25

Stale wee in someone else's loo left overnight Shock

Surely no-one does this do they?

Fink · 21/12/2017 22:26

THREE times I was woken last night by a houseful of residents and Christmas visitors weeing to various timescales. I don't flush at night but everyone else here certainly does. I completely sympathise with your PIL. Not sure what the etiquette is though, I'd just ask them what they want.

Lunde · 21/12/2017 22:27

DH once lived in council housing in Sweden where it was forbidden to flush between 10pm and 6am - it was not fun in the winter vomiting bug season!

FrancisCrawford · 21/12/2017 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurlsandCurves · 21/12/2017 22:33

We don’t flush overnight at home.

However I’d insist that my kids do flush if we stay anywhere else. Every morning I have to hold my breath before going in to flush the main bathroom!

roomsonfire · 21/12/2017 22:34

Green toilet flush thingies when guests stay. If they flush or not the strong aroma of the blocks masks the smell. Green ones? because the blue ones turn green with pee.

HeddaGarbled · 21/12/2017 22:35

Your PIL are ungracious hosts. How rude to comment on your perfectly normal behaviour.

My dad was very set in his ways and grumpy and over-critical. We children knew his triggers and tip-toed around them and him. When my H started staying at my parents house with me, he was unaware of the triggers so just behaved like a normal person. I would cringe when he, for example, didn't shut a door gently and silently.

But it helped open my eyes to what a grumpy fusspot my dad was.

Your MIL is acting like I did. I doubt the flushing bothers her but your FIL has conditioned her to pander to his silly obsessions, and she thinks she has to sort this out for him rather than just telling him to get a grip. He can cope with a few seconds of low level noise on a very few occasions.

Stop apologising and ignore her. If they want guests they need to be hospitable.

BertieBotts · 21/12/2017 22:36

I think it must be a hormone thing? I grew up with just my mum and sister and I never found their wee smelled particularly bad, just like my own really. But DH's and DS's really smells strong to me, especially now DS is older. If DH leaves his in the toilet it has a kind of oily sheen on it too! So weird. It's either due to the dual use of the tube in men or hormones, it must be.

Rhynswynd · 21/12/2017 22:42

I don't in my own house. The water collection system is directly outside baby's room and flushing makes hell of a noise and wakes her up even from the en suite at the other end of the house. At anyone else's house I flush.

itsbetterthanabox · 21/12/2017 22:43

We always flush. Loo downstairs though so it doesn’t wake anyone.

JeremyCorbynsBeard · 21/12/2017 23:07

can remember, when staying at my nan and grandpa's house as a child, that no one flushed the loo if they got up in the night. By the morning it seemed to resemble a long drop and made me feel envy even as a child.

When I was a child, my grandparents used a chamber pot in the night, as there was no inside toilet. I can still remember the horrible feeling of sitting on it and it being quite full, with other people's cold wee touching my bum. Seems unbelievable now.

Kittyp75 · 21/12/2017 23:07

If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down.😂

TonicAndTonic · 21/12/2017 23:14

Always flush, at home or away. Never occured to me not to! If I do wake up because someone has flushed the loo, I'm not awake for long.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 21/12/2017 23:17

For those who think urine is sterile - why wash your hands after having a wee then?

Macaroni46 · 21/12/2017 23:20

I'm a very light sleeper and hate being woken in the night. It also takes me a long time to drop back off so I'm in the "let it mellow" camp.
I think the fact that your MIL has mentioned it would suggest you should refrain from flushing for the remainder of your stay.

Margaritaanyone89 · 21/12/2017 23:23

It wouldn't even cross my mind not to flush, I would always flush haha. But if my MIL had made that statement to me, I would take the hint and not flush from now on. Unless it was a number 2, otherwise it looks like a hate crime Hmm

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