What are you supposed to do if you are being mugged?

[NameChangedAndForgotOldName]

Clear up an argument for me....
Do you fight back?
Or
Hand over what they want?

User1471 my mugger sounded really unsure too! I can't put my finger on it - it was just like his heart wasn't in it.

i’d like to think i’d fight back. its my stuff, id be pretty fucked without it all.

well if it was a gang i wouldnt fight back, that is stupid. but one guy or two teenagers i would. i’d be gouging out eyeballs maybe its just where i live but weapons are usually only used in armed robberies of shops etc . cant remember the last time i read about a weapon being used in a mugging.

It would depend on the situation. I have martial arts training and my sensei is hot on teaching street fighting. However, the primary lesson is always how to get away (and give yourself a head start) or end the flight as safely and effectively as possible. So it really depends on the circumstances.

If you ladies have the opportunity I would recommend doing a self defence class. My sensei ran one specifically for women showing how to get away from an attack e.g. Throwing your purse in the opposite direction to where you want to run so the mugger is likely to go after the purse not you.

If someone is trying to mug you then you should do everything you can to protect your property. Run, shout, fight; do anything you can.

It's not about the monetary value of your purse / phone / wallet. It's about your right & duty to own & protect your possessions for which you've worked hard; and not let some lazy bastard take them off you for free.

Handbags are imo such a target that I don’t carry one if poss if out at night
Money, key (separate ring with house key only) phone in pockets. I remove my cards from purse if poss depending on the night
Put phone in bra sometimes
If I do carry bag, they can have it - it may have lipstick eyeliner cigarettes scarf brush and general rubbish
I really object to the way mens clothes will have inside pockets and women not deemed to need them

Honestly the shaming on here of women who have fought back is just as bad as the shaming of women who haven’t. Calling them selfish and stupid and that they should feel guilty about their families.

Unless it’s happened to you, you have no idea how you react. It’s not logic. It’s all instinct. Can everyone please save their vitriol for the nuggets themselves, not the victims reactions!!

Hand over, run away, shout, but DO NOT throw a punch or kick or whatever unless life in danger as if you do, it will be hard to prove it wasn't a fight between two people, or worse still, you could b arrested

I find it interesting, not to derail the thread, but if you were attacked and raped and didn't fight back, and just 'gave them what they wanted', because 'it's not worth dying for', you would get a very different response in court.

Oh behave no one is being shamed,it’s a frank discussion
Those who didn’t/couldn’t fight back have been called meek
IMO possessions aren’t worth a physical injury,that’s not shaming anyone that’s pragmatic

My dh has just been threatened with a knife but managed to talk to the bloke until he ran off. Don’t know what he would have done if the bloke didn’t leave as dh is disabled and was only walking home from our local pub ☹️.

Dh is quite shaken up but ok.

Oh behave no one is being shamed,it’s a frank discussion
Those who didn’t/couldn’t fight back have been called meek
IMO possessions aren’t worth a physical injury,that’s not shaming anyone that’s pragmatic

Those who have fought back have been called stupid, arrogant and incredibly selfish if they have a family

Yes it’s a frank discussion. But the most frank posts have come from those who have never been mugging victims. I said myself that my advice before I got mugged was completely different to what I actually did in the moment. Calling victims names like that does nothing to help anyone

Complete bold fail - hopefully this makes more sense.

Oh behave no one is being shamed,it’s a frank discussion. Those who didn’t/couldn’t fight back have been called meek. IMO possessions aren’t worth a physical injury,that’s not shaming anyone that’s pragmatic

Those who have fought back have been called stupid, arrogant and incredibly selfish if they have a family

Yes it’s a frank discussion. But the most frank posts have come from those who have never been mugging victims. I said myself that my advice before I got mugged was completely different to what I actually did in the moment. Calling victims names like that does nothing to help anyone

Give them your stuff. It’s just stuff and isn’t worth being hurt over. Mr Foo was mugged on a night out, He fought back, hurt himself doing so (but most of all he dropped his kebab). There was bugger all in his wallet, he always takes his cards out before he goes out and had spent all his cash. I couldn’t believe he wouldn’t just hand it over but his response was “it’s my wallet”. He was lucky he is a big guy and they fled after he punched them, but he could have come off a lot worse.

if you were attacked and raped and didn't fight back
The question was about mugging. Rape is an entirely different thing. A mugger can have your stuff, but if someone is going to rape you, or beat you up, or stab you, the risk to your health and your life life would mean you are far more likely to fight back, if you were able.

"the meek"

Classic bravado. Especially stupid given one poster has already stated that while being mugged they got punched so hard in the face that their nose was shattered. Imagine choosing to suffer that for your fossil purse. :rolleyes:

I wouldn’t have wanted dh to have fought back this evening. I personally don’t think it is worth it.

And selecting posts that prove your point and ignoring others that don’t suit isn’t helpful
The way I make sense of it is I’d be devastated if I lost particular items but i don’t want hurt or to escalate the risk

My car was stolen by 3 guys in a dark side street as I left work one evening. I saw them coming and thought they looked dodgy so quickly got in, but before I could turn on the ignition they were there, one at my window pointing a gun at my face.

I wouldn't say I'm particularly meek, but I got out of the car immediately. For some reason I automatically took the key out of the ignition as I did so and he had to demand it from me. I handed it over and they sped off. When the police asked me what the gun looked like (whether it was a revolver or a pistol) I couldn't even remember. It all seemed to happen in less than a split second and I wasn't able to think of anything in the moment, I was just on autopilot.

If someone is trying to mug you then you should do everything you can to protect your property. Run, shout, fight; do anything you can.

Anything we can? Does that extend to being beaten up? Kicked in the head til you pass out? Stabbed? Shot? It is our right and duty to suffer these things for the principle?

I don't think this is some kind of moral choice. You have no obligation to risk your life, nor to let things go without a fight. I think it's very much up to you. Standard advice is to let them have it and I think that's probably the wisest course unless you're pretty confident physically and you assess your chances and are happy with the risk.

However, having dealt with quite a few people who have been mugged and fought back or not, I would say there is a lot to be said for fighting back and winning - most people who do that do not seem to be traumatised by the mugging the way people who don't fight back often are. When considering risk there's physical harm to consider, but also mental harm. Unfortunately, this is just anecdotal evidence, so I don't know if it's true of the population at large. But I don't think the advice to always hand things over has been well tested either.

lipstick obviously I’m picking posts that prove my point...because they prove my point.

Have you ever been mugged? Because my actual point is we can all talk about the ideal thing to do, but we never know we’ll actually do until it happens. So don’t shame any real reactions from women who have been through it. Shame the perpetrators

Your overuse of shame is somewhat adding to your hyperbole

Keep walking if you can. Some muggers never intend to get violent and just look for easy prey. If you can not keep walking and they block your path give them what they ask for.

@Originalfoogirl do you have references re being more likely to fight back against rape than mugging? I don't know the comparative figures, but I thought that not fighting back against rape was a common defence mechanism?

I would hand it over I have been taught break away techniques many times as I worked on acute mental health wards but it's just not worth it ,it's only stuff .