Husband constantly correcting me on semantics who is Bu

[Tmtiger]

My husband drives me mad. What could be an interesting conversation fizzles out because he constantly has to correct me on stuff which is unnecessary of just plain wrong.

I'm having a conversation with him about a mate who insisted years ago he would never leave London, never move South of the river. He said he was enjoying the space of the new house.
I said "so a guy who said he is never leaving London is now enjoying the country side?"
His correction "he did live in x for the first few years of working in London"
"Ok but what I mean is a guy who loved London so much he said he would never move South of the river has now moved out and is enjoying it?"
Him "he hasn't moved South of the river"

I know this he has moved north of London. All I'm trying to ask is someone who was well into London life and has said he couldn't leave it or even live South of the river and is living somewhere remote and is enjoying it.

It's not just that, two days ago I was talking about the Russell Brand sachgate thing, and the media response and he interrupted me to say the BBC did not get a fine, when I googled it to prove him wrong he said the amount £150,000 was so trivial it didn't matter.

I just want to talk to my husband without his constant unnessicary corrections causes the conversation to die out?

Whats offensive about aspergersy?

Is this something non autists have decided must be offensive to autists?

My dad does this. It’s this constant need to “well, actually” everything I say or anyone else says and then defend it to the hilt. He then gets amused when I get annoyed with his pomposity and disingenuousness and uses it as a platform for female irrationality. Drives me up the wall and as such I don’t much like spending time with him.

I don't know about the Aspergers diagnoses. If it were a case of things having to be right or correct, or not letting a simple error go when the meaning was clear or irrelevant, for example "I've never seen any Star War movie, you must be referring to the new Star Wars movie" or "Actually dear, he joined the death metal band in the summer of ninety two not ninety four" then maybe it could be a facet of an Asperger personality. But the OP mentioned correcting him on an inconsequential error and he dismissed the correction as 'that was only a small fine, that doesn't count.'

I dont think having double standards means hes not autistic

Tippexy

They don't use the term Aspergers any more, and don't diagnose it either, I believe.

Who are ‘they’ and where did you get that idea from (just to derail the thread)?

OP - it sounds annoying and demeaning. Have you told him how it makes you feel?

I would take the piss and generally pull him up on it while having a kindly laugh at him.

"Oh no! The dastardly Conversation Killer has struck again!"

"No footnotes please!"

"Oi, I hadn't finished speaking!"

"I am telling a story, not writing a legal document!"

"Stop it, I don't want the truth to get in the way of a good story."

Sympathies. My mum and husband can be like this. I would like to know how to handle it too as it drives me up the wall.

Thing is, I remember being told off for this sort of correcting people even when its not relevant to the meaning, when I was about 6, i was trying to show I was smart and grown up, and I was rightly told that people don't need correcting on minor points all the time, and that you should keep this corrections to yourself, unless it really makes some kind by f practical difference.

I found it hard work, then I learnt to be polite - I suspect your DH had doting parents, who thought he was really smart, and didn't tell him off perhaps? Whatever the reason, he needs to grasp this, and if he's polite with other people, its clear he knows already and is just being an are.

I meant he's being an arse, not an 'are' (autocorrect thought it knew better!)

What tintangel said. Its just plain rude.

My dp is like this but I get my own back because he gets very muddled with words so I mock him. (He'll call a bracelet a necklace and mixes things up. Keeps it fair)

Sounds nice!

The DSM 5. It is now diagnosed as ASD.

Maybe he wants it to die out? The only time I have known people to do that is when they find the speaker annoying and want to kill the conversation.

My Mum is a prime culprit at this e.g. I might mention that I'm picking up DD "around 7ish" but Mum will glance at our calendar and see that it says "collect DD 7.15" and will say challengingly 'You actually need to pick her up at 7.15, you know'.

Or I might say I admire a red sweater and she'll chip in with 'Do you mean that scarlet one?'

Red or scarlet, does it really matter?

No idea why she does it, though I have often suspected she might be somewhere on the ASD spectrum as she can be very literal, doesn't pick up on many social cues but is highly academic (belonged to Mensa for years).

Technically we don't use the DSM here it's a north American thing.

Here we prefer to have some areas refuse to diagnose it, going with ASD
And some areas which carry on.

I have autism and I don't find the term "aspergersy" offensive

IMO, nothing to do with ASD. Just argumentative.

My Mum is a prime culprit at this e.g. I might mention that I'm picking up DD "around 7ish" but Mum will glance at our calendar and see that it says "collect DD 7.15" and will say challengingly 'You actually need to pick her up at 7.15, you know'.

That’s interesting. I struggle with telling people times. I have to tell it to the minute otherwise I think they’ll think I’m deceiving them if I round it up or down. my sister often comments “how precise”

Interesting, in my area we do use the DSM 5 so thought everyone did!

It's nothing to do with being autistic - it's just standard argumentative behaviour.

I'm autistic - Asperger's - and I'm happy to state that although the UK is not bound by the DSM V they do use it to guide diagnoses. I have one child dx with 'High functioning ASD (Asperger's presentation)' and one child dx with 'HF AS' (three to five years later, after DSM V). Both children instantly commented "at least they've dropped the 'D' ". The paediatrician told me they no longer diagnosed Asperger's, even though it was a clear description of my second child as well.

I have no objection to the phrase 'aspergery' but its lazy and inaccurate to use it to describe someone behaving like a tit. Asperger's does not equal being a tit.

I wonder if aspergers is becoming the new OCD as a label? For ages people would say “he’s a bit OCD” about people who liked things to be organised a specific way.

Recently I have heard several instances of people who are obviously a bit pedantic being described as “aspegersy” or “a bit autistic”, also happening irl.

Incidentally ds was diagnosed as HFA but I was specifically told not Aspergers as they do not use that term anymore, it is interesting to know this is regional as I have avoided describing ds as Aspergers only because I was led to believe it is a defunct term. Would love to know which description other HFA / Aspergers adults prefer?

Yeah, there's a HUUUGE difference between being a Pedant and having Aspergers/ASD

Could be he has aspergers. Could be he's a massive arse. Could be a mixture of both - they're not necessarily mutually exclusive.

I have aspergers - fairly recent dx of ASD because they don't dx aspergers round these parts, but it's definitely aspergers I have. Or ass-burglars as me and (also ASD) DD like to josh, after an amusing misunderstanding with an elderly neighbour.

The Hoover thing is interesting merely because my dad rolled his eyes when I asked him to get out my Hoover, then later mentioned hoovering. He doesn't say out loud but often has a superior air about him, but this time he pointedly said 'I'll get out your vacuum, where is it?' I was able to point out my Hoover-brand Hoover was in the Hoover-brand box in the kitchen. No chance he's on the spectrum, just nice to occasionally be correct.