Who's name is it

[weekfour]

DD is 6. The name on her birth certificate is the full version of a name but since birth she has been called a shortened version. It’s not this name but think along the lines of Margaret and Maggy.

We managed to navigate reception fine. There are two ‘Maggy’s’ in the class but the teacher would use Maggy A and Maggy B. All paperwork at school says Margaret known as Maggy.

For some reason, the Year 1 teacher has decided she wants one Maggy and one Margaret and my DD has been selected to be Margaret. It’s not what we wanted her to be called! It’s seeped in to wider society now and we can’t walk through the village with out someone shouting ‘Hi Margaret’.

Should also add it’s not the only name that’s doubled up in the class but only my DD has been renamed by the teacher.

So AIBU to speak to the teacher? My DD is confused and doesn’t understand why I won’t call her Margaret. Or am I being precious? Should add that teacher managed to use Maggy all through parents evening which leads me to believe she understands it’s not really on.

That's very annoying - why does the teacher think she has any right to rename your child?

My DS1 also has a long and short name - we were asked what he went by, and what we wanted them to call him, and I said we call him the short name, but I need him to know his long name. Consequently they quite often use his long name, but will also change it down to the short version as well.
However, if they had unilaterally decided to call him the long name all the time, I'd be a bit pissed off!

"It’s not what we wanted her to be called!"

But what does she want to be called?

I should have just called her Agamemnon and none of this would have happened.

But Aggie for short, yeah?

If it doesn't bother DD just let it go.

Maybe the other kid has the shortened version on her birth certificate and that's why your daughter's has been lengthened.

She said she didn’t want the teacher to get into trouble.

Translates to, "I asked her to use it because I prefer it"

weekfour it's her name and she can do what she wants with it. I will not be called by my full first name, as I associate it with being told off. My parents haven't had any say in the matter since I became old enough to have an opinion.

I really think you need to let this go.
Pick your battles, op.

When you registered dd for the school did the form ask for a preferred name? Just inform the teacher of your preferred name and insist they use it.

Our son is called by a shortened version of his middle name, this includes school. It isn't that difficult for a teacher to manage calling a child by their preferred name.

If you go into hospital etc etc you always get asked what name would you like to be known as whether that be your name or a version of it or even a different name entirely! Why should this be different in a school?

our Millie is Amelia really...........mostly when shes naughty!!!
for the first 3 weeks of school we couldn't understand why she was so upset when she came home.
We eventually got out of her that she thought the teacher was telling her off all the time because she was calling her Amelia........we went in and spoke to her and since then shes been Millie.......although she now WANTS to be called Amelia (face palm!!!)

I don't think the teacher is being a "twat". I'm sure she'd be happy to use dd's nickname if asked. Perhaps she even asked your dd if the long version was alright?
I have a feeling it might stick amongst her peers though if they are using it too now.

It's tricky if there are multiple pupils with the same name. My 5yr old DS kept referring to his new friend "Ed woosie"

We eventually worked out it was Edward C as there were 3 Edwards in the class!
His friends still call him Woosie now they're teens. It just stuck.

My money's on it being Hattie (Harriet or Henrietta).

The teacher is calling your DD by her name that you chose on her birth certificate. How is that unreasonable?

When she's older and doing exams etc they will all have Margaret on her certificates and it'll be on her marriage certificate, passport etc.

I would not be happy with this at all. My DS is known by a shortened version of his name and that’s what he likes. I’d have been into school sooner than this tbh - it’s not up to the teacher to change what someone is called just because they feel like it.

"My money's on it being Hattie (Harriet or Henrietta)."

Well you'd lose as Op has already said the 2 names start with different letters!

Do people with Charlottes not call them Charlie anymore? Or is Charlie a 90s thing and Lottie the millennial version?

My daughter is called Jessica. She’s called Jess/ Jessie/ Jessica by family and nursery. I cannot imagine possibly caring!

Totally off topic, but I had a friend at school called Anastasia but who’d always been known as Ana.

When an “Anna” joined our class my friend decided that instead of her reverting to Anastasia, to save confusion, we should instead call her Stasi. And she told the teacher the same thing.

Odd that it never caught on...

For some reason, the Year 1 teacher has decided...

I have a feeling there's a lot behind "some reason." Like maybe the teacher made a suggestion that OP's DD agreed to, rather than dictate something that was imposed on the DD.

This is a good opportunity for OP to teach her DD that this is her decision and to be brave about speaking up for what she prefers. If she's fine with Margaret, great. If she'd prefer something else, she should speak up. Whether or not OP asks the teacher to call child by something else would also be the DD's decision.

That would annoy me too as it smacks a bit of favouritism.

In primary there were 2 children with my dc's name. My child never mentioned it but I found out after some time that the other child was called just by their name and my child was called name plus intial of surname.

To be fair they should have both had their initial after their names (not the same initial) as I felt my child was seen as 2nd best one of that name.

I never said anything, it would have appeared a bit bonkers but it still rankles a bit

Is Lottie the millennial version? Yes it's really popular round my way at the moment.

Back to the drawing board.. my money's on Elizabeth (Betty or Lizzy).

It's your DD's name and it's up to your DD.

If your DD was bothered I would follow up with the teacher and ensure she is called by her preferred version, but if your DD likes the long version its up to her, not you. You get to choose your child's name, but once they are old enough to have a preference the name is the child's to shorten or not as they please.

You say DD isn't arsed, but you also say DD "doesn’t understand why I won’t call her Margaret" which suggests that your DD actually likes the long version better than the version you use!

I would ask your DD which she prefers (although I do think it is worng of the teacher to arbitrarily not use the short version - but it seems now your DD perhaps prefers the long version) Myy DD was the opposite - we always called her 'Margaret', but once she was about five she decided she wanted to be called 'maggie' and has been ever since.

When i was at primary school there were two of my name in the class. say it is Mary. I was younger than her by a couple of months so she was called Mary and I was called 'Little Mary' by all the teachers at school, and by 'Mary's' mother. It used to annoy the hell out of me.

When I was teaching I just called children by their names - I didn't make stuff up for my own convenience. In cases of confusion I'd add their surname so they knew who I was asking for. But in general class stuff it was John, and John, or Susan and Susan. It's not that hard.