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AIBU?

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Teenage boy and request to have 'not girlfriend' in room -

79 replies

Whippetwalker · 20/12/2017 00:46

15 yo Ds seems to have started first relationship although says 'she's not my girlfriend'. Invited her round twice (she is also 15) but she would barely look at any of the family, despite effort to make her feel welcome(l appreciate this can be daunting). Dd of 11 said 'she won't even acknowledge my existence'. He only seems to have known her for a couple of weeks and has now asked why we have said she isn't allowed in his room with the door shut. Together they seem awkward and communication is stilted. Two mutual friends seem to have paired them up. He suggested that rather than going to the cinema with her and other family that the family go and leave them at home! I am concerned that (reading between the lines) there isn't enough there to support this relationship 'going upstairs'! Ds is resentful and has just said 'l can go in her bedroom' !. I want to support emotionally healthy relationships for both of them but all they seem to want to do is sit in a dark room 'watching tv'. Feels awkward. Advice please, first teenager! Thanks.

OP posts:
Sludgecolours · 20/12/2017 13:38

Great post Herecomesthesun yes I would hope the boy's parents would be talking about all of those things too!

Chrys2017 · 20/12/2017 13:56

When I was 15, I was traveling 4 hours away by train on my own to visit my boyfriend and staying with him for a weekend ... We were obviously sleeping in the same bed when I was there

"Obviously"—really? Whatever happened to guest bedrooms? Is it just assumed now that all childhood boyfriend/girlfriends will sleep together? (Genuinely curious.)

sashh · 20/12/2017 14:10

I find the rural American state with no teenage pregnancies hmm actually far more of a frightening place than good old south London

Many girls' first trip to the Dr in college is due to an anal tear. They are still 'technically a virgin' and not pregnant.

TheSnowFairy · 20/12/2017 14:14

DS1 (15 1/2) has been seeing his GF (just 16) for nearly a year. We have talked to him about contraception and they are not allowed in the bedroom together.

He does say they are nowhere near having sex yet (I believe him, but think that things can change quickly!).

Tbh, the absolute best form of contraception here is his little sister, DD (9), who won't leave them alone and has no concept whatsoever of them wanting to be physically close to each other GrinGrin

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