To not want MIL to drive to pick up her friends DD?

[Wilburissomepig]

MIL is 81 and in rude health, if getting a little forgetful sometimes. She lives in a lovely village surrounded by lots of friends, one of whom she is particularly close to and they see each other most days.

Her friend has a daughter who lives about 150 miles away and when she comes to visit, her husband will normally drive her half way and friend or friend's husband picks her up from there and brings her back here. Then they repeat the same arrangement on the return journey.

Friend has been a bit unwell recently and has asked MIL to drive the 75 miles to pick up her DD. I really don't want her to do this. Apart from the fact I think it's a bit of a piss take (MIL already does loads for her friend as it is), it'll be dark, majority of the journey will be windy country roads and although MIL is fit and healthy, she normally just drives from her village to the shops and back and I don't see why, on this one occasion, the daughter can't either drive herself (she can drive and has a car at her disposal but 'it's too far'), or she gets the train this time.

I can't offer to do it as I'll be working that night. MIL really isn't keen on doing it be feels that she has to to help her friend out. I am trying to convince her to say no and no, I don't suppose it is any of my business, but I am not at all happy with the thought of her driving all this way, on her own, in the dark.

Glad you stood up for your MIL. The friend, husband and daughter are all taking the piss. If the daughter isn't willing to drive that distance, she has no right to ask your MIL.

Hope the friend doesn't attempt to put pressure on.

It is beyond me how some people are so entitled and could expect an 81 year old to drive that distance and that too in the dark.
Am in my 30s and been driving 20 years and am a confident driver but I hate driving at night and on country roads.

Make sure she doesn't do it, hope she hadn't fobbed it off and went ahead an arranged it for maybe another day. Good on you for inviting her for tea that day. You sound lovely but I might still phone her friend to reiterate she will not be doing that drive.

If I was ill I might ask a neighbour to post a letter or pick me up the paper if it was on their way. Not much more. This whole scenario is unbelievable!

It might be a good time to discuss with MIL how to refuse requests if you feel she's apt to be taken advantage of, either by this neighbour or by the innumerable scammers who target the elderly, given the possible deterioration in her memory. She obviously doesn't like to use the F-word when it's needed! Maybe remind her she can always postpone a decision and speak to her son or to you before making her mind up.

Perhaps even talk about power of attorney - much better done too early than wait too long.