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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If their bitching about other people, they're bitching about you

44 replies

InspMorse · 19/12/2017 17:48

Just that!
AIBU to think that if 'friends' / colleagues spend half their time bitching about other people TO you, they are also slagging you off to other people??
Someone told me I am wrong but I don't think I am! What does the MN jury say?

OP posts:
Original poster
InspMorse · 19/12/2017 17:50

THEY'RE not THEIR FFS!!!

OP posts:
Stormwhale · 19/12/2017 17:50

Absolutely. I have an ex friend who was very bitchy. It was part of the reason she is now an ex friend. Funnily enough she now bitches about me to the main person she bitched about when we were friends. Bitchy cows are bitchy about anyone and everyone as it gets them attention or makes them feel good.

Chchchchangeabout · 19/12/2017 17:51

Yes this is correct in my experience. Learnt the hard way.

Original poster
InspMorse · 19/12/2017 17:53

That's what I think Storm
I don't think they discriminate! A bitch is a bitch!

OP posts:
Curlyshabtree · 19/12/2017 17:56

Yes, another one who learnt the hard way !

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 19/12/2017 17:58

Yes probably

Flossie4 · 19/12/2017 17:59

I think there is vicious bitching and then there is... erm, talking behind closed doors. I shall admit here and now I can be maybe , I dunno, perhaps critical of an occasion once it's over and have a bit of chinwag with partner about what we experienced, what was said, etc. I wouldn't dream of running a person down to a third party or spreading gossip or bad-mouthing someone openly. I may be a closet bitch! Grin

I get the feeling most people are like this. Or are we all saintly and perfect?

mummyhaschangedhername · 19/12/2017 17:59

Yes!

Blackteadrinker77 · 19/12/2017 18:00

I agree with this, it always seems to be people with lower self esteem imo.

They seem to lack the confidence to just be straight with people.

Anmi0802 · 19/12/2017 18:00

Another one here, I had a friend who would say bad things about everyone and I would think she wouldn’t say anything about me cos she was my friend but discovered she said even worse things about me, sad but I knew it deep down and didn want lose her Friendship. Now we are ex friend and I am happier now

Dothedamnthang · 19/12/2017 18:02

Yes; totally true.

HelenaJustina · 19/12/2017 18:05

Yep, 100% true in my experience. People who like to be nasty, gossip or spread rumour don’t discriminate...

Triskaidekaphilia · 19/12/2017 18:21

I wish DH's friends knew this! They find it hilarious when he bitches about people they don't like and he overexaggerates to amuse them, it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. But the minute they upset him he's complaining about them, albeit with a 'I love him/her but...' because he can't stand to confront them, which I do understand because I struggle with the same thing.

I trust this man with almost anything but I'm not sure I trust him not to talk crap about me when I'm not there... shady bitch! Grin

ladystarkers · 19/12/2017 18:25

This was a major part of ditching a friend, guess what shes been talking about me🙄🤣

SinisterBumFacedCat · 19/12/2017 18:26

Yes definitely I

Vitalogy · 19/12/2017 18:33

More often than not for sure.

EmilyChambers79 · 19/12/2017 18:49

Agreed.

They are usually people pleasers on my experience. They go from one person to a other and say what they think someone wants to hear about another person.

I haven't got time for it but it's only the past two years that I've realised I don't have to stand for it and confront them.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 19/12/2017 18:50

YADNBU. There's having a moan about someone whose a bit of a tosser and perpetually bitching about everyone. Beware of the latter

mumtomaxwell · 19/12/2017 19:04

You’re absolutely right OP. I have a colleague who seems to thrive on other people’s misery/mistakes and is incredibly bitchy. I know she moans about me too - she bitches about everyone. She is also one of the most insecure people I have ever met.

playitnow · 19/12/2017 19:08

Yes, this is absolutely true.

cleanasawhistle · 19/12/2017 19:08

I was friends with 2 ladies,the three of us would catch up and go out for lunch / evening meal .
One of them would call round for a cuppa now and again and she always bitched about the other one....it didnt occur to me that she would be bitching about me also but she did something that made me think she valued her friendship with the other lady more than mine.

No proof she was or is bitching about me but I do now keep her/both of them at arms length

BulletFox · 19/12/2017 19:10

Don't like bitchy people.

Anyway you can tell by your ears, left for love, right for spite (if they go red. So guess you'd have to run off to the bathroom to check or whip out a hand mirror) :)

SchoolMoney · 19/12/2017 19:10

Absolutely. One ex friend of mine is someone I put up with shit behaviour from because she had no other friends. Anyone else she knew she bitched about/couldn't tolerate. Soon as I stopped being there for her she used the same stories on them that she had on me about how cruel everyone was to her. 2 faced cows are like that to everyone.

Groovee · 19/12/2017 19:12

Very much so and twice I have been burned badly by the repercussions of their actions or their mouths.

Rubyredslippers44 · 19/12/2017 19:14

Yes! Surprisingly, not everyone is smart enough to figure this out.

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