Christmas rant about PIL

[2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney]

Sorry going to have a rant.
MIL just rang . Despite sending a million presents probably tacky junk that will be recycled as usual she has omitted to get something for baby DGGD . Can I buy something and she will send a cheque ?

So I would have to choose something, drive into town , park and purchase ; wrap it up and after all that say it was from MIL and sometime later in the new year receive a cheque which I would then have to drive into town , park and take to the bank to put in my account!

Using my best Mumsnet speak and not just say Fuck Off I suggested they get a suitable token on line . Not possible as MIL doesn't use computer and FIL won't cooperate in buying something for his Not so DGGD . No idea about this why etc

FFS

fortunately the call was terminated at that point because they had to go shopping in a different town to mine which presumably doesn't have any shops which sell tokens or something for a baby !

Shall I explore the incooperative FIL comment or just explode quietly here instead ?

Sounds like she just wanted an excuse to tell you that FIL won’t help because of an issue with the baby, presumably something to do with your DD and/or son in law given that the baby can’t have done anything!

Are they very young? Does he disapprove of the father?

Lyingwitch they are my PIL , babies great grand parents. They have no relationship with her.
She does have other great grand parents, my parents, who DD is close to and who do see the baby .

That explains, 2bees. Just smile and nod then? Don't do anything and let them sort something out if they want to - or not. But as your granddaughter won't see them over Christmas it won't matter.

If they want a relationship with her then they have to make one. She's too little to do that herself.

I regularly get a gift cheque for £10/15 per BD/Xmas. I'm just ungrateful apparently, the fact I never go in the bank, or near my bank, so it's a special trip, bus fare, time, etc. The actual money I am up after that can sometimes be negative. The fact they could just sit down in the comfort of their own home and spend two minutes transferring it online, no stamps, no hassle, but no.

Mykingdom you could be right about my MIL using this as a drama using FIL this time. Would be true to form.
My DD is married and in her thirties ; SIL a bit older than her and all that you would withdraw for in a husband so that can't be the reason. Not a relationship to disapprove of at all .

Withdraw - the mind boggles!
Meant to say " want"

Tell us more about the ‘drowning’ incident!

She slapped your DD?
That would have been enough for me to cut her out of my life. My awful MIL smacked my DD on her hand at about 16 months for pulling her earring - if she'd have cried I'd have been in a cell.
Thank fuck we are NC because they really are vile selfish narcissistic cunts the pair of them

Honestly, with how the relationship sounds with them, I would waste absolutely no time or energy on this. Don’t bother getting a present, baby couldn’t care less at that age. When they ask what you got, just say some new clothes or something. Just give the babies mum the money when you get a cheque off them. They sound ridiculous and clearly can’t be bothered but feel they have to make a show of trying.

We've also had a cheque through from MIL but it's down to DH to sort. Luckily he works in town and can walk to the bank and the toy shop. I too find it a shame that people seem unable to take the time to buy a present for their "closest" family.

I think the best you can do is to suggest a cheque straight to your DD so they can save it or buy baby something when needed.

Queen We took PIL to local health club and were in a jacuzzi pool . DH and FIL had just got out to go elsewhere . Which was when. MIL pulled a stunt pretending to faint and go under in water. I panicked thinking she was actually drowning. When "saved " She then pretended to be deaf and did her trick of appearing "not with it " but recovered very quickly to chat to others in The changing room. I was furious. It has never really been dealt with but I have not visited since and will not allow PIL here until dealt with .

wow just read that list of stuff they've done :/ I would just tell her to talk to her son about the presents in future and let him deal with her, she isn't your mother and she will only irritate you

2bees I’d have called her bluff and have huddled her off to A&E with her DH.

DD was 10 at the time and remembers. Think it was turning point for her. Little DC were toddlers . DD spent whole journey having. been slapped trying to keep siblings safe with adult seat belts. Yes I was furious when I found out and it took a lot time to see them again .

The present thing isn't really the issue, I suspect - after all, as another poster has said, it's just a couple of clicks online at Amazon. It's everything else.

I would really like to go NC with them and I don't contact them already. But how do you deal with this when they ring you and ask such crap?

Call screen. Don’t engage, not your problem. To be honest I am a gran and if anyone didn’t take to my grandchildren they could fuck right off.

They sound horrible

Don't answer the phone. It only took me not answering the phone twice for my ILs to go no contact with us.

You sound as if you are looking for a fight to be honest. You could choose to diffuse this but don't seem to want to. Up to you.

The present thing isn't really the issue, I suspect - after all, as another poster has said, it's just a couple of clicks online at Amazon. It's everything else.

(sorry - duplicate post)

Yeah agree with Hatsoffdear don't answer and tell DH to call his mother

If we don't answer, she "panics" and tries to contact other ways . It's just more attention seeking .

Why don't you just take a gift you got, change the name on it, add then add the money to your childs bank..

Lulu I have tried to diffuse for years and I have had enough thank you .