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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at being 'just' a nurse?

613 replies

bottleofwater · 18/12/2017 22:45

Three times in the last week Ive had different family members making sarky comments regarding some recent achievements & promotion at work.

Usually comments along the lines of "Oh Florence Nightingale you will be telling the Doctors what to do now" " You will be a surgeon in no time" & " What do nurses know about blood pressures, they are not doctors".

Im so fed up of how its like being a nurse is rubbish & that only Doctors are of any value Angry

Also comments regarding how I dont make the same amount of money as other family members but thats probably another thread!

Not sure what they think nurses actually do but aibu to be pissed off at the constant sneering at me?

OP posts:
Maldives2006 · 19/12/2017 09:55

Nurses have a different hierarchy to Drs of course a consultant has overall responsibility to their patient. If the nurse disagrees with the drs decision and the nurse can document evidence to why they disagree the decision will not be carried out.

Nurses and Drs are responsible to different professional bodies

RedForFilth · 19/12/2017 09:57

That post wasn't me saying I know better than Drs btw! Just that when I look after a person day in day out I know then better than the Dr. I know what they are usually like etc. Obviously the Dr knows the medical side best usually!

Reallycantbebothered · 19/12/2017 09:57

When I started my nurse training 35 yrs ago, my fiancé ( now dh) was a medical student . I already had a degree (MA) but due to death of dh due to heart attack when I was 20 and in final year of uni, I decided to retrain as a nurse as I'd seen how amazing they'd been when he was in hospital
I have several doctors in my family , but the attitude of these relatives and my dh medical student friends was also that I was 'just a nurse' and why 'waste my degree'.....I soon dropped these 'friends' and rarely talk to these relatives now
Thankfully I've seen a change in attitude over the years and in my current job in research, I work very closely with medical colleagues who greatly value my contribution and knowledge and without me they'd be unable to do their job easily or administer the correct treatment for patients
I'm lucky to work in a great team of Drs, nurses, HCAs, lab staff, cleaners, porters , secretaries, admin etc ...we all need each other right now more than ever and I fear for the NHS

Fadingmemory · 19/12/2017 09:58

All nurses play vital roles. They are also not one homogeneous group. They work on wards of all kinds, in clinics, in GP surgeries, in operating theatres, at major events etc. Doctors cannot work without them. Some are nurse practitioners, with additional qualifications and experience. Whether a nurse is changing a dressing, assisting at a complex medical procedure or talking to a patient with cancer for eg or MS he or she is a vital part of the jigsaw of care. Perhaps your belittlers are jealous. I have never been able to say I saved someone's life, aided them to recover from serious illness or given reassurance about a life-threatening condition. You could ask, 'Did you mean to sound so rude/hurtful,' or, 'You sound jealous. Are you?' Be confident. If you don't feel it in front of these rude and unsympathetic individuals, then have a reply prepared and ignore them.

GladAllOver · 19/12/2017 10:00

Just saw your OP and jumped to the end to offer my sympathy for you over those nasty comments, and my respect for the job you do.
Nursing isn't a lower grade doctor. It's a difficult and complex job that needs its own training and qualifications. And that training and development never stops - CPD as in any professional career.

Thank you for the job that you do!

Stompythedinosaur · 19/12/2017 10:08

Nurses have a different hierarchy to Drs of course a consultant has overall responsibility to their patient.

This is actually not always true. I work on an adolescent mental health admission ward, the Responsible Clinicians have overall responsibility and are a Nurse Consultant and a Senior Psychologist. They are the ones who can use the mental health act to section people and are responsible for their care.

We also have a consultant and a junior medic, they are members of the team but not in charge.

Intercom · 19/12/2017 10:11

I don't think the OP has said there is no hierarchy in the workplace. It's about whether family members should be constantly pointing this out to her in a patronising way.

Intercom · 19/12/2017 10:14

Even if the OP was doing an unskilled minimum-wage job, that still should not result in belittling comments about her "only" doing X job.

Didntcomeheretofuckspiders · 19/12/2017 10:16

These people don’t realise that you will be the one explaining everything to the junior doctors and correct their mistakes before they kill someone when rotation comes around!

RebornSlippy · 19/12/2017 10:17

Strange though, that 3 separate family members, on 3 occassions were so unpleasant. What's the story OP? There has to be more to it than this. Are they generally unsupportive? Is it just towards you or to all? Are there other issues with you and your family in general?

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 19/12/2017 10:17

The relationship between a teacher and TA is nothing like the relationship between nurse and doctor. Nurses are not doctor's assistants. They do a different job and ultimately are answerable to senior nurses.

RebornSlippy · 19/12/2017 10:20

"All nurses play vital roles". Well that's not true. At all. There are so many factors which make a nurse vital. Location, person, competency. Lets not over-egg it. While it's true for some, perhaphs the majority, it's simply not the case that all nurses are saving lives every minute of every working day.

nakedscientist · 19/12/2017 10:22

I don't think that was an insult in regard to what i said? if it was please elaborate

I genuinely agree and do think that you made a very good comment!

MammaTJ · 19/12/2017 10:24

A doctor nearly allowed my DD to die! The MW (OK so not a nurse, but three year degree, like a nurse) saved her life.

A nurse is the one who know the patients best, the one who co-ordianates all the care with all the other HCPs.

You are not 'just' a nurse, you are a NURSE!

WonderTweek · 19/12/2017 10:27

Pfft. Nurses are brilliant.

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 19/12/2017 10:30

Nurses are absolutely not assistants for doctors.

Willow2017 · 19/12/2017 10:33

Reborn
Nobody said every nurse was saving lives every day. But if you were in the throws of horrendous d & v or were bed bound ind incontinent or needed yiur catheter bag or stoma changed and a nurse was cleaning you up, attending to your needs you would think they were very important to your health and well being. Trust me i have never ever seen a doctor clean up anything nor do a dressing or empty a catheter bag. In 20 years experience i found that they cleared of sharpish if there is anything mildly unpleasant to deal with.

RebornSlippy · 19/12/2017 10:34

"Nurses are absolutely not assistants for doctors".

They kind of are though. It's this thread that has made me think about it. If you look at the doctor as the manager of care; the one who oversees. The nurse is the one who carries out the majority of this work (not including surgery obviously). For the most part, the doctor says, ok admit, BD observations, TDS meds etc. The nurse does what the doctor says. Is this not assisting?

I'm not being argumentative here by the way. I just don't understand why it's so galling for nurses to accept that in some cases they do assist the doctors by carrying our their care plans.

Strange thing to get het up about imo.

RebornSlippy · 19/12/2017 10:35

@Willow. Absolutely right. And that description is more fitting of the role than some others I've seen on here where they are basically saving lives single handedly while the doctor is on the golf course. Lets keep it real.

FruitCider · 19/12/2017 10:40

For the most part, the doctor says, ok admit, BD observations, TDS meds etc.

Again it’s not like this in all areas. My patients arrive from court, when they are screened by a nurse and that nurse decides they need a detox they are sent to me. I then assess, write up my findings and recommend a treatment plan, then the Gp reviews my findings and recommendations with the patient and usually prescribes what I ask for. It’s also the detox nurse that sets the level of observations. But I do appreciate it’s not like this in other areas!

ephemeralfairy · 19/12/2017 10:47

I don't think any nurses are saying that they want to be regarded as 'the same' as doctors. Nor do they have chips on their shoulders. They just want their job to be acknowledged for what it is: an important and highly skilled profession in its own right, and they don't want to have to listen to these inane insulting comments about 'just a nurse'

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 19/12/2017 10:50

I think I should clarify that they aren’t assistants in the same way a TA is to a teacher. Of course they are assisting ^in the care% however it isn’t as straight forward as them just carrying out tasks to help out the doctors. Certainly in my varied professional experience.
I see doctors and nurses performing different roles within a team, under a consultant/SWS/ward manager.

I think a lot of people (certainly vast numbers of patients who are on their first admission) see nurses as purely a PA type role for all doctors. A fetcher and carrier type of assistant (which is what I should have clarified up thread) who couldn’t get into medical school, so “settled” for nursing.
They are vastly different roles, nursing is not “just” a wannabe doctor who settled for PTA style position to the doctor’s teacher.

AmeliaFlashtart · 19/12/2017 10:52

Judging by the nature of the relatives comments to OP I suspect she's coming across as more of a self important jobsworth than she'd ever admit. Just as everyone who uses a screwdriver is now an 'engineer' or someone who answers a help desk number is now a ' consultant' there's a trend for people to pump themselves up all the time

RoseWhiteTips · 19/12/2017 10:53

Nurses do not assist doctors? Okaaaay...

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 19/12/2017 10:56

I would also like to point out that old hierarchical model has been dropped because it was downright dangerous for patients. If nurses just do what doctors tell them with no questions then patient safety is compromised. It's a separate profession for a reason, because we need to be able to challenge. As someone else pointed out, if I give patient wrongly prescribed medicine I will be seen as responsible, not just the prescriber.