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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off at being 'just' a nurse?

613 replies

bottleofwater · 18/12/2017 22:45

Three times in the last week Ive had different family members making sarky comments regarding some recent achievements & promotion at work.

Usually comments along the lines of "Oh Florence Nightingale you will be telling the Doctors what to do now" " You will be a surgeon in no time" & " What do nurses know about blood pressures, they are not doctors".

Im so fed up of how its like being a nurse is rubbish & that only Doctors are of any value Angry

Also comments regarding how I dont make the same amount of money as other family members but thats probably another thread!

Not sure what they think nurses actually do but aibu to be pissed off at the constant sneering at me?

OP posts:
ApplesTheHare · 19/12/2017 08:59

bottleofwater I haven't read the whole thread but nurses are AMAZING. Thank you for everything you do.

ZivaDiva · 19/12/2017 09:05

All the good doctors/consultants I know really respect nurses and teach the really junior doctors to do the same. Your family are idiots.
I feel your pain, we paramedics are described as 'ambulance drivers' even by the Health Secretary! Angry

Rebeccaslicker · 19/12/2017 09:06

What a stupid bloody comment. Nurses work incredibly hard and do an essential job, for which they don't get paid enough.

Ignore them!!!

Parsleyisntfood · 19/12/2017 09:06

My MIL was a nurse and her and her pals have all saved someone’s life. Literally. Been the person to do the right thing at the right time to stop someone dying (or being someone back I don’t know what’s right) .
There’s nothing “just” about that. All well and good the surgeon having the degrees and status but if they aren’t there patients aren’t left to die!

DownstairsMixUp · 19/12/2017 09:10

There are nurse prescribers and nurse specialists to a previous poster. Even as a student nurse on one of my ward placements I had been doing a patients bp and it had been consistently low, she was not drinking much even with encouragement. I bleeped the doctor and said "patient x bp has remained low, I think she needs some fluids' and he prescribed for me, obviously I spoke to my mentor but we know what to do, we just have to get the doctor to sign the prescription. Similar situation when we had a lady with very low o2 sats, we make a conscious decision to put them on oxygen etc. The last day on placement one of my patients told me t was hurting to wee and smelly, I dipped it and it had blood and protein, I told the doctor the results and thought it was a uti so he prescribed antibiotics. I think some people's view of nurse is that we are still just the doctors handmaiden when we are constantly assessing patients and making important clinical decisions.

mummyretired · 19/12/2017 09:10

I have tremendous admiration for nurses, doctors and anyone who works in the NHS - I have many as close family and have two relatives currently in and out of hospital with serious conditions so hear lots about the current situation and the demands on the staff.

I wonder if the problem is actually that the OP is trumpeting her progression too much and her audience (for whatever reason) are trying to steer the conversation away? Other people's professional achievements can be pretty impenetrable to non-specialists, as it seems her family are.

AmeliaFlashtart · 19/12/2017 09:11

I get really annoyed with this 'all nurses are angels crap'. As with any job, there are good and bad. I've been in hospital when the nurses were clearly very stretched but did a fantastic job and remained positive however I've also arrived at hospital having finally tracked down my missing elderly neighbour to find her sitting in a chair crying and very distressed (and no she has all her faculties just no family) whilst a few feet away about 4 nurses and other staff were all gathered around a screen at the station having a good laugh and making arrangements for a night out, where they stayed for a good 20 minutes plus. I've met really clued up nurses with great people skills and I've encountered nurses with god complexes who think they are really glorified doctors. I've also encountered nurses with such poor people skills and attitude they shouldn't have been a nurse at all. A lot of nurses do seem to have a chip on their shoulder that they are considered 'just' nurses. If you want to have the kudos of being a doctor train to be a doctor.

Jayfee · 19/12/2017 09:12

After having my first baby, the doctor discharged me. It was the nurse who checked me and had the courage to call the doctor back to the ward. I had retained placenta and would have haemorrhaged at some time, which can be lfe threatening. Be the best nurse you can be and be proud of yourself. Good nurses have my respect and gratitude.

CoconutGal · 19/12/2017 09:13

Nurses are the back bone of every department. You know each patient better than any surgeon or doctor. Without you, patients wouldn't get the care they need & deserve.

You're not "just a nurse" you're a million & one things.

mookinsx · 19/12/2017 09:14

its the general lack of respect for any health care workers.
i work in the admin department for a GP
have had countless times when I'm asked (by patients on the phone) what do i even do anyway ?

have to bite my tongue when i answer them

its an all or nothing career - people think you know everything or nothing

user1471426142 · 19/12/2017 09:14

Your family is being horrid. Have they always put you down? Whatever your job, family members should be supportive and be proud of your achievements. It sounds like you are successful and doing well on a difficult and stressful profession. I don’t understand why anyone would want to put a downer on that unless they are bitter and mean.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 19/12/2017 09:19

I don't think a lot of older people really understand how nursing has changed do they? Pre-1997 nurses did mainly what auxiliaries do now in terms of making the bed and getting people fed. Whereas now they have a much more skilled medical role.

I went through fertility treatment and the NHS nurses were brilliant. Probably stopped me having a break down and we're so kind. I am eternally grateful.

nakedscientist · 19/12/2017 09:23

Mookins: its an all or nothing career - people think you know everything or nothing

What a very insightful comment! I think its the public's (including your family's) ignorance.

All their vision of Dr/nurses comes from Carry on Dr! I have a PhD in Biomedical science and am "not a proper Dr".

Make sure that you never refer to yourself as just anything and then ignore, ignore, ignore.

Intercom · 19/12/2017 09:27

YANBU. It doesn't matter what job you do or what you earn, it still shouldn't result in sneering and disrespectful comments. What do you say back to them? How about "Did you mean to be so rude?"

Willow2017 · 19/12/2017 09:35

amelia
Don't be ridiculous. Nurses dont want nor need the 'kudos' of being a dr. Nursing is a highly skilled profession in its own right.

Yes there are good and bad in every profession but the majority of nurses are dedicatef to the care of thier patients and without them drs wouldn't be able to do much. Its not drs who are by the patients bedside monitiring them, changing dressings, cleaning up sick, washing patients, emptying drains and catheter bags or administering meds its nurses.
Nobody is saying every nurse is perfect but there is no need to say you are 'just' a nurse.
As pp have said its quite common for drs to ask nurses opinions before presctibing trratment as they only see patients at ward rounds or if called to the ward or are there for a specific reason. Nurses see patients 24/7 and can asses changes in condition quickly and are on hand to deal with emergencies long before drs get there.

A little bit of appreciation goes a long way in any job why should nurses be exempt?

WeirdCatLady · 19/12/2017 09:36

Your family shouldn’t be belittling you at all.

Nurses are great and do a very valuable job. As do all healthcare professionals. Including Doctors. But Doctors ARE higher in the hierarchy than nurses. That’s just a fact. It’s like saying a TA is the same as a teacher. They’re not. They both do valuable jobs, but one has more responsibility and gets paid more. (That’s not to say nurses have no responsibilities, before I get leapt on).

mookinsx · 19/12/2017 09:39

nakedscientist

I don't think that was an insult in regard to what i said? if it was please elaborate

i work in the NHS and people have no respect a lot of the time. I've had someone threaten to call the police on me (i couldn't do what they wanted) I've had people tell me that i cant tell them the result and a dr needs to call them today.
which just isn't always possible

Orchardgreen · 19/12/2017 09:40

OP, if it's any consolation I'm a retired doctor. My mother asks me for my opinion, I tell her then she ignores me, goes to see her GP who tells exactly the same that I did. But she believes him, not me.

Turquoise123 · 19/12/2017 09:44

are they perhaps jealous as well as painfully misinformed ?

Anonymum123 · 19/12/2017 09:50

Being a nurse is a completely different skill set to being a doctor. Why do they need to be compared as if one is better than the other? They are different jobs and both extremely challenging.

Doctors make more decisions and take more responsibility and thus require more training and (in theory- although as a junior doctor this is not happening for me!) therefore are paid more. But that does not make it a better job than nursing or being a nurse being ‘just a nurse’.

And let’s not forget that many senior and specialist nurse roles now include management plans and prescribing.

(This ‘just nursing’ and the idea that nursing is for people not brainy enough to be doctors really pisses me off).

Stompythedinosaur · 19/12/2017 09:51

amelia
Don't be ridiculous. Nurses dont want nor need the 'kudos' of being a dr. Nursing is a highly skilled profession in its own right.

^This.

I don't want to be a doctor, just like I don't want to be a police officer, office worker or waitress. Not that there is anything wrong with those jobs. I want the job I do as a nurse to be valued by society, because I believe it's an important and skilled job.

FruitCider · 19/12/2017 09:51

All the good doctors/consultants I know really respect nurses and teach the really junior doctors to do the same. Your family are idiots.
I feel your pain, we paramedics are described as 'ambulance drivers' even by the Health Secretary! 

I work with paramedics, when shit gets real and the defib is yelling “call for help”, l am the help but I can’t run an IV to correct potential hypovolemia the sound of the paramedics running in is music to my ears and in that very second I know that whatever the outcome my patient had the best emergency care possible. So from a nurse - THANK YOU. I’m not a gynaecologist but I know a hunt when I see one, calling you an ambulance driver is possibly more insulting than me being called “just a nurse”!!!!

AmeliaFlashtart · 19/12/2017 09:54

Doctors ARE higher in the hierarchy than nurses. That’s just a fact. It’s like saying a TA is the same as a teacher. They’re not. They both do valuable jobs, but one has more responsibility and gets paid more

This with bells on, This situation that you're considered 'just' a whatever isn't unique to nurses it happens in every job stream or profession. There's always a hierarchy, if it bothers you train for the top slot.

Rubies12345 · 19/12/2017 09:55

I think this is common with all “non - professional” roles

Nursing is a profession!

RedForFilth · 19/12/2017 09:55

I hear you OP! I'm "just" a carer. I've had many doctors look down at me when I've been giving them information (which I know off the top of my head but also have paperwork ready to back it up). One of them tried to put a resident on end of life care when she just had a UTI! She lived a further 3 years and had a good quality of life but I had to fight to get him to listen!

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