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AIBU?

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Original poster

To view friend in a different light

62 replies

auriofthemoon · 18/12/2017 16:56

I have a new friend. Someone I'm actually able to have a proper conversation with as I'm usually massively antisocial. It's been great to have someone with the same thoughts and views.

The other day I was found for a cup of tea and the kids were playing and I made a comment about something new of hers and asked her where she got it. She replied with the place and price and then said 'well if I had paid for it' I made a comment about vouchers or something and she replied that she had just forgotten to pay and then didn't bother going back in when she realised.

I don't know why but it's really playing on my mind. Maybe some people wouldn't consider it a big deal but it's just changed the way I feel about her and I'm sort of disappointed.

I am more than happy to be told I am being unreasonable!

OP posts:
Tippz · 18/12/2017 18:28

Anyone who is not embarrassed or ashamed at stealing something (even accidentally) is a twat.

@sinisterbumfacedcat

Even accidentally?!?! Jesus get a grip!

Yes, even accidentally dear. And keep your grips to yourself! I don't fucking need one!

@iamfreyhoundhearmeroar

Whether it was accidental it not is neither here nor there, really... The point is she boasted about it to a new acquaintance. Clearly feeling victorious, or at least feeling zero shame?

Quite!

A couple of posters here seem be missing the point, or cannot be arsed to read the posts properly, or are just fucking goading.

Even if you steal something accidentally, you are a twat of the highest order if you are not at least a little bit embarrassed by it, (or even worse, actually think it's funny or clever.... Hmm )

Anyone who disagrees, is saying they are have no qualms about stealing.

Nasty. Hmm Should be ashamed of themselves. FFS, were you raised in a barn?! Hmm

VladmirsPoutine · 18/12/2017 18:35

What is it about this specific issue of not paying, forgetting to pay or whatever that brings out the batshit in posters. There was a poster once who apparently came out in hives when she discovered she hadn't paid around £.4.50 for her shopping and everyone was telling her she should either seek penance by donating a similar amount to charity or walking back half an hour in the snow to pay for it.
Batshit.

StopHammerTime · 18/12/2017 18:46

Fact is there is no such thing as 'accidental' theft in these circumstances. Legally if you forget to pay for an item and you later make the decision to keep it that is still legally theft. The action and the intent don't have to occur at the same time, they can occur at different times and still amount to theft. Day 1 at law school.

I agree that travelling out of one's way to return an item of minor value is perhaps excessive but I dislike when people regard themselves as 'jammy' when they have in fact stolen.

Tippz · 18/12/2017 18:48

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Tippz · 18/12/2017 18:56

Fact is there is no such thing as 'accidental' theft in these circumstances. Legally if you forget to pay for an item and you later make the decision to keep it that is still legally theft. The action and the intent don't have to occur at the same time, they can occur at different times and still amount to theft. Day 1 at law school.

I agree that travelling out of one's way to return an item of minor value is perhaps excessive but I dislike when people regard themselves as 'jammy' when they have in fact stolen.

This ^ I hope the next time the OP's friend steals something, she is fucking caught, and ends up with a criminal record.

I also hope it happens to the posters thinking it's just fucking great to get away with stealing, and anyone who thinks it's wrong is 'batshit!' Hmm

Pfftkids · 18/12/2017 18:56

This escalated quickly, so much anger Confused

I personally wouldn't think too much about it. She told you what happened because you asked where she got it not blurting it out trying to show off without you even asking.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/12/2017 18:56

@Tippz Point proved.
Cheers Grin

Tippz · 18/12/2017 18:58

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SinisterBumFacedCat · 18/12/2017 18:59

Tippz I was raised to accept people make mistakes.

But I don't think much of your tone on here.

Tippz · 18/12/2017 18:59

And the silly cheers Grin bollocks just makes you look a bit silly.

Grow up.

Tippz · 18/12/2017 19:00

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Tippz · 18/12/2017 19:01

You just carry on blathering about how great it is to get away with stealing. Says more about you than me.

Toodles!

SinisterBumFacedCat · 18/12/2017 19:01

Haven't you got homework to do?

SinisterBumFacedCat · 18/12/2017 19:04

Op sorry your thread has got so ridiculously derailed.

I've reported the offensive poster.

user1497997754 · 18/12/2017 19:05

I stole a purse from John Lewis with my friend 41 years ago.....still haunts me to this day.....

EllaHen · 18/12/2017 19:06

I would say your new friend has dodged the bullet.

tattyheadsmum · 18/12/2017 19:07

Wow. That escalated quickly.

OP, I’m sort of on the fence. I would be a little Hmm if someone said that to me, but as someone else has said, it’s actually quite rare in my experience to meet a mum friend that you properly click with. Whilst I agree you should keep an eye open for any similar shady behaviour, I wouldn’t be so quick to drop her as others have suggested.

IrkThePurist · 18/12/2017 19:10

To be upset that you accidentally stole an item shows you are basically honest. Gloating about it shows you aren't.

Original poster
auriofthemoon · 18/12/2017 19:15

Yh there's no way I'm going to cut contact over something like this. Like I've said previously, if it's something that keeps happening, as in she is actively doing it and bragging about it, then I will, because I wouldn't be able to get passed that.

But from something like this alone, she's still a really good friend to me who I connect with and love to talk to. And this causal one off isn't enough for me to actually not want to be her friend anymore... I just felt a bit disappointed and uncomfortable with it. She is a very blasé person about everything though.

But yh I'm not going to call her up outraged and declare her a tea leaf and turn her over to the police. I'm just...uncomfortable with it.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 18/12/2017 19:15

The only point proven is you think it is ok to steal as long as it's accidental, and you have the fucking audacity to call OTHERS batshit?!

@Tippz Oddly enough if you read my post correctly you'd see that I never actually expressed an opinion of theft accidental or otherwise. I never said if I think its ok or not. But of course your calm and rational demeanour got in the way of you seeing that didn't it Grin.
When you've wiped the red mist from your eyes perhaps you could give it a once-over.

pandarific · 18/12/2017 19:16

Oh for god’s sake. Put me in the ‘if you accidentally steal a £5 beach towel from an international chain, I will not disown you’ camp.

Neiflette · 18/12/2017 19:17

I accidently did this in Tesco with some veg. Toddler was kicking off and picked a packet of okra on the shelf just so she could have a look etc. Paid for my stuff and walked out... Then when I got home realised she still had them!

I was embarrassed but at the same time did find it a bit funny that I'd roped my toddler into shoplifting Grin and that we didn't accidently steal something useful - I've never eaten okra in my life.Confused

pandarific · 18/12/2017 19:18

Not directed at you by the way OP, your response is sensible and reasonable.

Neiflette · 18/12/2017 19:19

That last bit was light-hearted btw....

Rudgie47 · 18/12/2017 19:20

I wouldnt be too bothered really. If she said she had committed a big heist then I would think again because of the people she would would be mixing with.
But just for that then I'd let it go.