Was IU to be feeling this way or her

[Mmmmmmmchips]

Went for school pickup
A mum whose DC my DC plays with cane to talk to me.
Amongst the general chit chat I asked her how her Xmas planning was going.
I then told her I’ve done most if not all my shopping.
She then asked why do I buy presents and celebrate Xmas if I’m not Christian.
I am in fact Indian but not any religion.
She asked me again do I celebrate it and what’s the point.
It made me feel awkward but mumbled something.
So was she thinking what someone else would be thinking and just said it out aloud or did she have a point.
For the record I don’t think they are regular churchgoers if at all

What a bitchy thing to ask? She racially profiled you! Did she ask all the other mothers there why they celebrate Christmas if they don't go to church? Not many people go to church these days? Very horrible thing for her to say.

You can call your question innocuous if you wish, but it is not.

People who face prejudice are constantly asked are you sure you're not over-reacting? and it gets pretty wearing.

These tiny things build up.

I think she sounds weird OP. I really hope she wasn’t being racist but it sounds like she was. At best she was being a bit weird.

From an atheist who loves Christmas!

Yes I agree that the woman did make an assumption that the op wouldn’t be Christian at all and therefore wouldn’t want to celebrate Christmas.
It’s forgetting that many people who aren’t Christian (either because they have no affiliation to a religion or because they have a different religion) still celebrate Christmas, the secular Christmas, not the religious one.

I wouldn’t have had an issue with the question when she asked the first time. I have a very issue with the fact she insisted a lot on it.

She then asked why do I buy presents and celebrate Xmas if I’m not Christian. I am in fact Indian but not any religion

So no Christians in India then ????????

Sounds a tad thick (or goady) to me.

Merry Xmas, by the way !

Except that I didn’t ask if OP was sure she wasn’t overreacting.

In fact, I clarified that I thought it was ignorant but I can acknowledge that sometimes a person’s ignorance is just that; a lack of knowledge/cop-on and isn’t in fact based in malicious intent or deep seeded prejudice.

Which is why I asked OP what her general opinion of the woman is.

I agree she was being ignorant and thoughtless and not representative of what everyone else is thinking. How annoying for you. Not the point of your question because as everyone else has said, celebrating Christmas here can be for many different reasons but we probably know why she made her assumptions. She clearly has no clue how many million Christians there are in India (depending on which source you look at, at least 30 million but probably double that!) - many more Church goers than here!

I think this is really ignorant. It's a cultural festival, anyone should be allowed to celebrate it and while I don't assume people are going to celebrate I never assume they're not celebrating iyswim
I've been part of a conversation where someone we had only just met asked me all about my plans then told my friend who is Indian in origin and of no religion "you must be sooo bored at this time of year since it's always christmas christmas christmas. When's your celebration thingy?". My friend pointed out that she's lived in a country that celebrates Christmas since she was two, is about as festive as they come, and asked "why are you assuming caoraich celebrates christmas? Is it because she's white? Did you know she's an ATHEIST?"

The asker looked awkward and shuffled away.

Well it reads to me like a fairly blatant case of stereotyping/ignorance. (And I don't think Trills sounded like she was making a leap at all.)

OP, YANBU and no she doesn't have a point.

I’m afraid that assuming my question meant that I thought OP was being over sensitive and jumping to conclusions was a leap since that’s not why I asked, and I should know!

If only Christians celebrated Christmas it would, sadly, be a very quiet time of year.

I have Jewish friends who celebrate Christmas, though TBF it does coincide with Hannukah, Moslem friends, Hindu friends, Sikh friends, Buddhist friends and LOADS of atheist friends, who all celebrate Christmas.

Frankly, someone who is a practising member of any faith is less hypocritical than someone who isn't - at least they acknowledge a Power greater than themselves in the universe.

AND - as situp has said - there are many, many practising Christians in India - more than in the UK.

I don't think ignorance about something this basic can be divorced from a structurally prejudiced/racist background culture and isolated as 'just' ignorance.

There is no way a person living a mainstream UK lifestyle with access to standard information sources could reasonably not know that Christmas is celebrated by people of all sorts of ethnicities. This type of ignorance (especially involving the query 'what's the point?' etc.) is wilful.

What a raging ignoramus she is!! For so so many reasons: lots of people who hail from India are Christian, bet she wouldnt have asked a white mate, the vast majority of people who celebrate it in this country are hardly staunch Christians, the festival pre-dates Christianity by some way etc etc etc.

I think “its a fantastic knees-up” would do as a come back if the silly bitch dares to ask such a dumbass question again (if you can bring yourself not to shout at her for being a racist cow).

She then asked why do I buy presents and celebrate Xmas if I’m not Christian.
I am in fact Indian but not any religion.
She asked me again do I celebrate it and what’s the point.

OP isn’t Christian. And looks like she didn’t answer the first time.

I just think if my kids’ parents and I can’t imagine any of them going out of their way to be willfully prejudiced/racist.

If I was asked why I celebrate Christmas I would say because we enjoy it as a holiday.

As I said, we were none of us there so we can’t be sure of the tone/history/intention. I would give a previously normal person the benefit of the doubt, answer the question, and move on!

The assumption that Op isn't Christian is daft, the assumption that only Christians can celebrate Christmas is also daft.

The assumption that Op isn't Christian is daft, the assumption that only Christians can celebrate Christmas is also daft.

Agreed. But some people really are just genuinely thick!

I don't think it's that odd a question if she assumed you followed a different religion. I guess you could take issue with her making that assumption based on how you look.

For many people who have no religious affiliation, Xmas is just a secular holiday with its own traditions. However, if you believe in a religion other than Christianity, you presumably celebrate your religion's festivals and holidays and may actively not want to get involved with rituals that celebrate the idea of Jesus being the son of God.

No, it's not what most people think, so rest easy! Most people don't see Christmas as a particularly Christian festival these days, more a sort of 'Hail to Capitalism' type thing - let's all spend lots of money and keep the wheels of society turning.

Actually, for most people, I think it's just a fun time where presents are given and received and you eat a lot of stuff you wouldn't normally and take a few days off work.

However it's viewed, by whoever, doesn't matter. I love Christmas and I hope you have a lovely time and enjoy it too.

If only Christians celebrated Christmas it would, sadly, be a very quiet time of year

Well we start with the fact that "Christmas" was actually a pagan festival waaaaaaaaaay before Jesus and his followers hit the scene anyway.

("Pagan" is my word of the day. Apparently it's "a thing" in DSs circle )

Why shouldn't I?

I don’t think she was being malicious- ignorant yes.

She also said if ‘I didn’t have to bother to buy presents I wouldn’t’

I did grow up in a Hindu family but for my own reasons do not believe. However as I have been brought up with the traditions I celebrate Diwali too. Perhaps she thought I was being greedy 😬

I think I didn’t take offense that she assumed I wasn’t Christian but that I shouldn’t be buying presents (although last year I gave her DC a small gift from my DC on Christmas)

“Because I want to!”

My neighbour is Indian - he’s catholic.

I only know this because he mentioned attending midnight mass and the church he attends.

It never crossed my mind to wonder why he celebrates xmas though! (Before I knew this!)

Jesus Christ (pun intended) how rude and ignorant of her!

Presumably she has jumped to conclusions based on skin colour (if she was not already aware you are a non believer). I know Christians who are from India and Pakistan (actually born there) and have Hindi neighbours and a former boss who also celebrate Christmas. So I haven't questioned it since my teen years when I was less well informed about the world.

I wonder if she would ask the same question of a white British person? My family are a mixture of Atheists, Agnostics and Humanists and we celebrate. No one has ever questioned why we bother to have Christmas because we're white and of Irish heritage (I have been assumed to be Catholic for that reason though!).

It sounds like her ignorance means she is unintentionally bigoted. As long as you are sure she isn't being malicious, if it ever comes up again just say you're non denominational and like celebrating, or that you do it for your DC (which is what my old boss used to say), or just "Because we want to" - whatever your reason is.

And who doesn't like presents?! What a silly thing of her to say. Don't give her anything and buy yourself something extra instead!

Well we start with the fact that "Christmas" was actually a pagan festival waaaaaaaaaay before Jesus and his followers hit the scene anyway.

Yes - but I like to think that in this day and age we wouldn't be chasing a red-haired man through the winter countryside with a pack of hounds so that when they catch him and tear him apart we'll ensure a good harvest!

I think that there are even fewer practising Pagans than there are Christians - though perhaps if the old traditions were brought back . . .

Because if my kids are raised around hundreds of people who all have a wonderful day with presents and mine don’t then that’d be very shit for them.

I am agnostic and DP is atheist ... Xmas is our favourite time of year, where we celebrate family, generosity and love , rather than Jesus. Like most other Brit’s.