To ask for successful breastfeeding stories when things didn't work out the first time

[Candyfloss1122]

I have a 10 month old DD who has been formula fed since a few days old. I had planned to breast feed her, but I have completely flat nipples, and I just couldn't get her to latch, it was very distressing. I didn't feel supported at all in the hospital, nobody even mentioned nipple sheilds, so after a couple of days of expressing and producing more blood than milk I reluctantly gave her formula.

Ds is due at the beginning of April, I would love to breast feed him, but I'm worried that my "equipment" just isn't up to scratch and I will never successfully breast feed.

Any positive stories out there in a similar situation? Thanks!

Yes! Also flat nipples, didn't manage to breastfeed first time round - gave up at day 3.

Now exclusively breastfeeding my second who is almost 1 :)

Google for a la leche league meeting or group near you, they offer fantastic advice and can show you in person the best techniques for different shapes and sizes of nipples.

In particular nipple shields and the flipple technique are usually helpful for flat nipples, but you can also look at position of the baby, supplemental nursing systems using your expressed milk, etc.

Totally possible.

Couldn’t feed first at all - second started feeding minutes after birth and never looked back. To this day, no idea why they were so different except that I was way more relaxed the second time becasue I knew that if it didn’t work it didn’t work and formula wasn’t the poison it’s sometimes made out to be! For what it’s worth, the breastfed child has way more health related issues!

I have no advice, op, but am in a similar position to you. I'm due in Feb and will have a 13 month gap. Hoping to bf number two, Ds was just too poorly to establish bf when he was born

Same! Flat nips, mastitis, blood, pain, tears etc with first. Gave up after 10 days. I was determined with my second so with sheer bloody mindedness, nipple shields and support from breastfeeding support workers, I breastfed for 2 years. It's hard work at first but with the right support (and nipple shields!) it can be done. Good luck.

With my first, my milk took two weeks to come in. Ds1 was a very hungry baby, but a very slow feeder. I gave up after 5 weeks as it was just too bloody exhausting and I'd struggled with getting a good latch so my nipples were very sore.
Ds2, on the other hand, loved feeding from me and hated formula. Despite being an EMCS at 36 weeks, my milk came in very quickly. I remember one of the nurses in the hospital trying to cup feed him formula and he got rather cross, spat it all out and then settled happily for a breast feed! I only stopped when he was 11 months and he kept biting me!

Contact the breastfeeding network. They have advisors and clinics all over the place and they usually do antenatal sessions so you don't even have to wait until you give birth to get support.
www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/breastfeeding-support/

First I was tired, stressed and felt stupid and overwhelmed and couldn't comfortably hold him (C-section) and he just wouldn't latch. Second I was prepared for it to hurt, had nipple shields and vaginal birth so recovered faster. And she latched really easily.
Still breastfeeding 6 months on and really wasn't expecting to.

Flat nipples - 6 months with nipple shields for the first baby till I just couldn't anymore. Second baby - no need for nipple shields, fed for a year.
There is hope.
I think confidence had somethinng to do with, and I wasn't obsessing about it as much with another child careering around.
Good luck

@commanderdaisy...what do you think the difference was second time round that enabled you to not need nipple sheilds? After trying to feed DD so unsuccessfully, I just can't imagine how a baby would latch!

Flat nips here and although I did feed my first for 6 months, it wasn't a great experience. Nipple Shields are really useful - get some good quality ones (medela or avent) and give it a go.

What I did learn was that having flat nipples does genuinely make it really hard to breastfeed. No one seems to tell you this.

Second baby is now 6 weeks old and I tried breastfeeding for a few days but found it just as hard as last time. So I'm expressing a few times a day - baby has 50\50 formula and expressed breast milk.

I guess I'm trying to say get yourself some Shields, give it a go and if it doesn't work, don't beat yourself up about it. there's no reason you can't give pumping a go so that baby gets some breast milk if you want to.

I haven't had the first then second situation but had massive problems at the start but was suvccessful. Look at the flipple technique and rugby ball position. Remember also that it's breastfeeding and not nipple feeding. Give yourself time to find success too, there's so much societal pressure on mums to be out and about so quickly- it's absolute nonsense.

I've come out of lurking because this was me!! I have flat nipples but I've been exclusively breastfeeding my second for 4 months now. I won't lie, the first few weeks were really tough, I had crap support again once out of the hospital as on the surface my latch appeared fine and ds2 was putting on weight. I had mastitis 3 times and awful cracked nipples but then another mum reccomened the flipple technique and it's been a game changer, I absolutely love breastfeeding and now it's comfortable it just seems much easier than bottle feeding. I think this lady explains the flipple technique really well Also yes nipple shields can have downsides but far better to use them then not BF at all.

So my advice would be to build up a support network of other breastfeeding mums, even while pregnant I would start going to something like a La Leche League group as often there will be another mum there who has had similar experiences. The best group I go to was set up by a Mum who was fed up with the lack of local support, hopefully there is something similar near you, I found out about mine through a local Facebook mum's group.

It can be a bit of a culture shock BF after FF as BF babies feed more frequently, this is absolutely normal. I put together a 'boobie box' for DS1 with toys and books especially for when DS2 was cluster feeding so he didn't feel left out.

I did have a bit of a wobble once BF became easier, I felt awful that I couldn't share the experience with DS1. Always remember that you did your best and that your DD is happy and healthy thanks to formula. By feeding DS you'll be normalising (not sure if that is even a word!) breastfeeding for her, which is a very good thing.

Congratulations and best of luck!

Not got the flat nippple situation, but I formula fed DS1 after a week of disastrous and very painful attempts at breastfeeding.
18 months later, DS2 ended up being breastfed for 8 months. The difference was me being more relaxed and a lot more support from midwives and family members. Take it a feed at a time, use nipple shields, definitiely investigate the flipple technique, and please don't beat yourself up.

Breastfed DS1 for 3 1/2 moths till he was admitted to hospital with weight loss. Gave up whilst he was in hospital for a few days.

DS2 is still going now at 2 1/2 yrs!

Difference between DD (10wks of hell BFing before we cracked it) and DS (24hrs of difficulty), was that I was far more relaxed and knew what to expect. I already had smothered my nipples in lansinoh, knew it would hurt to start with until I got over the sensitivity and knew some things to try to help with DS's latch (which I'd used with DD). I was also quite relaxed about feeding in whatever manner I needed to with DS, either BF, FF or mixed, I think that mindset really helped too.

Definitely find some groups locally to get support from. I also found a video online of a baby latching, filmed from the mum's viewpoint. Not sure where I found it but it was so useful to see the latch from my view.

I had big breasts and with DD they were so engorged with milk they were rock hard and impossible for her to latch. She was a tiny baby too, so a big discrepancy between my huge breasts and her tiny mouth! DS was bigger anyway and I expressed a little to make my breasts a bit softer to help him latch the first few times.

Three months with my first. I didn't have support and kept getting raging mastitis so I stopped. Second time round I researched and found a support group. Stopped when she was 14 months and I did my breastfeeding peer supporter training and ran a group for four years.
Ds is now two and nurses occasionally.
I'd say arm yourself with good research and find a local support group and go now. Just go for a brew and get used to the group.
You can do this xx

Flat nipples was one reason why breastfeeding didn't work out with dc1, even with nipple shields. To my total surprise dc2 took to bf just fine, though it took a couple of weeks of mixed feeding until we totally nailed it. 8 months on still going strong though having difficulty introducing a bottle so I can work/sleep/go out alone. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out second time, I didn't do anything different either time, dc2 just "got it". Good luck with it all!

Candyfloss1122 ( different time zone- sorry for the delay).
I think I was alot more relaxed and less frightened that I would break the baby.
I lived in a very very isolated rural area with no easily accessible support from lactation specialists and was too afraid to drop the nipple shields. I delivered DS2 at a different hospital to DS1. The consultants didn't go into as much of a flap about my nipples which meant I didn't either. DS2 just latched, after I learned to kind of roll my flat nipple into his mouth. Had to sort of stuff it in a bit more but it worked. The lactation consultants at second hospital were much better, which definitely helped and didn't immediately jump for the nipple shields. I suggested them annd that was when they showed me this sort of rolling skill.
Maybe ask around for a really experienced lactation consultant? My nipples are so flat they're almost innverted and they're huge too( hate that), so if I can you should be able to.
DS2 was an absolute bruiser of a child from the get go, and turned into this plump, Buddha like object.

First of all congrats on your pregnancy :)

I wasn't in exactly the same situation as you - but I had a very difficult start to breastfeeding. My DS was born 6 weeks early by emergency c section and placed on a feeding tube. All the medical professionals told me breastfeeding was very unlikely to be a success. He's now nearly 5 months old and I'm still breastfeeding :)

My advice?

1. If the feeding isn't successful at first keep pumping to maintain supply. After 5 days of begging for a breast pump and hand expressing every 3 hours the midwife finally brought me one. This meany when my DS finally learnt to suck I was ready!
2. Don't listen to the profeesionals who tell you it isn't possible to feed due to your nipples. The midwife told me I wouldn't be able to feed from my right nipple. It gave me a complex and I nearly lost supply on that side.
3. Definitely get in touch with La Leche League. They have seen all types of issues and have great practical advice. I also founnd reading their book a great confidence boost when I was at my lowest.
4. Stay positive - you are now so that's a great step! You are already determined and if you keep thinking you can do it I'm sure you will.
5. Finally if for whatever reason things don't work out please don't beat yourself up. Fed is best and just look at your DD who is thriving and remember that.

Good luck x

I had a similar situation to others. Ds just wouldn't feed at first - i think a combination of flat nipples and him being dosed up on pethedine at first and then too impatiant when he did find his appetite. I did get a kind of little sucker thing from lansinoh which you used to draw the nipple out and managed to get him feeding if I 'tricked' him with a bottle first but it was just a downward spiral and he was fully ff from around 2 weeks.
dd I went in armed with my sucker thing but didn't need it - midwife just sort of shoved her on soon after birth and she fed straight away. My nipples didn't remain flat for long but they did hurt - as in toecurlingly bad - for a good few weeks. However I was so tired I couldn't think through the logistics of bottles so kept going. Eventually calmed down and fed for around 6 months.

I don't have flat nipples but it did take me about 3 weeks to get breastfeeding sorted for dd1.
She didn't get hardly anything at all for about two days, but midwife said that was fine as they have 'stores' for when they're first born.
Good luck, I loved breastfeeding, it's one of my favourite memories of new born stage

Lansinoh sucker thingy (aka 'latch assist') - sorry its not clicky link m.johnlewis.com/lansinoh-latch-assist/p231841640?sku=231841640&s_kwcid=2dx92700027454054384&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CjwKCAiA693RBRAwEiwALCc3u50v_jWxV-0b_mQW6CrHhR-B84EP3oePPfVcP9GVOAhK9rkTDpQ3FBoCZr8QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I did manage to BF DC with flat nipples initially using shields and mix feeding. They're no longer flat though, they seem to have permanently changed to sticky out ones, I'm hoping that means that I won't have to faff with shields with DC2 and can just BF without having to go through the hassle of bottles.

If it's possible to persevere, they start sticking out within weeks of using the shields and I weaned DC1 off the shields as soon as I noticed.

Don't worry about formula, there was an Irish study which showed BF babies do better than FF babies at certain things but ONLY until the age of about 5. After that there was no obvious benefit.

Study.

Not the same issue as you, but only managed to breastfeed DD1 for 2 months before needing to combi feed (and she gave up completely at 5 months). With my other two children I breastfed till 16 months.

I found www.kellymom.com a brilliant resource, along with La Leche League. I worked out what the problem was with DD1 (forceful letdown) and those sites helped me work out how to solve it for DD2.

I also went to a breastfeeding clinic run by the NHS when DD2 made my nipples bleed. They were very helpful.

Work out what services are available to you before the baby is born. And be kind to yourself. Formula is bloody good stuff too.

All the best.

It's been 4 years since I last breast fed. But I successfully breast fed both my kids and also suffer flat nipples. I struggled with both. But nipple shields are your friend! I only used them for a a few weeks and then weaned the baby and me off of them and then exclusively breast fed both kids to 1 year. The nipple shields give the baby something to suckle on.

What you need to do is have the nipple shields bought and sterilised before birth. And have multiple sets of nipple shields so that you always have at least one set sterilised and ready to use. At least two sets in your bag ready to use, a couple of sets in the bedroom for night feeding, a couple of spares in case you drop one etc.

Then when baby is born, try to breast feed and if you struggle, then use the nipple shields. You will soon get into a routine, you simply pop the shield on before you feed.

After a few weeks, when I was confidently feeding and no more nipple pain etc. I started to wean us off using them.

I first of all used shields for a few weeks until we had feeding established. Then After a weeks, I would start a feed with the nipple shield and then after a short while (maybe 1 minute) I slipped the shield off and got baby back on immediately (it was a bit tricky for us both as the boob and nipple were a bit slippy as I had a lot of milk) - it was tricky but I persevered. If the baby didn't manage to latch on, I used the nipple shield again and then tried again at the next feed. I kept this up for a few weeks (starting off the feed with the shield and then removing and finishing the feed without the shield).

Once the baby was successfully feeding without it the shield, I tried to start the feed without the shield. It became easier, as the baby was used to my flat nipples by then and how to latch. And also possibly, my nipples were less flat as they'd been sucked for a few weeks! If I was unable to start the feed without it the shield, I used the shield again and then removed part-way through the feed. But I kept trying and eventually I was able to feed without the shields.

I thought second time around would be easier, but it wasn't. I still had to start with shields and wean us off them.

I am SURE that this would work for you too and I always like to share my story as it really worked.

I wish you the best of luck.